The Dangers of Smoking While Gathering

The Dangers of Smoking While Gathering

Since I have become an official gatherholic I am sad to say my smoking habit has increased dramatically. I can't really explain why. I think part of the reason is from being anxious while I wait ever so patiently on the pages to load. Anytime I have to wait I reach for another cigarette. Sometimes when I'm bogged down in ambiguous thought I must have another cigarette while I contemplate. All excuses, I know.

There are the apparent reasons for not smoking. Cancer, shortening my life span, emphysema, the asthma I already have, and the second hand smoke my poor daughter and pets are breathing. Yes, I feel ashamed about that last one. I do open my windows to try and air out my hazy room where I hibernate. But who am I kidding.

Just this morning I discovered another danger. One I definitely had not thought about.

My printer sits on the right hand side of my compact, shabby desk. It has also become a convenient ashtray stand. I have paper lying underneath my ashtray with burnt edges where a long burning cigarette or two have fallen off the side of overflowing butts.

This has really got to be disgusting to you nonsmokers I imagine. Anyway, entrenched while reading an article this morning I stared single-mindedly into the screen. Inhaling and exhaling the poison passionately I reached over to lay my burning cigarette down. Never taking my eyes off the screen, I kept reading avidly.

Within a few seconds I could smell a different kind of odor. Looking over curiously to grab my cancer stick I could not find it. Smoke was beginning to billow up from the printer where I insert the paper vertically. I had missed the ashtray and dropped the cigarette into the printer. Freaking out, I shoved my fat hand down into the printer, barely reaching it, when I burned my finger. Instantly I retracted and yanked the smoldering paper out. I started blowing furiously into the printer when of course the next piece of paper started to catch fire. Pulling the remaining papers out I once again began to blow when I realized this was not the right plan of action. Grabbing a pencil I forced the eraser far enough down to reach the burning end and smother it. Whew! Now all I had to do was figure out how to extract it.

I reached in desperately again with my hand. It's still too fat to slide far enough to confiscate the Marlboro. I could feel it but that was all. I looked around for some long tweezers but could not find any and grabbed a knife. Thinking I could spear it and pull it out. All I managed to do was slice it up into smaller pieces and push it further down into the printer.

So I sit hear realizing I'm probably screwed. I sure don't have the knowledge to try and disassemble this printer with hopes of getting to the cigarette and getting it back together in working order. I thought about trying to print something anyway to see what would happen but I hesitate. What do you think?

Well, I'm out of cigarettes again so I'm off to the store to get some more. Maybe I'll be able to think of something by then. Boy do I feel stupid. Any suggestions? About how to get the cigarette out, that is.