The truth may not be as bad as the title suggests. You’re probably not an embarrassed “I cheated on my spouse” liar. Nor are you likely a “nobody told me about that stock and now I have to go to jail” liar.
But the authors of Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me, Tavris and Aronson, suggest that you are telling many lies and more than a few to yourself. You also believe those lies. The authors say you cannot help it. It is the way you brain is wired.
Ideas from others and our own thoughts and memories that do not conform with our current way of thinking make us uncomfortable. So our brain acts to make us feel better. This is called cognative dissonance.
Author Carol Tavris offers a story from her childhood to illustrate how her brain fooled her. One of her favorite books was The Wonderful O, by James Thurber. She remembers her father giving it to her as a child, and has a vivid memory of her father reading it to her. “…our laughing together at the thought of the shy Ophlia Oliver saying her name without its O‘s.” Recently, she found this book of her childhood. It had been published in 1957, one year after her father’s death. She was in shock. Not only did her father not read it to her; she did not remember who did.
We expect politicians and crazy old relatives to tell us a bunch of lies, but they might believe them. We could be telling one or two ourselves. How long was that winning putt on the 18th green or that big ole bass?
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Comments: 39
Actually if you read the latest research on the brain, it's not lying. Our brain does not retain memories intact. The moment we THINK they are a memory our mind changes them and "corrupts" the original content. The only way to save a memory as close to intact as possible it to set up all sorts of sense clues, ie smell, taste, sound and touch to anchor the memory as close to pristine as possible. THEN you have to retrieve it and go over it often. Even then there is no guarantee.
This was written up in Brain Rules by John Medina. VERY VERY interesting stuff in there. All about "neuroplasticity" which is the technical term for this stuff. The book would blow your mind Elmo
Gather Broadcasting: Have it your way
This takes you in the back door. If you’ve already been, don’t click again.
Barbara Bush remembers son Jeb strongly considering becoming a conscenious objector during the Vietnam War. Jeb does not remember it that way.
I think that our perceptions of things that happen to us differ greatly between the generations.
Karen
when we are 'Realised one' like in meditation
what Lord Buddha taught known as 'Vipassana'
(can read details visiting site www.dhamma.org
and attend one camp to practially know the
method meant for all free of cost by the donation
of the ones who come learn and feel worth
benefitted ) you learn to see yourself actually
what is happening and the 'Truth' of your entity
you realise, so your whole attitude changes to the
worldly happening which is false as reflection !
As Lord Jesus could easily take the pain
of his crucification and look at his body is
just like a shirt you are wearing is torn and
worn out you change willingly and knowingly !!!
I'm glad I came. This is a wonderful article. I often feel the press and the public are much too hard on public figures when they are responding on many long ago happenings. Or even some from not so long ago.
I have found myself trying to defend something I said by substituting what I really meant. We often leave part of the details in our minds without meaning to. Our listener may draw very different conclusions without hearing our thoughts. But leaning on memory to discern between what we said and what we meant, or what we hope we meant :) could be a bag of worms. Thanks for posting.
Shelbia put it so well, ".... the intent behind the lie is what makes the difference."