My son started school (pre K) on Monday and he had terrible separation Anxiety!!! The teachers said that he would be fine, it would take a few days of crying and he would be better. He had never been to day care of babysat, only with me and my husband.
Monday when I went to pick him up they said he wouldn't eat breakfast so one of the teacher took him into a room by himself and trying to make him eat. Then he took his shoes off and one teacher held him down while another teacher forced them back on him. They said he cryed all day and try to get out of the door. When I walk into get him, adam trying to grab one of the teachers hands and she pushed him away and then walked away from him.
Tuesday he would go potty in the school, because they yelled at him Monday for getting some of his on the floor. Three teachers grabbed him and forcefully made his wash his hands, because at 11 am everyone just washes their hands for no reason really. He still cryed all day long. The teacher said he needed to much adult supervision and she cryed that adam and another boy cryed to much for their moms. Whenever we'd drop him off he was screaming that he was scaried of the teachers.
He began having nightmares ~ crying in his sleep no no please mommy help me.
Wed. I wasn't allowed in the classroom, so I was worried about him and decided to go sit in the parking lot to listen to the class room. I heard my son screaming ~ mommy, I want my mommy!!! And then I heard one of the teachers yelled, well, she's not coming, so give it a break!
I was so pissed that I went right in and took my son out of the school. He starts another school this next week! I hope he isn't to scared and they said my husband and I could stay with him until he is comfortable. There are a tons of other things that happened bad, but these were the worst.
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Comments: 68
Secondly, I think if the teachers reacted the way you describe, they were totally out-of-line and you should speak to their supervisor (i.e., the principal) about what happened. If it happened with your son, chances are it is happening with other children. A teacher who is trained properly and experienced with that age group should not act the way you describe. As for the hand-washing, that's a pretty standard thing and should be approached as a positive safeguard against spreading illnesses through the school. As a mother, you know that good hygiene habits are important to learn and reinforce for kids, especially young ones. It should be done in a positive way, though.
Good luck to you and your son at the new school - I hope things work out well. It's going to be tough to un-do his impressions of school that he's developed. You and the teachers will need to be patient and positive and work together.
Funny thing - I was reading an article about puppies and the author strongly urged owners to make sure the puppy was taken out into public where they could acclimate themselves to large groups of people and other animals. She warned that if you didn't do that in the first year, the dog developed fears of other people and animals that would stay their whole lives.
I think the same applies to people, although we can learn social skills at any time in our lives. But, like other things, the earlier the better and easier.
Holding him down trying to force a shoe on him is cruelty and removing his self respect. No child should be treated like that. You stick to you guns and stay with him until he doesn't need you anymore.
A teacher who is for her students would give the child the message that you will be away but always come back for him/her. That message gives the child assurance. You did right.
However, there are a very small number of kids who never get used to a situation. Usually they are kids we see about once every 6 weeks, so they never adjust. You don't have that with going to school every day.
That said, I've tried to imagine the best possible way the teachers were trying to get him to wash his hands, put on his shoes and such. I can't come up with a scenario that wouldn't be scaring anyone-even an adult. I'm so glad you took him out of the school.
Yes, separation anxiety is to be expected. CHildren cry and we have to let them and it seems cruel and the child just knows we've got her parents locked up in the basement but it goes away in a few days.
A great big hint: The most compassionate good-bye from a parent is the shortest one. Prolonging the agony is just that, and it makes the recovery period just that much longer and more painful, too. Have the logistic details taken care of before you come in the building, let the child walk in on her own if she will, hug and go.
no one should rough handle any child
and if any school told me I had no right to view my child, he would be out.
Each child deals with school differently. My son did all kinds of strange things the first few years but I made him stay there and learn. He finally got used to it. I've had some situations in the past with the school and the teachers but I just kept talking to the principal and trying to work things out. It is not good to just pull him out. Bad for his psyche. He wanted you to do this. He wanted you to come and get him. I would've shown up, spoken to the teacher and the principal and then grab him out, if necessary. Or I would've spoken to my son and told him he had to behave in the class. He was going to go to school for many years and had to get used to it.
Go to school with him everyday if need be so that he can get used to it and get comfortable with the new people..........
I'm so happy you took him out and didn't do like some parents and ignore the obvious.
Not allowed in the classroom?! Excuse the heck out of my while I stomp on your foot and force you to move so I can step inside!
Grrrrrrrrrrr! People, I swear!