Eddie's Choice

"So what's on your minds, guys?" It was a really open-ended question to ask a group of incarcerated teenage boys, and the range of answers I got pretty much lived up to my expectations;

"Eatin' Pizza;"

"Girls;"

"Eatin' Pizza with girls!"

There were a few other topics that I am probably better off leaving to your imagination.

Josh White, Jr. and I were working our way through the first session of a new idea we were developing, helping severely troubled young people explore some of their deepest feelings by writing and performing folk and blues songs. At the time we were calling the program "Project Roots," referring to the fact that traditional folk and blues, or "roots music," forms the foundation on which all other American music is built.

On that day we were not really sure where to start, because nobody else had ever tried to do exactly what we were doing. I had been running creative writing workshops at this facility for nearly two years and some of these boys had been in at least one of my groups. They all knew me. This was a big advantage, since I had already had a chance to earn their trust - and trust is something that never comes easy for these kids.

So we were throwing ideas around and I was sorting through them, looking for something that might suggest a song. Then one of the boys said, "I'm getting out pretty soon. I don't really know what's going to happen after that." In a group of kids who have been locked up, some of them for a pretty big chunk of their young lives, I had found this a fairly common source of conversation.

But listening to them on that day, I began to realize that they were really talking about choices. You see, when you're locked up, "The System" makes all your decisions for you - when to wake up, when to eat, when to sleep, when to read, even when to visit the toilet. Most of these kids were working hard to truly come to grips with the idea that they were locked up because of their own bad choices.

So what was eating at them was the idea that they would be making choices again, some of them for the first time in years. And for most of them, their next bad choice would land them in prison, for real and maybe forever.

I jumped on it. "Let's write some blues," I said, "about a guy getting out of this place."

We created a character and named him "Eddy." Then, working through every word as a team, we began to tell Eddie's story;

Eddie's gone tonight at midnight,
They're about to kick him out that door.
He's got a sweatshirt, shoes and blue jeans,
A plan, and nothing more.

And we wrote a chorus;

In and out of locked doors
Same old song and dance
This time's got to be different
Ain't gonna be another chance.

As the story goes, Eddie heads down to the bus stop, where his brother is going to pick him up. When he arrives, there is a "gnarled and dusty man" waiting for him. The old man tells him,"I've got some things to say, and I've been savin' you a seat."

Eddy is not real interested in the ramblings of this drifter, but the old man persists;

You know, that ride that's coming for you,
You been in that car before
You might have won some battles
But you're bound to lose the war.

And later, after having Eddie tell him that, "Until you've been locked up, you'll never know just what it's like;"

The old man smiles and says,
"I walked some miles in your shoes
I played it all the hard way.
Now all I have is blues."

The implication is that the old man is one possible Eddie, from years down the line, come back to deliver a warning. This is how the boys wrapped up the song they decided to call "Eddie's Choice:"

Eddie's ride pulls up
And he starts to walk away
But with his hand on the car door
He stops and looks the old man's way - and he says;

"In and out of locked doors
Same old song and dance
This time's got to be different
Ain't gonna be another chance."

Maybe, just maybe, this time can be different.

Copyright © 2009, Michael Ball

Project Roots was initially developed at the WJ Maxey Boys Training School in Whitmore Lake Michigan and the Adrian Girls Training Center in Adrian, MI with funding from the National Endowment for the Arts through the Michigan Humanities Council and the Michigan Council for Arts and Cultural Affairs, along with the Northfield Township Library. Lost Voices is an independent 501(c)3 formed in 2007 to continue and expand this work nation-wide. You can make a donation to Lost Voices or get more information online at lostvoices.org.

What I've Learned So Far... by Mike Ball is a syndicated feature distributed exclusively by North Star Writers Group. If you enjoy this work, please contact your local newspaper's editors and ask them to carry it.