Finding my "Eye"

Often you hear of people talk of finding their "Unique voice".  I can relate to this as a person who hid my voice after negative comments from an elementary teacher.  How did I respond to this negativism?  I burned all of my writing and picked up a camera.

 For years I lugged my Pentax around, even wearing special pants that had pockets on each leg large enough to store different lenses.  My camera was like another arm.  Just as it seemed I was getting somewhere with my photography life threw a surprise my way.  My health faltered, my eyes went bad, my once steady arms shook and I had to dismantle my darkroom because I couldn't be near chemicals.

For almost a decade my life was sitting in a blue recliner attached to numerous medical machines.  My "voice" burst forth.  Joy filled my world again. My world enlarged and  I jumped out of the chair, even gave it away because I didn't want the negative energy in our house. 

Every once in awhile when I saw someone with a camera I felt a tinge of regret.  In fact I caught myself visualizing photos just as I had once visualized stories while I worked in the darkroom. 

My dear husband Shan got me exactly the camera I wanted for a birthday gift.  I wanted a small one I could always have with me.  Well, my tremors still existed and all of my photos looked like they belonged in an impressionist gallery.  So, I gave up, decided it wasn't meant to be.

Several years ago life intervened and I was asked to take photos at a day camp.  I balked, they all insisted I could do it.  Pride took over and good technology saved me.  I was offered a camera that had image stabilization.  I had the time of my life challenging myself again.  My "eye" was returning.

This summer we splurged and got the exact same style of camera I used at the camp.  Slowly I've gained confidence.  During our vacation the camera traveled with me, not in pockets in my pants but in my purse. 

The more photos I took the happier I've been.  I can once again write with light!  My "eye" has returned. 

(I'm going to try to include some of my recent photos and would love your honest comments.  I'm much stronger and can handle them now!)