I'm cleaning your mouth out with soap?

Don't hate me. But I find bad words in little tiny voices funny.

As a parent, I am fully aware, if my kids cuss, it's because they're hearing it FROM me, their dad, or the other older human beings in their lives. So it's a teaching moment about where and when it's ok, and when it isn't, but I'm sooo not concerned by it if they try it out at home.

So many times, it is just trying out a word they heard somewhere, to gauge adult reaction and "try it on for size." By not giving it any energy at all (hiding my inner amusement, as well) unless they've said it in public, they move on to the next one. My daughter hasn't actually ever repeated more than one or two of them, and the ones she has said more than once, she hasn't said more than a handful of times. This works for me.

I have an almost six year old girl and two boys under the age of 2. We'll see how it works as the boys get bigger. ;)

I've never had mine say anything either but I always thought if they did I would have to do something about it. I would just warn them first and then do time out or take away a toy or something.

My parents did this to me once or maybe it was my sister or sisters but I didn't like it much then. So I don't think I would use this punishment on mine just for that reason really.

I don't have any children yet either, but I didn't even know that it was bad for the kids if you washed the mouth out with soap. Good information!

My grandfather did this to my mother when she was a child, and she remembers it still. Can you imagine how that would feel?

Luckily my daughter doesn't say bad words yet. Though I'm dreding the fact that she knows the word no. I don't agree with having your mouth washed out with soup. Here's the things that I had to do. I've had my mouth washed out with soup, hot pepper shoved in my mouth, I've been smacked across the face and forced to write bible versus over a thousand times each. I don't reccomend any of those options.

The spitting in a toliet sounds better to me. I can't offer more than that.Sorry.

My husband put tobasco sauce on my son's tongue

Pretty awful and humiliating, I imagine.

My mom liked to threaten with it, for sass more than cussing.

Considering some families started doing this when lye was an ingredient in soaps... that would have been pretty dangerous, right there.

My parents tried tobasco sauce on me, but then I turned around and drank the bottle and asked for more, so that did not work. lol I love and always have hot things.
What I have seen works from friends that have kids; removing toys for a time period with the explanation of why, explanations of why not to say them, time outs, and when the others do not work swats. Slapping a kids face for cussing is something you just do not do. I can remember the pain and the swollen face from that myself. But always the commone issue was with what ever punishment you used, the explaination was always the most important.

I swat there but. Yes I know... Child abuse, but I don't hurt them... they just look at me funny (oh and I only do it if they are saying it repeatedly, not just the first or second time). Once when I was a teenager I sit t for a couple who did use soap and they told me to put a drop of dish soap on there sons mouth if he cursed, well he wouldn't stop all night "f this and every word you could imagine", but I really felt bad and never put the soap in his mouth, well later that night he was in the tub and I seen him run through the kitchen naked so I went to go look and he got the dish soap down and was eating it! It turns out he was swearing because he wanted to eat it!!

As I was searching on this article I read about Tabasco sauce too and found out that kids have been going to hospital with their esophagus burned. So I don't think that is the right approach either.

All kids are different though and so are parents. Let's remember that our method of discipline are no better than anyone elses. We aren't here to make anyone feel bad. I was just trying to get people to know the consequences of this type of discipline so they don't accidently hurt their children.

It's hard to raise great kids. There is no handbook and we all have our ways that work.

When Tristian started trying to cuss I told him that he could not do that until he was as big as mommy and daddy so now he says that he can't wait to grow up so he can say bad words.

Jeana - I can't believe he liked to eat it. I can't imagine why.

I don't do anything about it if we are home and it's just family. Who cares?

If we are in public or around people who might be offended, I give a verbal reminder about those words not being appropriate and the reason(s) why.

I can't imagine using any form of punishment for what they obviously learned from an adult in the first place.

Aubrey, a very good point!
I would say about the soap, from what you said, that if your kid has a high allergic history, that it would be more of a risk than for one that did not. I don't have kids, but have helped raise my neices and nephews, and can say from that limited experience that it is different for each kid.

"All kids are different though and so are parents. Let's remember that our method of discipline are no better than anyone elses. "

Do you honestly believe that?

I wouldn't go that far, myself, as obviously some parents feel it is perfectly "ok" to do things that horrify the general public as extreme abuse (referencing newstories such as the family who forced a child to drink water until she died, another who kept children in cages, and so on).

I agree with Andrea 100%, and cursing isn't a problem I really have with my kids, which is odd considering I curse like a sailor. Old habits die hard. My oldest son, however, did have an issue with sass, and I didn't want to put soap in his mouth so I used lime juice. One mention of the words and back talking ceases to this day, some 5 yrs later. I only had to use it once.

My grandmother use to make us take a bite of one of those hot red peppers she grew.

Ok...Lune. I don't honestly believe that totally. There are the times when I say I can't believe that she or he is doing that to their kid. But for the sake of gather. I was just stating that so know gets there feelings hurt in the process of this.

I have a large family 5 sisters and 1 brother and this is something we all fight about over and over again. How we raise our children. It's just not for us to judge if there method is better than ours. For personal reasons I just try not to get into things like this. I do have my opinions and if I stated everything I think I would not have many friends or family.

Just checking. ;)

Ellynn - My son would love that. He loves lemon, lime, pickle, olive juice.

So just for the record I don't think it's good for children to use bad language. We don't use it here in our house so I don't have any issues with my kid talking like that. Except when we are around family. He picks it up from t.v., movies and family and such. he knows though that it's not language we use. He will even tells me if he hears someone talking like that. He's only 8 years old and I'm proud of him for not wanting to talk like that. It's just not nice.

Lune - Thanks for asking. Sometimes I don't share because nobody ever asks.

"We don't use it here in our house so I don't have any issues with my kid talking like that. Except when we are around family. He picks it up from t.v., movies and family and such. he knows though that it's not language we use. "

They're such smart little cookies. I think in general they see that without much problem, that mom and dad don't, or when and where mom and dad do cuss.

I started watching my own language when we had kids, more for the sake of not having a 2 year old swearing like a sailor in the grocery store and horrifying the other shoppers. I still slip, occasionally, and I notice with my daughter, she's trying it out in perfect context for when I would and have slipped up.

one mother actually killed her son when he had a reaction to the bar of soap!

my dad one called some one a stupid f'er (youll figure out the word) my son had the window down in the car calling everyone that walked or drove past a stupid f'er. it was summer so ever car that went by had their windows down. :( i could not get him to shut up.

I got the soap all the time. I wasn't always lucky enough for the liquid, though, and sometimes just had to take a bite out of a bar of soap and chew it and swallow it. A friend of mine, though, was forced to eat an entire bar of Lava soap with the little crunchies in it. He had to eat the entire thing and carry it with him until it was gone. It took days, and his tongue was raw and peeled by the time he finished. His mouth was bloody. Someone called CPS and his parents were in biiiig trouble...

Your story blows me away, Samantha. I can't imagine thinking that was a thing to do, not realizing something not made for human consumption might NOT be a good idea to force a child to eat.

I will say that MY KIDS DIDN'T LEARN THOSE WORDS FROM ME! My husband and I don't use any of the 4 letter words...my kids picked up the words from school and other people's children.

I'm happy to say that my 14 yr. old doesn't use them, or at least not in my hearing range. Most of his friends do not either, as far as I've heard...most of the parents we hang around with do not use them.

My 10 yr. old has asked me what particular words mean but as far as I've heard hasn't used them. We've just always stressed that those words are not acceptable in our house.

I'm not sure how this method worked, but I remember that my mom and aunt (twins) would get in trouble ALL the time. Grandma used to make them sit backwards on the toilet and stare at the wall for hours in complete silence. I have no clue how that happened because eventually someone would need to go to the bathroom, but apparently it was torture enough...

I had my mouth washed out with lava soap when I was a kid and I live to tell about it.

I tattled on my brother for saying sh*t, so we both got the soap. Tattling was frowned upon by my parents, just as swearing was.

Capsaicin, which is the chemical in red pepper and tabasco, is also not good for kids under a certain age (I think 5?).

It all comes down to common sense, doesn't it? I've used soap. My oldest son used to scream like I was beating him with a baseball bat when I swiped a bar of soap across his tongue. My daughter likes the taste of it, and will pretend she's eating dessert - and she's got the sassiest mouth out of all 3 of my kids. With her I ended up having to put a drop of Red Devil (Tabasco) sauce or a jalapeño seed on her tongue. Even then it only works so much before she just gets mad about it.

Grounding, loss of privileges, spanking, talking, writing assignments, standing with their noses touching the wall for 5-10 minutes at a time, extra chores, calisthenics - whatever works. It's hard, and none of them are the same. All 3 of mine are as different as can be, and what worked on one has never worked on either of the other two. But it's just a matter of staying calm and carrying out the appropriate discipline regularly and without feeling guilty about it.

Thank you for this information - some children may be susceptible to allergic reactions in soaps. I expect that it would really be true for some of the soaps with more scents in them.

I did not have much of this problem until my boys started riding the school bus....so I banned all their favorite treats for the rest of the day the first time - for 2 days the second time and so on - they learn real quick - if they want a yummy snack not to say offensive things. We also discussed the words and gave them a vocabulary lesson they could understand so that they knew WHY the word was offensive.

Okay, coming from the old school of getting a swipe of soap on my tongue broke me of saying anything that I wouldn't say in Sunday School.

Unfortunately, when my kids were little I followed the same method for a while. It wasn't 'eating' soap. I took a drop of liquid soap and put it on a spoon and gave them the choice, if you are going to say more bad words you are going to have to lick the spoon. Our youngest chose to lick the spoon. Our oldest never said a curse word until she was in her teens (that we heard). Our youngest got to the point of bringing us a spoon and the Palmolive Dish Washing liquid and would say "I said a bad word." I stopped. I figured if I ignored the problem instead of giving her soap (which was disgusting and totally wrong) she would realize some day what words were not to be used. By ignoring her and not making a big deal out of it, she stopped saying the 'bad' words. She remembers the soap to this day (she's 28) and it wasn't even a drip. I still feel bad about it and to do over would NEVER do it again.

I just talk to my kids and tell them not to say the bad words. They usually listen.

I never had a problem with my daughters vocabulary because I don't get angry with her when she uses bad words. When she does, I tell her to watch her language. I can't get too upset because I use swear words more often than she does, therefore, it's largely my fault

It's all very interesting to me that we all have heard about this and/or had to do it too. It's amazing how something like this has gone on and on for generations.

I hope that somehow my article helped in some way. It's certainly has opened my eyes up.

Thanks for all the comments.

My oldest daughter is almost 5 now and picks up alot of words,not just bad ones, from everywhere.She's spouted out things that confound me.My resolution is to ask if she's know's what the word means.In doing this I find that most of the time the answer is "no", and then I give a simple definition to help her comprend what it is she just said.In most cases if she's said something bad she doesn't even know it was bad till i explain to her why.Once she understands what the word means and why it's bad she chooses not to use the word again.The only word I've had real dificulty with is the word hate.It is a word used way to commonly in our society and a word with a complicated definition, because of it's deeply rooted emotional connection.However, case and point, children are born innocent.They only become courpted by things they observe.I don't think soap is the answer at all.I firmly believe that the key is giving our children the tools they need to make the right decision and then teaching them to use those tools properly.

Watch Super Nanny. Washing kids mouths out with soap is inappropriate, even though we may have experienced it as children. This could be seen as abuse and could make them sick.

I have a very foul mouth. I swear way too much. So I can't exactly do anything bad to my kids when they do it. For me, swearing is just using another adjective when I can't find anything to better explain myself. Or when I am really angry. It just feels good to me to be able to yell a horrible word out loud when I am mad. I have tried cutesy words to replace it but it just doesn't have the same effect.
Kids don't know when and when not to say things like that. So I explain that certain times it is inappropriate. Even my 3 year old has figured out for the most part when to not say bad things. Really, why is it suddenly ok for someone who is 18 to say it but a younger child cannot? It's not exactly a right of passage. And if not when they are 18, when and how do you decide when it is appropriate?
I remember my mom used to swear a lot when I was little. I immediately knew, even when I was really young that it wasn't appropriate for me to ever say those words. So I only used them when I was sure I wouldn't get in to trouble! I remember being 6 or 7 and riding the bus and dropped my lunchbox on the floor, where it slid to the back of the bus. I yelled "Sh*t!" and my nearby busmates all dropped their jaws. That was embarassing. Otherwise I only said bad words at camp, where everyone swore because young and old children were mixed a lot and a lot of my friends were older.

As for what to do if your kid talks back to you...that I am not sure of.