Essays on Diplomacy: Kal & Tony

So there's this Jewish Dentist, and he has this Palestinian Assistant…now I know this sounds like the start of a bad joke, but it's not.   

I met Kal on my flight from Amsterdam to Jerusalem. Kal's the Dentist.  He moved to Jerusalem over 30 years ago, since graduating from USC's School of Dentistry.  

And Kal used to work with Tony. Tony's the Palestinian.  

Now, Palestinians and Jews have a long history of working together, despite what it may seem.  Even today, thousands of Jews and Palestinians live and work together in the Old City of Jerusalem.  But still.  "Wasn't that awkward?" I asked.

"Oh no, we'd joke about it," Kal said. "And besides, Tony was wonderfully talented at building bridgework. He was the best at his job, that's all that mattered to me."  Kal indicated his empty coffee cup to a passing flight attendant.   "But I did also," he continued, "consider Tony to be my friend."

In1987 the First Infitada began.  Tensions, which had been mounting for decades between Israelis and Palestinians, finally exploded in what became three years of continuous violence.  Suicide bombers, Israeli Defense Force raids, checkpoints and, ultimately the first invasion of Lebanon.  As the violence neared a crescendo, Yassar Arafat declared all Palestinians, working for Israelis, had to quit their jobs.  This included Tony. 

"Oh, I knew Tony wouldn't be coming back to work," Kal told me, "I understood that. But we never discussed it.  And then one day he just…didn't show up anymore.  And that was that."

"How long had you two worked together?" I asked.

"Seven years." Kal said.  He said the number without a trace of sadness, without a trace of anything in his voice. "But Tony never sent me the bill for his last two weeks of work so finally I called him and said, 'Tony, unless you've become independently wealthy you need to send me that bill.' And he said, 'Yeah yeah, I will I will.'  But he never did. And I think," Kal's voice catches here for just a second, "I think that was his way of saying 'thank you.' Despite everything, things were still okay between us."

Despite living less than six miles apart, they haven't seen each other since.  Twenty years now.

Diplomacy is defined as the negations conducted by the governmental representatives of nations.   After spending some time in the Mid-East, I gotta say that definition sounds…less than promising, like a fairy tale or a fictional wish.  A virtual impossibility.   

Instead, I'd like to think of diplomacy as pre-1987 Kal and Tony; after work, sitting in Kal's office, joking about the ancient strife between their people.  "You know Tony," Kal would say, "if we were in charge of sorting this mess out…we could have this thing solved over a couple of beers."  Tony would agree and they'd both laugh.

I don't know if they laughed imagining themselves their respective governmental representatives, or if they laughed because it was probably true.   They would have this mess sorted out.