My First Pow on PERcival HarPER-PERthuis

The HyPER PERformance of PERcival HarPER-PERthuis who was Otherwise PERfect 

I met PERcy (or PERcival, as his upPER class mother PERcilla PERsisted was the only way to get proPER PERquisites) while resting from a PERforated upPER bowel after PERitonitis.  I PERceived him PERambulating by the PERgola in the PERennial garden where I PERched in its PERvasive PERiwinkle PERfume and the shade of the PERsimmon tree. He likewise PERceived me, in his PERipheral vision, and PERhaps PERplexed by my PERoxided and PERmanented hair ceased his PERegrinations.  He barked in a PERcussive way, “PERmit me to ask if you have PERnicious PERtussis.” PERtly I replied, “PERish the thought!” and simPERed, “I once had AsPERgillosis, but never PERtussis”

PERcy PERused me from my PERky hairdo PERpendicularly down to my slipPERs. “My PERception is that you are a nice PERson. Have supPER with me at PERbacco, we’ll have aPERitifs of PERnod, then PERogies or kipPERs,” he said. I nearly scarPERed but he was PERsuasive and obviously PERceptive.

But at supPER he was a PERisher. His PERorations on the PERiodic table and PERcentages scupPERed our relationship and nearly turned me to PERmafrost. ImPERvious to my PERceptions, he PERsisted in PERemptory fashion, “PERjury, PERdition, PERlite, PERspex”  “You’re hyPER and have flipped your topPER. You can go to PERdition” said I, zipPERed my coat and put on my capPER, “I’ll call a copPER

“No, no” said PERcy in a whimPER, “AmPERsand, PERipatetic, PERcolate, PERquacky” He held out a paPER which I PERused.  It read, “I’ve got AsPERger’s Syndrome. It makes me a PERpetual PERpetrator and given to hyPERbole. Emotions hamPER me. I sound imPERtinent but I’m not a PERvert.  Don’t let this be a damPER”

He took a pill and a sip from the dipPER, a deep breath and got down on one knee.  “With your PERky PERoxided PERmanent you look like a flapPER, but I think that’s suPER. I’m not PERkin Warbeck, PERicles or mythical HyPERion but I get a ripPER of a ‘ PER diem’. You’d make a PERfect Mrs PERcival HarPER-PERthuis. Say yes quickly PERforce, PERcilla  has a snooPER behind an aPERture of the PERimeter to imPERil our union.” Then he placed a PERidot ring on my finger.

Well, I was nothing if not PERspicacious –

We honeymooned in PERu in a camPER.

 Definitions (not necessarily in alphabetical  order) 

As•per•ger's syndrome(spr-grz) n.A psychiatric disorder, most often noted during the early school years, characterized by impairments in social interaction and repetitive behavior patterns.  

as•per•gil•lo•sis(spr-j-lss) n.An infection or disease caused by fungi of the genus Aspergillus

 per•i•pa•tet•ic(pr-p-ttk)  adj.1.         Walking about or from place to place; traveling on foot. 

Perbacco – restaurant in San Francisco 

per•emp•to•ry(p-rmpt-r) adj.1. Putting an end to all debate or action: a peremptory decree.2. Not allowing contradiction or refusal; imperative: The officer issued peremptory commands.3. Having the nature of or expressing a command; urgent: The teacher spoke in a peremptory tone.4. Offensively self-assured; dictatorial: a swaggering, peremptory manner 

per•o•rate(pr-rt) intr.v. per•o•rat•ed, per•o•rat•ing, per•o•rates 1. To conclude a speech with a formal recapitulation.2. To speak at great length, often in a grandiloquent manner; declaim per•qui•site(pûrkw-zt) n.1. A payment or profit received in addition to a regular wage or salary, especially a benefit expected as one's due. See Synonyms at right.2. A tip; a gratuity.

3. Something claimed as an exclusive right:

 per•spi•ca•cious  (pûr sp -k  sh s)  adj. Having or showing penetrating mental discernment; clear-sighted. 

perisher - bounder  

per•di•tion(pr-dshn) n.1. a. Loss of the soul; eternal damnation.

b. Hell:

per•ni•cious  (p r-n sh  s)  adj. 1. a. Tending to cause death or serious injury; deadly:

b. Causing great harm; destructive:

per•tus•sis  (p r-t s  s) n. Whooping cough. 

Perquacky – family board game hy•per•bo•le(h-pûrb-l) n. A figure of speech in which exaggeration is used for emphasis or effect per•force  (p r-fôrs , -f rs ) adv. By necessity; by force of circumstance. 

Per•i•cles(pr-klz) Died 429 b.c.

Athenian leader noted for advancing democracy in Athens and for ordering the construction of the Parthenon.

Perkin Warbeck - onetime pretender to the throne of England

Hy·pe·ri·on(h-pîr-n) n.

1. Greek Mythology A Titan, the son of Gaea and Uranus and the father of Helios.