Winner receives 2-12 pack coke rewards which totals 20 points. If you were told your child on the way had a rare condition called Ambiguous Genitalia (which consists of your child being born with two sex organs), what would you do? Would you consider surgery? And why?
Based on my situation, I have a child on the way and gender cannot be determined by any ultrasound testing. First conclusion was a boy and doctor saying excitedly : "I see something!." quickly and then saying, "I think its a boy because of extra tissue in that area." That was at the 20 week mark of ultrasound, then further along at almost 30 weeks, I find out my child on the way is a girl and has a labia and girl sexual organs. Gender still hasn't been determined. When my sister found out, she almost laughed, but with concern, I told her someone told me my child could be born with two sexual organs and I asked her if this statement was true. She confirmed the condition was true, but it was rare and has been stated as chromosome related (similar to Down Syndrome, but instead a disorder related to two sexual organs when baby is born).
So, if you were put in this situation, what would you do? Would you consider surgery? And why?
Write a small paragraph describing if you were put in these shoes as a parent and many parents looking at you in disgust, blaming you, and laughing/mocking about the situation. Keep in mind, not much research has been done on this condition, and most information you find is from dictionaries and so forth.
It still hasn't been determined that this is the case, but still.... If you were put in the shoes of a parent dealing with the rare condition, what would you do? And why?
Begins Saturday, November 10, 2007 and ends on Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Thanks again to all that participate!!!
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Comments: 22
To answer your question: If I was a parent with a child having both sex organ, I would probably wait and see what gender the child identified with prior to having surgery done. Can you imagine "making" your child a male (or female) only to have them "feel" totally the opposite? This has happened and it seems like it would be better to wait and have this taken care of surgically only once, after the gender identity of the child was established.
On a side note, I think it's terrible that anyone would laugh at such a possibility. It's no different than any other type of birth defect. I hope your sister wouldn't laugh at a downs or severely retarded baby. So why would she snicker at this? Anyway, for your sake I hope the baby was just in the wrong position and the unltrasound was casting unnecessary shadows. You don't need to worry about such a thing when you're currently pregnant. That type of stress isn't good for you or your baby.
Gender determination is more than sex organs and many children with this problem were turned into girls but they still have the disposition of a male.
That being said, I think it is too early for you to worry about such things.
Were I a parent in that situation, I would wait for the child to determine its own gender identity. It would be difficult, yes, as gender is one of those things that people immediately focus on in infants and young children. I won't lie and say that any judgement, strange looks or outright disgust wouldn't hurt me-- I would be hurt, and deeply so. But being a parent is to be hurt and/or scared a lot of the time, and to try to give your child the best life possible, help guide it into the strength it'll need to thrive, in spite of the challenges. Allowing it to make its own choice on gender, especially in a case of that condition, would be a large part of that gift.
Looking forward to more participants!! :D
but meanwhile, what to tell people - this is not an easy question at all.
I am curious to find out what you decide, what doctors have to say
As far as ambiguous genitalia (a rare condition, but one that exists), while it can cause a lot of questions for a child and have an emotional and developmental impact on the child, having surgery while the child is still a baby is just cruel. I realize that it happens all the time in these cases, but what happens if you're wrong? What happens if you are just pressing your desires onto the child and the sex you and the doctor select is completely wrong? The only logical and healthy thing to do is to allow the child to mature and identify themselves with whatever gender is right for them. At that point, then you could consider surgery. Any other decision is pretty much just selfish on the parent's part. LIke Suze said, hope for a healthy child and work from there.
Thanks again to all that participated! I'm looking forward to more great answers and responses! :)
It would certainly be a very tough decision to face and until I actually had it to face, I cannot determine what I would do. But here's how I feel about it and think I would do:
I would look into as much possible research as is available. I would speak to doctors who are experts in physical development. And when the child is born, I would confirm that this condition is truly the case by ultrasounds/x-rays. Then I would find out which organs were more developed and which were being used. I guess it is possible that both gender organs could function, but I feel like one would over rule the other. Based on that observation, I would go with one or the other.
I don't know that I would even have a surgery immediately. I would possibly wait a couple of years, but I certainly would think it needs to be taken care of before the child reaches potty-training age, and definitely by puberty age.
I would hope that this would not be discussed beyond immediate family to avoid ridicule, as this could also tend to lead others' influence on the child's phsycological development.
I would definitely bathe the matter in prayer and ask God's guidance, if not intervention in the situation.
Thank you for giving us a thought provoking situation to consider!
Usually what ends up happening is that the parents decide on the gender they want their child to be, and have whatever "doesn't fit" removed. I think that waiting until the child begins to associate strongly as one gender or another (not simply toy preferences, but strong personality traits) is the best possible action in these situations. There is nothing wrong with birthing a gifted child, and if you want to change what you were given, please, at least wait until the child can tell you who they are before doing something drastic.
Many people who are born this way would rather have been simply left alone instead of altered from their birth state, while others would have simply liked to have had a choice in the matter so that they could decide what was right for their own bodies themselves.
In the end, it is up to the parents to decide, but if this is something that happens to your family, and you need to consider your options, I want you to know that waiting to decide anything, simply waiting on your beautiful child to blossom, is the kindest and easiest thing to do.
After all, babies don't care how you dress them, and it's perfectly alright to dress boys in gowns if you want frills, and it has been for centuries.
Just pick a gender-neutral name. :)
As for the contest, I do not want any coke rewards but I will tell you what I would do: If my child was born with both, I would treat the child with love (for there is no greater gift than a child). I would dress the child in clothing that would not influence the "gender". I would not have any surgery performed and would allow the child to decide if he/she wanted the surgery when they were old enough to make that decision.
It was a hard decision indeed, and I've decided the winner has been announced as Tab.
I will have more contests soon! Keep your eye out! ;) A trivia will be coming soon-- snatch it and get some coke rewards before someone else does. :P