Keeping safe

I dont watch talk shows too much but today i had very strong back aches

and as i had a lot of exercise in the morning walking the dog i allowed myself

to stretch  on the sofa and watched "Montel" , he had on his show the mother of the 11 year old  girl

Carlie, who was abducted ,beaten , raped and murdered, in Florida  .

Then there was a 13 year old girl who was saved from a serial child molester thanks to her father telling her what to do after watching the abduction of Carlie on film as a security camera had recorded it.

Too late for Carlie who was brutually murdered 

three minutes and her step father would have picked her up and taken her home

no one would have heard  about her , she would have been alive.

The girl who was abducted by a sex offender in an elevator in a hotel where she was staying with friends and family was told by her father to fight and scream

she did just that

on the same show a young woman told her ordeal how she had convinced a rapist who had abducted her to let her go by not fighting or screaming.

 I suppose it depends on the following factor:

If you are out   where no one can hear you , you should try to befriend the criminal, talk to him

try to make him see you as a friend rather than a threat, which is what the young woman did who lived to tell the tale

If on the other hand you are somewhere where people can hear you , scream and draw attention to the person , try to run away.

In any case it is recommended to educate your children about what to do if someone tried to abduct them

I think it is important not to scare children but to educate them as the father of the girl who escaped said, he has educated his girls how to behave in such a case

The girl thanked Carlie's mother for going on television with the story and making people aware.

A sad fact was how slow the police was to react to Carlie's disappearance telling the mother the child might have gone somewhere to test limits etc.

The police should treat each case where a child disappears seriously

I also think with the mobile phones that should be possible to always maintain communication with your child, and to know where he or she is.

I think boys are just as likely to fall victim to abductions, and so both should be educated

but i can not forget the confrontation i had in my son's pervious school..

There was a violent teacher, and the  principal was obviously covering up

i confronted the principal and was met with strong opposition from one of the teachers who

almost assaulted me violently

later on , about a year later after i had my son out of that horrible school there was a news item on television , again very interesting as i never watch t.v. anymore but i just happened to have turned on the t.v. that evening.

it turned out that this teacher i had an argument with ,not the violent one but one who also had complaints about him, had attacked a child sexually, and then they discovered a whole can of worms that he had been charged with child abuse in another town and no one bothered to check his record because his sister was the principal of the school..

The principal is still working there..despite the fact she obviously covered up for her sick  brother

i had a talk with her once before that came out, she is in total denial land, and unfortunately no one in the system thinks there is anything wrong with her continuing to work ..

an Italian mother told me there is an expression in Italian :

"the fish smells from its head"

some people are burrying their heads in the sand and meanwhile children are not protected from

dangerous people, but i suppose this principal had only ONE brother so i suppose they thought nothing wrong with letting her stay..  

I  try to always go with my children to their various activities

the teacher is no longer in the system however we must remember that the most cases 

of child abuse happen either in the family or in school or after school activities

there is not enough screening of people who work with children 

and so we must educate our children that they have a right to say no and to inform parents

about anything that seems suspicious or threatening.

on top of all ,

i was attacked once myself by a young boy when i was 20  while bird watching and he threatened to kill me unless i did what he said

i was in a nature reserve with no one near when i found myself thrown in the pool of water

and threatened with a rock

i talked to him till finally some people showed up and he escaped without me being seriously hurt but for a pain in my head where he hit me with a stone

i was lucky because a week later a young woman my age had been found murdered very near that place..

I am glad i insisted on pressing charges and it turned out he was a known offender even though he was a young boy that way i know he was not the one who killed the other girl

since then i never go to nature without a dog

and watch my kids

in fact i am going to go looking for them now.

Lets not forget though the most dangerous people to children are often in the family or neighberhood or even school

and the most dangerous people of all are those in denial

if someone has a history of violence, he will not change

single moms especially should be very careful who they let in the door

and those who are married to men who are violent should show those men the door out

The most dangerous place for children can be their home or school

that is the sad truth often denied..

Listen to the children, look for signs of anxiety

and keep the communication flowing

that is what i am going to do anyway

Have a safe summer !