by Mandi -Watch where the chalk-white arrows go. To the place where the sidewalk ends. S.S.
Member since:
January 24, 2006

Deafening Silence

June 09, 2006 07:25 PM EDT
views: 100 | rating: 9.9/10 (12 votes) | comments: 23

The wind blows my dreams

 

To all corners of my mind

 

Floating free

 

Tormenting me

 

Holding me back from all that could be

 

You're there

 

Calling to me

 

Beckoning me

 

Water drowns me

 

I can't breath

 

Your strong hands hold me down

 

Smothering  me

 

Love pours from your eyes

 

Blinds me

 

Please ....

 

Let

 

Me

 

See...

 

The water burns

 

I feel an explosion in my chest

 

A deafening silence consumes me

 

My mouth opens

 

Life escapes through your love

 

Into the void of darkness

 

I can see

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Comments: 23

Cheryl W. Jun 9, 2006, 7:47pm EDT
Beautiful, Mandi. I could feel the emotions in your words.....I have felt this way before.
Powerful! Love can smother as well as release.

Magi
Vicky P. Jun 9, 2006, 8:59pm EDT
Very moving
Faith H. Jun 9, 2006, 9:12pm EDT
whew, gosh, Mandi, a close up look at love and life.
thanks all ;-)

love you mom.
Aileen F. Jun 9, 2006, 10:24pm EDT
Very powerful!
John F Walter Jun 9, 2006, 10:39pm EDT
Fascinating moody poem of deep sleep and trauma dream. You quickly shift from wind to water, revealing a terrifying vision for the speaker of the loved one as a one who first saves from drowning and then becomes strangler, snuffer of life, which then changes quickly into the speaker's intense desire for vision, finally gained through the love of her life's presence. What a ride, Mand! And very well structured in the suspense that built with hypnotic effect and lightning dream tempo. I really liked this one. When you see it, you knock it out of the park, lady.
Kathryn E. Jun 9, 2006, 10:40pm EDT
Very moving, Mandi.
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Jun 9, 2006, 10:42pm EDT
Nice, Mandi - very nice.
John Doyle Jun 9, 2006, 11:35pm EDT
Brethless mandi
jessie voigts Jun 9, 2006, 11:41pm EDT
wow, mandi. powerful!
Carol Voigts Jun 10, 2006, 12:06am EDT
Now that's a dream, or was it a nightmare. I can't imagine anything worse that smothering.
thanks all ;-)

John? How do you do that??
Edward Nudelman Jun 10, 2006, 8:18am EDT
Mandi, superb, visceral poem that makes me think of the process of birth (water drowns me, I can't see, deafening silence, void) but then, a realization and new beginning, in the birth of love. Beautiful.
George Corneliussen Jun 10, 2006, 8:52am EDT
Love hurts ?
gautami tripathy Jun 10, 2006, 9:06am EDT
Your love poetry is amazing! It transforms me to another world.
Leah Christensen Jun 10, 2006, 11:34am EDT
Beautiful!
Jillbilly H. Jun 10, 2006, 12:09pm EDT
Beautiful and powerful, I love it.
Darcy Altaville Jun 10, 2006, 12:26pm EDT
this is great...love the end...
Carrie Cahill Jun 10, 2006, 2:20pm EDT
Very beautiful poem. :)
Granny Janny H. Jun 10, 2006, 5:20pm EDT
Mandi,
It flows like Niagra Falls!
Cynthia B. Jun 10, 2006, 5:44pm EDT
I understand the overwhelming suffocation that can come from a relationship where the other is thinking that s/he's helping, but is really drowning our true selves.

Also, the spaces act like gasps of breath. Wonderful style for this poem.
thanks everyone ;-)

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