Ever Feel Like You're Wallpapering Fog?

 I am reminded of an interesting fact I heard some time ago.   It takes an entire year for a crew to clean and repaint the Golden Gate Bridge.  When they are done, it is time to start over at the beginning.  Upkeep and repair on the massive bridge is in a constant state.  Raising kids is kind of like that.  Just when you think you've got things in order, it's time to start all over.  You clean the living room, and by the time you are finished with the kitchen, Hurricane Offspring has come behind you and undone it all.  It's as frustrating as wallpapering fog. 

I spent an hour cleaning the bedroom shared by my nine and four year old sons, and in the process I found many, many broken toys I would have previously sworn were unbreakable.  I filled three large trash bags.  This is after my sons assured me their room was "clean."  I go through this process about every four months, and the results are usually the same.  

I sorted laundry, and upon setting a laundry basket of clothes on my elder sons bed, the mattress flew up, nearly rendering me unconscious.  Apparently three inch bolts attached to the solid oak frame aren't a large enough deterrent when young boys need a sword.  The support beams had been replaced on mutiple occasions, with stronger screws, then bolts, with admonishments to "leave them the hell alone!"   To no avail.  I replaced their $300 bunk bed with two $7 sleeping bags.  It's safer that way. 

I learned this week that Crayola Washable Markers aren't.  Package of Markers: 97 cents  Rug Doctor: $80 Rug Shampoo: $18 The Look of Consternation on my husband's face when spot doesn't budge: priceless

My children are spending the week at a friends house in order to give me time to clean and organize without them underfoot.  I thought, "Ah!  I can sleep late, stay up late, and enjoy some peace and quiet."  Footnote:  Peace and Quiet are overrated.  

I find myself at a loss with what to do with myself.  I cheated and went to visit the kiddos three times already.  I did see a couple of movies, went out with friends, and of course attempted to tackle the goal of the neglected housework.  We went without air conditioning until right before the heat wave hit here, and many of the uglier tasks were ignored.  I did mow the lawn, and after an hour in triple digit heat, I promptly threw up.   No more work was attempted that night. 

I bought a new desk and matching entertainment center to replace the old crooked ones, and in the process of putting them together and organizing the living room, I found children have ingenious hiding places for half eaten sandwiches and apple cores.   No wonder my VCR doesn't work.

All of my daughter's missing toys were in my sons' room, my missing ballet slipper was in the refrigerator,  and my calculator was under the sink.  With my home now neat and organized, I hold false hope that Hurricane Offspring will be tamed into a mild tropical storm, and I will remember that raising children is an ongoing process of frustration and reward.  All will be well.  At least until I have to shell out $400 to have a transformer removed from the toilet.