G-Ma and the Moon Cussers

Time for Spring break and escaping the revelry that hasn't stopped in Pittsburgh since the Steelers brought home one for the thumb.  Enough partying; time to vacation.  I arrive in Providence and am met by my daughter and her two babies and young son.  We're in this new technovan with movies, sounds, radar, sonar and all we're missing is the Batmobile "Eject" mechanism (which is the one we REALLY need).  Almost to Hyannis and 50 Cent blasts with a message on the cell to head to the ER - the oldest daredevil has landed himself there again for the second time in three weeks doing a stupid maneuver on his skateboard.  He's the hockey team's prize goalie and and their fate is doomed:  the team is at the hospital when we arrive and no one will speak to him.  I disinherit him.  His Mother informs him that life as he knows it is over.  So far, a great start to my vacation.  Early the next day, I walk outside to the Beach on Pirate's Cove where there's this huge commemorative rock monument in memoriam to the Moon Cussers.  I don't know who they are, but I can definitely relate; I'm ready to cuss anything about now.  The next play-off hockey game starts with the back-up goalie and there's a big problem.  We have a girl on our team who's an ace and the opponents won't play against a girl.  They have no choice and, after she steals their puck and scores, they slam her into the wall and the melee begins.  The French have nothing over on us with this maneuver.  The goalie leaves his post and takes on the whole opponent's team which could have been great except he's only about 4 feet tall and this was a permanent sin bin tactic.  The Mothers and Grandmothers start ringing cow bells and swearing at the referee.  When that doesn't produce results, they start with the obscene gestures and that did it.  We were sent home for unsportsmanlike conduct.  So, now we have a bad rep.  Next, the middle grandson receives notice that he's on academic probation.  Seems that they were just learning to read and the teacher announced a trip to the library and he refused to go.  He was asked "Why"?  Response:  "A library is for people who read books and we don't know how, so what's the point"?  A Spring break should mean sun and umbrella drinks and memory loss, but I ended up becoming a veteran Moon Cusser.  Maybe we all should have a Moon Cusser G-Ma?