Abilities vary in any individual. Once we've mastered a skill, then we're vulnerable to fear of success, which actually puts a lot of pressure on us. We feel pressured to remain at the top of our game. Once we make a mistake, the pressure is off. We've survived and no longer have to fear failing...or succeeding. Both are normal.
This is so true! As a writer I always have those nagging doubts. I'm afraid of failure.. So, I sometimes don't even want to try. Love your bytes, my friend.
I have a daughter, who is a very good artist, then all of a sudden she lost interest. I think she may be afraid of the expectations or her art. I find this is true.
When I was an active minister I was known for my preaching and public speaking. Often when I had a big speech to give people would say, "Oh you will do so good. You always do." That did not help. At times I would become stuck and unable to prepare. Then I had to set myself down and say I am responsible for the action but not the result. That helped.
If we are able to do something (like, say, housework) then we might be called upon to do something. Perhaps that's why people don't want to know how to solve their problems. (I could get in good shape if only I would exercise but I don't want to hear that because that means I could solve this problem if I weren't so lazy.)
Perhaps that's why everyone hasn't read my book yet. :-)
"I am responsible for the action but not the result."
Another important aspect here, Bert.
I always found I was at my creative best when I had permission to fail. "I know this is impossible, John, just do whatever you can" almost always guaranteed success for me.
Having been a teacher - and I think all teachers have the Coke attitude that they want to teach the world to _______ - I wanted to do lots of things differently and succeed where others had failed. I loved to read before I actually knew how - my mom said I carried books around like a purse, never dropping or tearing them but lovingly holding them more often than a babydoll. I sometimes feel I have abandoned some of my abilities and some have abandoned me over the years. I once had a very strong soprano voice which I have let go because when I was in poor health I did not practice and without practice a voice loses its clarity and color. I opted to go toward the writing abilities which served me well in many aspects of my life - newsletters, newspapers, feature writing, and here at Gather. I think I fear finding my inabilities rahter than my abilities - like you, John Philipp I fear rejection but sometimes you just have to say "what the heck?" and go on and put yourself out there for whatever praise, rejection or total no-commital attitude you get.
I think it's because when we are good at something, we take it for granted we will always be good at it. We stop trying to get better. We no longer feel an urgency to prepare. Complacency.
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Comments: 120
And yes, I get scared every time I think I CAN write a novel.
That's good in a novel.
Maybe that's why they call it novel.
(Sorry. Couldn't resist.)
As usual, there are several facets to this Byte.
My strengths have a life of their own somtimes. I have to reel them in on occasion.
Now go ride those strengths like the wind.
It is when we gamble on ourselves and instincts that we quake the most!
Love your bytes, my friend.
(says Robert, so selflessly filling in for John............)
I find this is true.
Perhaps that's why everyone hasn't read my book yet. :-)
Invisible Hand
Sleeping on it is a good idea.
Gwen, what an excellent way to put this. An important facet of this Byte.
Thanks.
An excellent point, Jan.
Understanding that the pressure is self-applied.
What can I say, Helen. I'm in a rut.
An excellent example, Angela.
Suggestion: Write out a dialogue between your strengths and your weaknesses where they negotiate a contract both are happy with.
Seriously, this is a powerful exercise.
Definitely an important facet to this Byte, Marianne.
Thanks.
"Settle" being the operative term, Patricia.
I admit, I didn't see that coming.
Robert, did you go to sleep?
Then you are right on track, Terry.
Bytes are best digested slowly until the meaning reveals itself.
LaRue, sounds like a good example.
Maybe pass this Byte along.
Another important aspect here, Bert.
I always found I was at my creative best when I had permission to fail.
"I know this is impossible, John, just do whatever you can" almost always guaranteed success for me.
Good luck, Lisa.
That's true, Denise.
The question is why?
Similar to Denise's point, Andrea.
This is often true but never necessary.
Failings are like old friends. Success is like meeting a new person at a party. Will they like me?
The only opinion of you that is important is your own.
Not an easy lesson — and quite a powerful one.
You're the one who does the heavy lifting.
Great drawing and a witty caption as always. Thanks so much John.
Maybe we should call then Tart~Bytes :)
Thanks.
and
I may need to use nuculur (sic) means to deal with the evildoers.
Disclaimer: the statements above are NOT, repeat NOT quotes from Nee.
A little anxiety at that point is just natural — and healthy unless the anxiety takes control of the situation.
I find the comment thread always intriguing.
More common is that success will mean they are better than the person they decided they were when they were young.
Thanks.