My Dirty Little Secret.....

My dirty little secret is........(drumroll please).........I REALLY DON'T LIKE SUMMER.

I know it doesn't sound like much....or very dirty. BUT, when you actually speak it out loud to people; they look at you like....well, like....you're a smoker! Or like you have two heads. So it's not something I let get around.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I never went to summer camp. (Another jaw-dropper.) Or maybe it's because I'm Irish (I've always wondered if your ancestry had something to do with your climate comfort zone). Or maybe, just maybe, it's as simple as this. I'M JUST NOT A SUMMER PERSON.

I don't like the heat and I definately don't like too much bright sun (I'll take a grey, moody day anytime). AND I don't like all the guilt that comes with the summer season. God forbid it's a beautiful summer's day (at least to some); you're suddenly surrounded by people calling and saying, "It's a beautiful day. What are you doing today? Do you want to go hiking, boating, fishing, camping, to the beach or to the waterpark?"

Well, I don't care much for the beach. I'm not one to sit in the hot sand, in the bright, blinding light, while the heat penetrates through every pore in my body and brain, and sucks the life out of me. And not only that...you have to pack for the beach as if it were a weekender, as opposed to a day trip.

You need your refreshments - so as not to dehydrate while enjoying "your beautiful day". And then you need something to keep your refreshments cold, so you need to bring your cooler (don't forget the ice!). And let's not forget the umbrella to protect you from those damaging UV rays that are now enveloping you (as you enjoy "your beautiful day"). You'll also need at least one towel, a sheet, blanket, and/or chair, suntan lotion (more protection), sunglasses (that damn bright light!) and perhaps a book, frisbee, volleyball, or radio to help keep you entertained while enjoying "your beautiful day". And God help you if you have kids! You might as well pack a small camper!

And speaking of campers... as I previously stated, I am not one of them. Now there's something you really have to pack for! All so you can sleep in the dirt, surrounded by bugs and wildlife, struggle to cook your own food (I have a hard enough time with that one at home, in our very modern kitchen, thank you very much). AND you get to pee in the woods. Oh, and if you're a very resourceful camper, you can actually catch your own food, maybe by doing a little fishing. (Hmmmm....I think I'd rather sit home and count the hairs on my head.)

Naturally, when I think of fishing, I think of boating. Another "beautiful day" activity. Unless of course, you're me - and you get boat sick. Besides, I think if God wanted me hanging out in a large body of water, he would have given me finns!

Ahhh...but what about those waterparks? Everyone loves waterparks. Sure, I love to be surrounded by thousands of people and their screaming children, and pay exorbitant amounts of money to stand on lines for hours - in the heat - to go on rides that scare the bejeeper's out of me and make my stomach turn. Sounds like great fun.

But I'm not all that bad. There is one thing that I do like about summer days. I like it when the sun goes down and they turn into summer nights. Summer nights on the porch with friends and family, wine and beer, light food and good music. To me, that's the best part of summer! That is, until those beetles that are built like B52's start buzzing around, and have you ducking like a bobblehead. (Geez, I thought I left those behind in Manhattan...only there they didn't have wings and they were called waterbugs!)

Well, I could go on to hiking and other "beautiful day" activities, but I think you know where I stand. My dirty little secret is out.

In any case, I really am a fun person. Just not a summer person. Give me a grey, winter's day, a nice snowfall, my books and my art, and a cozy fire and nobody saying, "It's a beautiful day out there....." - except of course, me!