An article in Salon this week examines the gay community in MMOs, including the issue of gay marriage in virtual gaming space in Second Life, Lord of the Rings Online, WOW and other games.
My name is Shava, and I'm a gamer. ["Hi, Shava!"]
One of my great bugaboos in the gamer community is the derogatory use of the phrase "That's so gay!" (usually by young straight men) to indicate something that's too stupid or unfair or slack to be bourne.
I posted a complaint about this to the forums at Turbine's Lord of the Rings Online community, late at night a few weeks ago. About 2/3 of the respondents said, "Yes, this usage is unacceptable! We complain, people shout us down, but we will continue to complain."
About a third of the respondents ranged from "Get over yourself, sheesh, you PC idiots." to "Go to h* you c*s* f*s"
I was reading the responses at about 10am the next morning when suddenly the thread disappeared, *poof* -- deleted by the Turbine forum admins.
I complained to "Patience" (irl Meghan), the Turbine LOTRO community manager. Her response (in a private message on the forums) was:
We don't add gay to the profanity filter because gay is not a bad word; but we have and will hand out infractions and other appropriate disciplinary action for using it in a derogatory manner. The thread wouldn't have been deleted for what it was saying, but rather the way it derailed, as they nearly always do, into a discussion of homosexuality and the politics thereof. Believe me, your thread was not the first; nor will it be the last
Additionally, we have vigorously defended the rights of LGBT-friendly kinships to exist and post recruitment threads on the forums, and will continue to do so.
For the record, we don't delete the threads. We move them to a forum for archiving. From past experience it's been clear that if we just lock it, people start new ones.
My appeal to her to post this policy on the forums or in their knowledge base has garnered no response.
This is a classic example of the sort of support for diversity that exists in the largely libertarian gaming community. There are unconstitutionally vague covenants regarding behavior, but it's laid on the backs of activist community members to stick out their necks socially to police behavior.
I am sure every day that there are GLBT gamers who are hurt and intimidated by this kind of language by other gamers in public channels. But it often takes someone like me, a 48 year old bisexual woman who hasn't had a relationship with a female for...well, let's not count years shall we...? It takes someone like me, who cares but isn't really the target, to defend the folks who are likely afraid to take the brunt of being shouted down, once again.
I believe that using the derogatory phrase "that's so gay" or "dude, don't queer out on me" or the rest of the repetoire should be as unacceptable as saying "don't jew me on this deal" or "don't be such a dumb n*."
But it will take gamers making it very clear -- and very public -- that this is not acceptable, before the gaming companies will take the social risk of defining gay bashing as socially unacceptable.
What to do? Talk to the young gamers in your life. Talk to the gaming companies. Write letters to gaming zines, web sites. Post on forums. Raise consciousness in the gay community that this issue is a serious front on the conditioning of youth to gay culture.
There are things you can do, and I hope you will!
--
Shava Nerad, News and Opinion Correspondent:
Shava’s column, Iconoclasm, published several times a week to Gather Essentials: Newsis an examination of the provocative ideas emerging in media and world culture behind the news.
Shava Nerad has been working on the Internet for twenty-five years, at the boundaries of Internet and social issues. She is executive director of The Tor Project as her day job. She lives in Somerville, MA with her teenage son, her fiance (a professional magician and fundraising coach), and a corgi/dachshund mutt named George.
Opinions here have nothing to do with Tor.
You can find all of Shava's Iconoclasm columns at http://Iconoclasm.gather.com
Keep up with Shava’s other postings and Gather activity by joining her Gather network -- just click here and select the orange “Connect” button on the left-hand side of the page (colleage connections only please, unless you know me on the street!)
You’ll find Shava and other News Correspondents, plus celebrity content and plenty of other News experts at News.gather.com
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Comments: 14
Yes, it does take someone speaking up when they encounter bad conduct. It's impossible for game publishers to activly monitor all in-game interactions, but if they know to look for a specific one, they can usually find the record of it on the server side pretty quickly. Someone has to give them that information, though.
It's not possible to punish thought, only actions. If you want to change something or send a message that specific conduct is unacceptable, then you've taken on the job of being the person who speaks up, who points out the bad behavior, and who makes sure that prohibited acts are made known to the proper parties. You also get to be the person who sets the good example.
It's not just the responsability of the GLBT community to speak up, though. It's a job for anyone who finds derogatory language, harassment, and bullying unacceptable.
Also I RP my toons as gay, generally, and folks have gotten very weirded out by it sometimes. First they assume I'm a woman in RL, but when I correct them, I've been booted from groups on occassion. Do others think of their toons as having a sexual orientation? Some of my RL friends find it odd that I do.
That's true, Bryan, but the minute you open your mouth to speak, you have TAKEN action! I remember the "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" era. Now we know that words have power.
I agree that "gay" is not, and should not be, a synonym for bad, or inept, or "lame". Hmm.... "lame". Now that's another word that shouldn't be used negatively.
I've seen newbies use the phrase a couple of times in Second Life. I take the time to explain to them why it's a bad idea, just as I explain why opening a conversation with A/S/L isn't the way things are done. I've never seen anybody but a newbie use that particular form of distasteful speech, so I think that the community must actually be doing a decent job of cultural education.
But to say this is an attack on the MMO community means you don't understand my point. It's not an attack to want to see it get better. That's like saying, if I want my workplace to treat women equally, I'm attacking my workplace. Does that make sense?
I want MMO environments to be better for everyone, including women, gay men, and so on. But it's a changing environment *because* of the actions of people involved. If people work in a game to make it fair and a good environment for everyone, it will be. But when people (including the gaming company running the interpretation of behavior codes) ignore bad behavior, or don't give support to the people trying to make it better -- I think that's more of an "attack" than anything I'm saying.
Whats great about living in the united states is that i can say whatever the heck i want to say. Its my right as a citizen. I am sorry that i am no where near as old as you are but that doesn't make me any less of a gamer or diminish my opnion. You might want to look up ageism before you play that card again.
If anything, A mmo community is more constricted and regulated than in real life. A GM can do a lot more than a police officer would ever dream of. If i take the time and go out and buy a game to pay monthly for, there should be no reason i cant call my guild mate a "fag" or a "pussy." I should be able to say whatever i want to them as long as i dont go out of my way to spam or camp them. I have just as equal of rights as you do. Just because you might take offense to a few words or discriminations, doesnt mean everyone has to follow your rules and morals.
And that may very well include rules against foul and inappropriate language, hate speech, or any number of things.
Your rights end when your actions hurt someone else. Calling someone a name is not protected political speech in a gaming context. You might want to go read up on what that right of free speech is about.
You have a right to do what you want in game so long as it doesn't ruin other folks' enjoyment of the game -- and the kind of language we're talking about can ruin another person's game.
I don't know what games you play, but you might want to look more carefully at your terms of service before you spout off like that in public channels.
You call yourself a liberal... You are just what is convenient for your lifestyle
you are one of those people who only cares about curing some disease when they have it
that person you see raising money for a cure to something their family member has
something they would never think twice about until it deals with them
those are the kind of people i hate the most; the fake compassion, the conditional caring.
i
It is interesting that he consciously espouses the belief that homosexuality is A-OK with him and that he understands why his pejorative use of gay bothers me while having a difficult time standing up to his peers on the issue. I don't fear the direct hostility that the use of this phrase generates in gay listeners/readers so much as the subtle associative normalizing effects of having it as part of the group vocabulary. If everyone lets that phrase pass, then in all our minds -- I don't think we can help it on some level, it's acceptable to maintain the marginalization that homosexuals experience.
On the other hand, the only time that I've been in close proximity to someone in an MMO using the offensive phrase, a responsible, adult village-mate of mine in Wurm Online was using it. I let it slide the first time and asked him to stop the second -- because we had some teen-age members of the village that shouldn't have that language reinforced. He was gracious, apologized and explained that it didn't really have anything to do with homosexuality in his mind. And rather than being reassured, I think that's exactly the problem!