Our country is in the middle of a Chia Pet scandal that's worthy of your attention. You can't get Chia Obama at Walgreens. They have pulled the little clay heads off the shelves and will not be selling anything that may grow on Obama's head. But you can still find him online! You have a choice of the "determined face" Obama or the "happy faced" Obama.
Chia Obamas in Walgreens? No, they can't
|Tribune staff reporter,7:50 PM CDT, April 7, 2009
Walgreens has announced that the commander in chief will not sprout a Chia Afro on its shelves.
The Deerfield-based company has pulled Chia Obama after a one-week run. Robert Elfinger, a spokesman for Walgreens, said the chain was yanking the product from test markets in Tampa and Chicago.
"We decided to pull the product because it didn't fit with our corporate image," he said in a company statement. "We also didn't want to be subject to any misinterpretation over the product. People could interpret it through a political viewpoint or other viewpoints and we want to avoid that situation."
Elfinger says an AOL.com story early Tuesday misquoted him in reporting that customers had complained the product was "racist." "The word I used was "offensive," Elfinger said.
But wait! Columnist John Kass thinks Wal-Mart should pick up the line and even "sprouts" ideas for more choices, just in time for Springtime gardening for that politically active Chia gardener on your list!
With Chia Obama off shelf, so goes Hopium
John Kass, April 9, 2009
Actually, there are two Chia Obamas to choose from. The "Happy" head depicts Obama with an impish grin, the one he uses while shoveling trillions of your dollars into his federal wheelbarrow.
The "Determined" Chia Obama is of resolute mien, jaw forward, no nonsense, like when he told North Korea not to dare shoot off that missile.
So all America has to do is clip Hopium from either head to stop fretting about the economy and foreign policy. Then we all make that run for the brownie sundae.
Chia executives should remember that America was once the land of the free. They should fight back with a complete line of political Chia Pets and sell them at Wal-Mart.
Obama's head will come in a Democratic boxed set, with that of the boss of the Chicago machine, Mayor Richard Daley, who also has two heads: A "Benign" Chia Daley and "Chia-Chucky," wild hair sprouting in angry green wings from beet-red temples.
Don't forget Chia Rahm. All three may be placed so that their "hair" grows together, in a vast political topiary, the clinging vines pulling the heads closer, so their foreheads constantly touch, as in real life.
Also sold separately would be the head of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi—the terra cotta version much more flexible and lifelike than her actual face—and Vice President Joe Biden, hair in sparse green plugs (recommended only for expert Chia-cultivators).
Republicans will just love their Chia Cheney, the former vice president's glistening head requiring only sporadic buffing with lemon scented furniture polish (perfect for Chia newbies).
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Comments: 29
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ROFLOL!!! Spitting my drink out my nose!!!! =D =D
MyHotComments
Charles dear, I was marketing these at Christmas. They were selling great until the car accidents started. Apparently, there was a blinding glare caused by the flashing white teeth [damn things were too realistic].
Dropping by from THE JOKER