Gather - Manna for my Mind

Yummy!

Brain; "Urp!"

I feel the same way. My other favorite mental refueling station is:

http://cellar.org/iotdarch.php

cool... same here too.. just addicted to it

"myriad" was spelled incorrectly :)

Since you have asked for critique, I have a couple of things to say . . . firstly, congratulations on trying to write a sonnet, it's hard to do! Good use of consonant rhyme.

When using iambic pentameter, it is essential that you follow the normal stresses of the English language. Your third line therefore has a problem, as the second syllable of "something" is never stressed in normal speech. Your second line has an unnecessary extra syllable . . . I grabbed a pen and quickly wrote it down scans properly, and conveys exactly the same message.

The most proper function of the sonnet is to explore two contrasting ideas, separated by the octave and the sextet. The Spenserian sonnet is even trickier, as the contrasting idea has to be put into the quatrain, and then a summary fit into the final couplet. Since you're interested in exploring the form, I'd love to see you write a sonnet conforming more closely to these ideal rules. There's nothing wrong with what you've written, but it would be a nice challenge for you to go a step further.

Your effort is evident and I admire your honesty and observations. I feel the same way about Gather.

Since I know nothing of form, I can't critique. All I can do is relate to your insatiable thirst for knowledge and the meeting of the minds on this site. I thought this was excellently expressed!

Thanks Seraphim for your comments!

Olga, thanks for your comment and the link. I will check it out.

Millenium, I know what you mean, I am quite addicted to Gather also. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

Shannon, thanks for bringing my attention to the incorrect spelling of the word myriad. For some reason, I have always had a problem spelling that word. I should have checked it out, too much of a hurry. I appreciate you taking the time to let me know.

David, I really appreciate you taking the time to give advice about this sonnet.

I tried to write one forty years ago, before I had a family, and never could get it right. Since I found Gather, I thought I would try my hand at it again.

Well, I guess I may not call this one a Spencerian Sonnet and work on one with another subject. I will definitely take your words of advice into account when I try again.

Thanks for the other nice words you said about it.

Thanks, Priscilla, it was nice of you to stop by and comment about my attempt at writing a sonnet. I do like you Icon, cute!

Amanda, you are so right about the thirst for knowledge and finding people of like minds on this site. Even people of different opinions are interesting to read sometimes.

One day I hope I can write as well as you.

Now any time of the day or night I find,
I'm there to soak up manna for my mind.

And get relief from the daily grind.

This is sanjay sonnet for u from india.

sanjay

Thanks, Sanjay, for the sonnet from India!

I thought this was great. I know nothing about sonnets but I think you did one heck of a job. Look at us. It is 4am where I live and what are we doing? Haha.

Thanks, Serina, for the nice comment! It's 4:28 a.m. where I live right now. I reckon I do my best reading this time of day.

For manna of this sonnet by grandma
Jubilantly with 'bah' claps this grandpa.

Manoj, thanks for stopping by and commenting on my poem. Also thanks for the rhyme, Grandpa!

I think you did great something I couldn't do.

Thank you so very much, Jewel! I've read your articles which are so informative and that is something I havent' learned to do well. Thanks for stopping by.