Chapter Seventeen

YOU DIDN'T WANT ME

WAS WHAT YOU SAID

BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A LIE

IN YOUR EYES

IN MY HEAD

I DIDN'T NEED YOU

I COULD DO WITHOUT

YET, SUDDEN FEAR AND UTTER DOUBT

SHONE THROUGH THE FASCADE

THE GIVEN DISGUISE

OF LOVE

OF LUST

THE TOTAL RIDE

FOR YOU WERE BARRED

LIKE I WAS AT ONCE

I TRIED TO BREAK THROUGH

BUT YOU WOULDN'T BUDGE

I LOVED YOU MORE

THAN LIFE ITSELF

AND TOLD MYSELF

THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE

YOU WERE MY HALF

THAT MADE ME WHOLE

NOW YOU STAND LIKE A CROWD

THAT'S OUT OF CONTROL

I told you

I loved you

I had the right

You turned off my light

Without a good night

You ran

You sped

As far as you could go

And left me back here

All alone

I have now to strive

To gain your attention

Through every boulder

And apprehension

I loved you once

And think I still do

Everytime that song plays

I cry from missing you

You were me

And you were you

But that segment

Is cracked

Leaving this puzzle askew

I loved you once

And will again

Someday you'll know how you had been

Your father's dark looks

From the corners

Of my eyes

Singing sweet songs

Of gospel lullabies

Of peace

And of justice

Of singing out loud

And now that I'm out

I feel anything but proud

You look at me

Like I am scum

A small piece of dirt

A drugged-up bum

And I look at you

Like an angel in a choir

Your soft-spoken face

That changes like attire

The peace in your heart

And the will to break free

Stopped at the wound

The voice

Of whoa me

You could've loved me

Like a pro

Took that jump shot

I've seen your throw

You could have held me

When I cried

I could have cured you

When you would hide

You could have loved me

I bet you did

I could have loved you

Without an end

Under God

But above myself

I would have kept you

Like no one else

But you were too frightened

Too torn apart

And I was a novice

At this type of art

She willed me close

But I wasn't sure my fate

Should I let go

Or should I wait

I think I loved her

Is a thought even true

I kept comparing her

With the likes of you

Physically attractive

She was indeed

And my wanting more

Became a need

A desire not quenched

By everyday life

Avoidance became

Another strife

I wanted you

But you weren't the same

She said she was

Without playing games

No deals with the tears

Or ignoring me so,

I decided to give it a go

But she couldn't wait

And neither could you

Yet I'm still torn in half

Between you two

Waitin for your call

Every minute counts

Losin all this time

Letting my heart bounce

Making paper air planes

Countin all the tiles

Reading seventy pages

Without crackin a smile