Okay, many of you know that my brother passed away from a heroin overdose earlier this year. Personally I have been trying to get the word out about how drugs affect lives ever since (my family thinks I'm crazy, say that people make this choice weather or not I speak out... but maybe my voice will effect someone and make them see what they are doing. Right?) Well, as Christmas nears I know my mom and I are going to feel this one the hardest. Trenton was THE most fun person to shop for! I kid you not! Spongebob Squarepants, stewie, monopoly, anything that has to do with money really, Ralph Lauren stuff, We knew what kind of stuff Trenton liked and he would hang on to his presents like they are worth a great deal more than we actually paid for them.
Well, it's going to be rough this year NOT buying for him, and I would love to find a way to buy for him, without it being cheesy. Find a way for the rest of the siblings left to gather together and honor him with our gifts every year. Here are some ideas I have thought about...
1. We could go ahead and buy like we are buying for Trenton and then set those presents aside to have a 'play auction' with monopoly money later. Then we all have a present in honor of Trenton to take home.
2. Trenton loved helping people, so I thought about buying gifts that he would love and taking them to one of the hospitals he had to stay in to try to clean up. I'm sure there are other people there that would appreciate a tangible reminder why it's important to clean up (though this one seems like it would get booed by the anti cheese members of the family)
3. Trenton loved investing... and he was always talking about wanting to save money for my kids so they wouldn't be poor like we are. And the idea hit me that every year we could all pitch money into a CDs in his honor that would only be touched when on of our (my siblings and I) children reach the age for college... and ONLY to be used as tuition money. This could be a Tradition we could keep going with for awhile. (again, slightly less cheese factor to the anti cheesers, but I could see it happening. )
Any suggestions here? I hope I gave enough information to get your thoughts rolling, but this is VERY important to me... and I'm not able to think of anything solid enough to present the idea to my family yet!
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Comments: 30
Definately purchase gifts for those in need in your brother's name. Or, sponsor your time or money in a program like Big Brother/Big Sister.
There are many out there who would benefit from a good person... it could turn around a life that may already be headed in the direction of drug abuse.
HH
The second idea is a good one but the gifts would probably have to be approved by the hospital or rehab center.
I really love the first idea. It sounds like it would be a fun way to deal with his loss.
But, I'm debating weather I should gift my mom a picture I just found of him. I recently went to Walgreens and got my 6/7 year old film developed... finally! And I found a picture of Trenton with his back to the camera in bed with nothing but his Tightie Whities on! Arggggg. I told my sister about it and we can't figure who might have taken the picture... and we can't figure if we should frame it and give it to my mom (silly thing is, my mom could appreciate the fact that it is one of the few teenage pics we have of him... hehe) Or maybe I should just slip it into the album she has of him and let it be at that. I don't know... like I said, a rough year.
10!
HH
Tim
The first idea would be fun to do with maybe "cheap" gifts and she if the family member can think of a way Trenton would have use it.
Our family had a loss last year right before Christmas my cousin took his life and I can empithize with your families sorrow. I'll keep your family in my thoughts&prayers. ~~HH
My family htinks I am crazy for talking about what alchohol does to you.
They think I'm nuts because I don't drink-
I grew up in a very abusive home and it was because of an alchoholic father. So when I got married that was one of my requirements. No drinking - if you can't handle that then we can;t be married.
He stopped drinking and we are still married 15 years later. I don't care what anyone says- one drink is ok once in a while.
Nope not for me- ONe drink is not ok
One drinkleads to another and youbecome like my father adn my older brothers. I won't risk it I won't take chances.
Anyway I will be praying for you.
HH
HH
HH
Keep on doing what makes you happy regardless of what anyone else in your family thinks.
To keep his memory alive, you could give your kids a Trenton gift every year. It would give you an opening to tell them a story about why he would like this gift and want to share it with them.
Your family is absolutely right, people will do drugs no matter what. But if ONE person doesn't overdose, all your actions are worth it. If ONE person decides to quit taking drugs, all your actions are worth it. If you talk to 10,000 people and ONE person listens, that's a big accomplishment.
HH
pif