Alzheimers - A Different Type Of Loss (Part 3)

Alzheimers - A Different Type Of Loss, Part 3

The weeks have gone by and things have not gotten better on the cousin/aunt alzheimers front.

Our cousin's co-worker finally took him back to the hearing Dr's and they took back the hearing aids and sent them out to be fixed - then took him back to get them again. He, our cousin wasn't pleased, since the Dr. as well as the people who fixed them placed the blame for them being broken squarely on him, for a fairly wide variety of reasons, some of which I doubt we'll ever hear about.

Another day went by, he took them apart (admitted it, more than once) and wham.. they don't work. Work seems to have finally washed their hands of the whole thing and he's got no clue who or where the Doctor is. He refuses (so far) to try and find out, though one call to his 'supposed buddy' who was taking him here and there would probably tell him exactly where and who the Dr. is. So far, nothing, though he told me that he "thought" it was in the western United States! When I gave him a weird look, he said that he meant the western or middle part of the state. Or maybe not.

He also somehow managed to convince the Dr. who prescribed the alzheimers medicine that he was having a bad reaction to it (he wasn't), and that it was "making him crazy", so he's taking nothing, and he's getting worse so fast it's scary.

Mark will be more than happy to take him back to the hearing aid Dr., though at this point, he just wants his money back - even though he's wrecked them himself both times, so I doubt he'll get it - but nobody knows where or who the Dr. is. Sooner or later, I guess...

Our aunt is terrified of him - with reason; he screams at her for anything and everything and she's taken to hiding from him in the den, almost ALL the time. He waited the other week for Mark to go to the bank for our aunt and started hollering at me (only women are and have always been the recipients of his temper, which has accelerated a lot, a whole lot), so I pretty much ignored him as our aunt was sitting there and I didn't want to get her even more upset than she already was. He finally asked me something and I tried to answer him, but before I could really get anything out, he screamed at me that he couldn't hear me -- and our aunt spoke up a little louder (to be helpful), and he yelled at her so loud that my ears actually hurt and rung for awhile. She started crying and in all of the years that I've known her, though I do know she cries, I've never seen her cry.

That did it. I told her that I hope that she didn't mind if I said something LOUDLY to her son that wouldn't be very nice -- all she did was sit there, hunched down, with silent tears running down her face.

I told him LOUDLY that he DID NOT speak or swear at his mother period or if I had to use my cane, I'd knock him on his a$$! He tried to make excuses (there are none), and I told him that also - NO MORE. When Mark got back from the bank, he was like a little kid, all quiet and no mention of the yelling at all. Mark couldn't figure out why I wasn't helping him do his checks, but he hadn't been there for the previous screaming, so taking forever, as Mark doesn't write out checks, and Pete (cousin) was acting like a whiny little kid, they got it done, though Mark kept looking at me funny as if to ask why I wasn't doing them.

I got our aunts done and that was that. The moment we walked out the door, we could hear him screaming at her again. It's out of control and I'm afraid he'll hit her and then just leave the house and she won't tell anyone that he did - she's that afraid of him; she just wants to die.

I have no idea what to do at this point, other than get him out of the house, so on Saturday nights he comes over to our apartment to play cards (Uno), which we're removing some cards from the deck as he forgets how to play that also from week to week. What's next? Old Maid? Go Fish? I dread every Saturday. He's a very poor loser,
so even if he thinks he's not winning, the yelling and swearing starts and accelerates.

We're having him leave by 11:00 pm as he's comfortable enough where he's yelling here too, and I can see the police getting called - people go to bed early here and the walls are thin.
We're in a very small apartment.

Nobody has power of attorney, so not much can be done. Our aunt will only let us into her home, as long as she still recognizes us, which I hope is for awhile yet.

She's pretty much almost stopped eating and the amounts of weekly food that I cook to her liking (we don't really like the same things, so it's an additional day to cook hers) aren't getting even half-eaten. We found out that some of her snacks that we stash in the den (where she actually lives) are being taken by our cousin. Anything in a box that she likes, he takes - examples: Cheese-its, Goldfish, so I know now, that I need to container it all so he can't see what the heck it is.

He's also admitted to not taking his insulin a lot and he thinks it doesn't matter - he's a type II diabetic and it sure does matter. Then he proceeds to eat whatever he wants. He's also reusing needles, which makes no sense, and isn't the least bit sanitary. On one of his feet it's numb, as are toes on the other foot; again, he thinks nothing of it. NOT a big deal and so what.

Where do we go from here? I wish I knew. If anyone has any advice, please feel free. We'll take all the help we can get.

mn - 2008