2.ÂÂ Never purchase the less expensive toilet locks.
3.ÂÂ Don't rely on the double-stick tape for the appliance locks.ÂÂ Use epoxy purchased from Home Depot.
4.ÂÂ Never leave said epoxy in a room a toddler has access to, because toddler locks are worthless.
5.ÂÂ Drawer handles make great ladder rungs.
6.ÂÂ The Thomas wooden toys make great circular patterns when flushed down a toilet (see rule 2 for how Thomas got in there).
7.ÂÂ When toilet locks are properly installed, look for open pieces of drain pipe.ÂÂ Toys make a cool "swoosh" and satisfying "thud" when dropped down the washing machine drain pipe.
8.ÂÂ Keep disconnecting the washing machine drain pipe - it's a great source of water fun!ÂÂ Especially when mommy hasn't noticed yet and then the machine rumbles and LOTS of water comes out!
9.ÂÂ Aim your balloons at the ceiling fans.ÂÂ WOW!ÂÂ Not only do the balloons go haywire, but so does mommy!
10.ÂÂ After said balloons have exploded, try throwing things up there to see where they'll zoom off to.
11.ÂÂ Door locks are just as worthless as toddler safeties.ÂÂ More so, actually, because they're easier to grasp.
12.ÂÂ Don't waste your time trying to potty.ÂÂ The little seat ring makes a great hat!
13.ÂÂ The potty trainer makes a fantastic step stool.
14.ÂÂ Toys make great step stools too.
15.ÂÂ Laptop computers bounce on hardwood floors.
16.ÂÂ iPods bounce more than laptop computers.
17.ÂÂ Cell phones bounce the highest, AND make noises and possibly spark!ÂÂ But they only spark once.
18.ÂÂ Washable crayons are for the little sister to eat.ÂÂ Go for the Sharpies, so your artistic masterpieces will have staying power.
19.ÂÂ Oxi-clean needs to market a 5-gallon bucket.
20.ÂÂ Cats are tasty.
21.ÂÂ Taste the cats AFTER mom has trimmed their claws.
22.ÂÂ The cat tree makes a great makeshift jungle gym.
23.ÂÂ Wait for mommy to bolt down the cat tree.ÂÂ Less timeouts.
24.ÂÂ Baby gates can easily be climbed over - use said toilet trainer as a step stool.
25.ÂÂ Turn the oven dials.ÂÂ It gets mommy's attention.
26.ÂÂ Push the dishwasher buttons.ÂÂ It gets mommy's attention.
27.ÂÂ Play-doh scisors are the warmup for the real thing in that supposedly locked kitchen drawer.
28.ÂÂ Play-doh knives are the warmup for the real thing in that supposedly locked kitchen drawer.
29.ÂÂ Test all appliance locks.ÂÂ Mommy might not have had time to epoxy them ALL yet.
30.ÂÂ Don't stack blocks.ÂÂ Stack your toys and use it as a ladder to try and grab the blades of the ceiling fan.
31.ÂÂ The emergency room is 10 minutes away.
32.ÂÂ An ambulance can get to the emergency room in 1 minute.
33.ÂÂ It takes 12 minutes for the ambulance to get to our house.
34.ÂÂ You can make rain in the hallway - toss buckets of water over the side of the tub.
35.ÂÂ outlet safety covers are easy to get off.ÂÂ Only mommy can't.
36.ÂÂ If mommy didn't use the drill to install it, it's removable.
37.ÂÂ Cats don't eat marshmallows.
38.ÂÂ Cats don't like anything put up their butt.
39.ÂÂ Bactine does sting.
40.ÂÂ Daddy doesn't like your band-aids on his hairy chest.
41.ÂÂ Mommy can't nap if you take all the pillows away.ÂÂ Yank HARD to get the one her head is on.
42.ÂÂ Pasta makes a cool thud on the sliding glass door.
43.ÂÂ Alfredo sauce is warm finger paint.
44.ÂÂ Marinara sauce works too - but you won't get it after you finger paint the couch with it.
45.ÂÂ You can make your yucky food disappear by putting it on the line on the table, and then pulling on the handle under the table.ÂÂ The table opens up and swallows all the yucky food!
46.ÂÂ The dish towel on the refrigerator door handle makes a GREAT swing.
47.ÂÂ After swinging on the dish towel, mommy will unlock the freezer and put an ice pop on your head!
48.ÂÂ Cats don't like ice pops.
49.ÂÂ Melted ice pops change your baby sister's skin color.
50.ÂÂ If you're going to get yelled at, run up and hug and kiss mommy.ÂÂ Then you won't get yelled at.
51.ÂÂ Daddy's a sucker for this technique too.
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Comments: 20
P.S. You have to get this published somewhere else, too!!
(I have three boys, ages 15, 18, and 20.....and miraculously, their parents are still alive and breathing!)
i will soon be going through them again. i just had a baby 11 months ago and i have started all over again..........lol
my little one is a the stage that he can walk, and he is getting into everything.
so lets see what stuff he can do to top his older brothers