I’m looking for working moms on Gather who would be interested in writing about their lives and how they balance work and family. Are you a working mom? Would you like to share your story with fellow Gather members about how you maintain a balanced life? We all know it’s a hard choice to make. We’d love to hear your story.
Tell us if you’re a working mom in the comment field below and if you’re interested in writing about your life.
Thank you in advance for your time and comments!
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Comments: 129
I worked full-time until my daughter was 14, and now I work from home as a freelance editor. No matter what your work situation, balancing family needs with work is always a challenge.
I would be willing to write about those challenges; they don't go away when your kids get older- they just change.
Being a single mom with no support is also a struggle and should get some consideration.
:-)
In fact, I do have a job beyond caring for my children, but that's only part-time and I do most of it from home.
Whether a SAHM recognizes it or not, to say she's not a working mom is insulting. Sorry to have to raise my issues here in a comment section.
I would definitely be willing to write/share about my decisions.
I really appreciate your candor. I'm looking for moms currently balancing a career and motherhood. But that by no means does that dismiss the role of SAHM because that is the toughest job of them all!
Thanks for the offensive post, Stefanie. Nice job. Way to make SAHMs feel minimized in a public place.
I am working but not a mom. But I believe that SAHM isn't a job and as such I get tarred and feathered on a semi regular basis on here.
This area is one of my favorite to study in sociology, so as soon as this is up and running, I'll be sure to check back :)
But anyway, a very good bit of research on the subject of working mothers and their struggles to balance work and home life is The Second Shift by Arlie Russell Hochschild. My copy is starting to get a bit ragged from use :)
I honestly don't see why this is a big issue. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, or a working mom, so why is the stay at home mom sector on here so bitter about working mothers? I don't understand all the angst this topic brings.
Anyway, when I have a minute later, I'll post an article so I don't further crap up Stefanie's call for responses with my thoughts on the matter.
You have to ask yourself why does this topic make so many SAHM's angry. Why do you harbor such angst at working mothers? Do you wish for society to value SAHM over Working mothers? Because the arguments I see aren't "we want to be equal" it's "being a SAHM is harder than working". It isn't. Both have their perks and their hardships. So why the SAHM crowd on here gets so indignant when something that allows the working mothers to have a little bit of acknowledgment, really makes me wonder why?
Anyway, I'm bookmarking this to be able to follow the working mom's stories. Maybe people on here will eventually see that it isn't easier being a working mother than it is being a SAHM.
We should throw a party and celebrate! :) I have taken a BIG step back recently, in light of things, and I'm totally reading comments for what they are and not reading more into them! It's making things so much easier! LOL!
I'm not interested but I hope you find someone.
As a SAHM, I've felt that way too! Have had total strangers say very rude things to me in public, etc. Things like, "Oh, so you don't work," "What does your hubby think about you staying home." The works!
I know how it feels but I know that I made the right choice for my family and I'm proud of that! I also know that not every woman/mom has the ability or even the desire to stay home, it's a very personal choice! As you know!
So, perhaps maybe society, as a economic construct does value working mothers more. HOWEVER, society as a social construct values both equally because they serve their functions.
But you can't call SAHM a career, because you have no formal training for it. There is no PhD program (or any degree program for that matter) for SAHMothering. It isn't a career, it is a live choice.
NOTHING is wrong with that. Why get riled up over words?
what a joke for the SAHM moms who get so offended when someone doesnt include them as a "working mom". so what does that make mothers like me who work outside the home and do all of the motherly duties that some SAHM moms like to throw in everyone's faces? supermoms?
and i can even go one better. im a second grade teacher and one of my students is also my daughter.
does that make me superdupermom?
(and even 'unskilled' labor such as fast food and such, has some sort of formal training. I forgot to cover that base above before someone says I don't think non-degree careers aren't careers lol).
Sherry, no one said anything bad about SAHM...looks like you started the argument here.
I have done both, and I didn't see anything wrong with the request being made.
I believe it's a lifelong commitment to become a PARENT, regardless of being a SAHM, working mom, or a SAHF or working father. Maybe that's why this "debate" bothers me so much.
It is never easy. There is always so much to do; I love being self-employed, because it gives me a little more flexibility with the kids and home. But it is never easy.
I would love to share how I've managed over the last 20 years.
I have been a stay at home mother. Then I worked part-time, went to school full-time, and still managed to help out at my kids' schools once in a while. Then I had two jobs outside the home and kids and a house to take care of. Then I got a fulltime job and had the kids and house to deal with too. I think I've done it all.
I am a working Mom that chose to work from home to better balance my family schedule and my own sanity. After working in a newsroom as a reporter and coping with sick kids, crazy editors, long hours and too much fast food, I decided to take my chances as a freelance writer. Fortunately, I had enough contacts to get established. For the past three years I have worked from home accepting freelance assignments, selling my work to editors and writing on a contract basis for a regional newspaper. While I do not go out to work every day, I do face many of the same challenges and a few different challenges than Moms that work outside the home.
The laundry and dirty dishes haunt me at times when I am on deadline. School vacation weeks are challenging and I have burnt several meals while taking an important phone call or conducting a phone interview.
I have two teenage boys that need to be driven to sporting events, theater rehearsals, friends' homes, concerts and even driving lessons. Because I work from home I can do most of this, but there are times when I have to enlist help just like any other working Mom.
The downside is that lack of social interaction and idea sharing. Some days I just need to bounce ideas of some one and I end up going to the library to talk to the librarian. I use Gather as a social exchange and usually warm up my brain with a few word games once the school bus has departed.
I could make more money working on staff, but overall I am pleased with my work and family arrangement and would rather have the extra time with my kids.
Keep in mind that every mom is a working mom. Some get paychecks, but all moms work.
I loved being a SAHM, but when I did work, my husband and I worked different shifts. It was not that we couldn't afford child care, but we wanted to raise our own children. It was important to have at least one of us with our child and have routines and constancy.
I would love the opportunity to write about my transition from working outside the home to working at home. It gives me greater flexibility and the chance to spend more time with my family. In ten years, I made three major career changes to accommodate my changing needs as a woman, mother and homeowner. I certainly have plenty of experiences and insight to share :)
The biggest difference I see about working outside the home and not...you get to go to the bathroom when you want. Hope I didn't gross anyone out.
I worked outside the home fulltime until my oldest two were 2 and 4...then worked outside the home 3 days a week until they were 6 and 8. Since then, I have worked fulltime outside the home...sometimes weekends and evenings, too.
I am open-minded about writing about it. My daughters are now 17-19-21.
And, Heather, I have to say that the hardest job and the most rewarding is being a stay at home mom. I hope you have the opportunity to experience that one day.
Meanwhile, for those who are SAHMs it is very offensive to insinuate that they do not work. We're always looking for ways to speak appropriately about race and enthnicity and sexual preference and religion, so as to not offend. Why is it that SAHMs are not given the same respect for their feelings?
Does this count? I work weekends and am off during the weekdays to get my kids to school, get them breakfast, and help with homework after school.
And, on Saturday and Sunday I work in a restaurant. I make breakfast, (omelets, fried eggs, basically I'm a cook)
My hubby pitches in and watches them while I work.
So, it's pretty much give and take in my household.
I sometimes wonder because of the financial strain nowadays caused by one parent working, and the other thinking they are saving childcare, if guilt does not alter their own opinion way down deep inside..On the other hand, those who have chosen a career have a certain amount of guilt for working outside the home. I did. I missed a lot and could do nothing about it. I had to work being a single mom. There were periods when I could not.
When I stayed home I felt good, and was able to enjoy many situations that when I was working I missed on a daily basis.
What gets this me the most, and I do not know the ages of some of the those who have commented. How can Stefani be offensive in this post? It is a simple question about a real life situation some mothers deal with.. She did not infere one was better than the other. She did propose a debate. She offered a forum for those WHO do work outside the home to participate in telling how they make it work, and that was all . Except to share with her sister "working momss" and why anyone would turn a specific question into an arguement about the value of human beings time while at home , or on the job. The quality of the "mom" and her values was not even questioned. It was just about tips to make life easier for working moms..
What if she had asked about the best way to provide a quality lunch if you take it everyday, or how we prevent dry skin for crying out loud..It is sad that someone who offered a forum for the moms who work, and that is a fact of life, some have to, is on the block. This is really sad.. I am now retired, and had she told me it was just for "current" working moms, I would have understood that I may be to far out of the spectrum of what she wanted to know to help working moms know, sharing tips, getting to know one another here on Gather, and perhaps meeting someone who understood them way better than ever thought.. This was a sad read in many way, and exactly why women are considered way too touchy about situations, who listen to the media captialize on situations that are way past the "Waltons" and "and Leave IT to Beaver". I really feel for her, and it is appalling that she was called offensive over a simple offer about ONE situation that can cause stress in womens life today..It is real, she did not ask for debate, it concerned working moms and that was that..How do you know? Perhaps the forum for women who do not work may have been around the corner. I do remember the nerves, the worry involved when I worked, Was everyone ok? Was the time when they got home till I did , was it taken care of, and on and on,, Sad, Sad, and Sad.. What a way to help one another in todays world, and feel in control..You are alright Stefani, but I know you know that, you do not need someone to defend you, or make your post clear, but I just had to let you know, as one who has done both, that your idea is a good one, and I wish I could have had access to such a forum, and heard from other working moms in my day, outside of my little circle of friends. Which many times turns into a way to vent with no progress or help really offered other than to blow off steam. I hope that this idea goes ahead, and those who just cannot stick to the question, not elabortate into other areas, just do not come..That should be a seperate article if they feel this battle between women exists. ANd that is just what we need in the day and age..ANd yes, I have family in this situation, and if not a participant, I was looking forward to learining what others may know that my daughter-in=law may not... Ellen B
As for me, I have raised my two daughters, on my own, for over 15 years. No support. Just me. It has been a very difficult journey, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
I have no idea how I balance everything. Some days I am just exhausted. Perhaps I do manage it all because I must. No choice.
Now that my girls are older (one in college), it really didn't get easier. However, I have found time to volunteer at a women's shelter nearby.
Anywho, I guess I don't fit into the mold here, but I do have a lot of experience balancing a career and balancing a family life as a parental figure while still trying to maintain a sisterly bond. There is no easy way to get it all done, but I do it.
I work away from the home full time. I'm mom to a teenager, a toddler, and I'm pregnant. Sure, I'd write about my life.
Stephanie, I for one would love to read how Kimber L juggles all she has going on. Last summer my husband and I coached a 13 player baseball team 5-6 year olds. it was tough to juggle full time jobs and then coach in the evening and have supper, baths and homework done.
Kimber has her hands full.