PTSD

I also have a certain amount of PTSD from childhood abuse. There are certain triggers that can make me feel like a frightened child again even though I know I am safe in the situation. But, for the most part, I am enjoying life too much and my life is too blessed to look back instead of forward. But I know that PTSD symptoms can be unsettling at times. I don't hold grudges though or feel bad towards anyone. I forgive and go on.

People who were abused as children often have a lot of anger and many confusing emotions. Counseling is often very helpful in learning to accept and resolve these traumatic past experiences. I wish you luck.

You must be very strong to have survived this. Are you getting counseling? That has helped two of my friends with this when medication didn't help. Don't be so hard on yourself, though. Remember that none of us are perfect and all of us get angry.

it happens to more people than you know, it happens we we experience very traumatic events, it could be a loss of a loved one, or loss of a job that can trigger it hon, its just that the cases you hear about most often is about veterans where it was first diagnosed as a disorder and rape victims etc.

When these triggers happen focus on the fact that you don't want to feel that way. Focus on the fact that you want to be different. Some days will be good and others you will struggle, but don't give up. You can always see a Physciatrist, they can help you deal with the emotions that are triggered when you feel this way.

PTSD can & does happen to anyone at any age. There are therapy regimens that work to relive the PTSD, then there are those regimens that simply maintain. Until & unless the PTSD sufferer can cut through the murk & get down inside of themselevs to find that single isue that is the core of the PTSD they will nevr rid themselves of the pain of PTSD. I know I did it...! It took me decades.....I thought that it was something from Viet Nam but as it turned out that was the exaccerbation the original cause & core was an incident from when I was 4 years old.

I suffer from PTSD, as well as a host of other things, you are not alone in this. I know how hard it is to trust and forgive people, especially when they hurt you. Life has taught you this lesson. It's like you could not control what happened when you were a child, but as an adult there are no second chances. I am very much like that. Most people do not get a second chance(or a first for that matter) to hurt me.

I am in therapy, and I hope that you are too. It is so important to talk things through with someone. Medication can and does help, but sometimes the meds you are on are not the right one for you or the right dosage. This is also why you need to be talking to someone, so that things can be changed or adjusted.

You said earlier that no one raped or beat you badly, but that you were abused. No matter what it is, NO ONE has the right to hurt a child in anyway. Those of us who were raped or molested or physically abused badly do not corner the market on PTSD. PTSD can pop up after a car accident, if involved with a robbery. There is no rhyme or reason to it, just that something happened that our minds can not deal with.

I am 36 years old, and I am still dealing with the issues that gave me PTSD and a few other things. You are right, it does affect you long into an adult life. People should really consider what they say and do to children. But they don't and for this reason, there are people like you and me, walking around trying to figure out how to put peices together again. I hope that any of this helps you, even if it is to know that you are not alone.

I am there with you. I do not hold grudges much, but I suffer in other ways. It is hard to get through and many people, including family do not understand too often. I wish you the power of overcoming this.

What Lisa said!!

I don't hold grudges, but I do have triggers.

One of them is English-speaking North American men with loud or very stern sounding voices.

All my Dad ever did was yell at everyone. I am legally blind, so voice tone is important anyway. My mother, sister and I were ALL emotionally abused when Dad lived with us, and we all paid for it in different ways.

A lot of people I know seem to think that PTSD only afflicts Veterans. Not true at all!!!!

I don't hold grudges, but I do watch for triggers. Strangely enough, I'm not afraid of much. I've prevented murders, and managed to stop a car that my grandfather was driving, when he was incapable of driving it. Oddly enough, since then I've felt rather uneasy driving down that particular road at night!! My boyfriend said that's no surprise. My family and I went back that way last week, and it was dark. I'm telling you, I just wanted to climb out of the sun-roof and RUN!! And the original insedent only happened about 2 months ago (Sept 10th, 2006).

As for preventing my neighbour's murder, (about a year ago) for the first month or two I'd freak if I heard someone walking in the hall!!

But after years of abuse from my father, I've become more determined to "stay on my feet" so to speak, and get on with it. I will never forget this stuff, and those triggers will be there forever... People THINK I'm holding on, but it's not something I do voluntarily. I mean WHO WOULD??!!

It's very hard to explain to those who have not experienced it.

PTSD DOES have cures but the traditional therapists & counselors do not wat to use them...then you would keep coming back to them throwing money their way. They can & do put a band aid on your pain....they can & do assuage your feelings & emotions until your feel a bit better but they NEVER get to the bottom of that murky place deep inside of you where the kernel of the problem lies. It took me from age 4 to age 60 to get to mine...! In that time I was a psycho-emotional wreck...! Now I have done it....beat the demon that was myself & have conquered the PTSD-causation.....! you can do it too....all of you if & only if you are ready to take a trip deep inside of yourself, to lay your souls bare to yourself & everyone else....become totally naked in the sight of the world so that the evil is exposed to the light. Once that ahs happened you can begin to heal your injured psyche. Was it pleasant? NI! I did itkicking & screaming as I fought it but in the end I caved in & then faced myself...that was when I beat it!!!

It's a nightmare with no end it seems...

In a way I've been lucky. As well as negative triggers, I have positive ones too; certain songs, voices.... some people "medicate" themselves with food, I use a good piece of music.

The BEST days of my life are all linked to a piece of music that played a role in my happiness on that day. Take November 10, 2001, for example. A friend of mine gave me 10 big crates of 78 RPM records, each containing around 50 records. A lot of hits from as far back as 1900 all the way up to the late 1950s. I spent the day with him sorting through records, and selecting the ones I wanted. He said he had too many. Then I came home and heard the Rememberence day music show on AM 740 (11th was a Sunday, but George had his show on a Saturday). There are about 50 unique pieces of music that I instantly associate with THAT DAY, and always will. I keep a CD containing some of those songs in my handbag, along with my portable player. Stress? Crisis? When others around me are reaching for their cigarettes, I'm reaching for my CD player. Music has ALWAYS been calming for me.

On the other hand, Rod Stewart's voice drives me beyond crazy, because it takes me back to being seat-belted into the back seat of Dad's car, as a child, with him drving at 90 MPH and arguing with Mom the entire way. Not liking Rod Stewart is BEYOND personal preference!!

And my sensitive hearing, and loud voices. Dad once yelled at me saying "you think YOU'RE SCARED? Think of all those veterans who have seen combat!"

I LISTENED TO HIM!!!! Oh boy did I listen!!! However, I interpreted it MY WAY.

He meant: "You don't have it bad, compared to some. Suck it up, and get the @#$% over it!!!!!!"

I figured: "Many have it worse than I do. If a loud voice scared me because of Dad's abuse, a car backfiring and reminding a veteran of combat must be HELL BEYOND ALL HELL!!! My Dad HASN'T been there, so what can he tell me about Veterans?

Instead of feeling guilty for my fears I used my fears to respect those who had it worse, even more!! Does that make sense?

A friend of mine with combat related PTSD told me once that where no one really takes him seriously, he's happy that I listen.

While my Dad would hold a man like him up as an example of why I should NOT be afraid of my "little problems," I see the human in him and everyone else around us and say "WOW! Here is a man worth knowing. I'd rather hear the facts from someone who has been there, than smoke from some know-it-all who only THINKS he's qualified to talk about it."

Here's a click and another 10 towards your next cash-out

i have ptsd from an abusive childhood too. it is frustrating to have triggers that you can't control. i'm right there with you, cutting people off because of one thing they have done, forget forgiveness.
i go to therapy once a week and have been for 4 years. it's rough, but isn't life so much better now than it was as a child? don't be so hard on yourself for having these thoughts and feelings. they are a protective mechanism, trust you gut and try to keep your anxiety down.

also, one thing i learned that made me feel a little better. ptsd is a mental injury, not a mental illness.

and, long term abuse as a child causes ptsd that is similar to the type prisoners of war come home with, it's called complex ptsd.