I read an incredible article this morning about mother-daughter relationships in the NY Times. It was an article I wish I’d been interviewed for – with my mom!
The article discussed mother-daughter relationships today compared with the relationships that our mothers may be had with our grandmothers. It talked about how girls today get married and have babies later, and so they have more time after received their education, to bond with their mothers in a way that they couldn’t or didn’t while they were teenagers. Even while in college, young women call their mothers several times a day or even have their mothers come to school to help them with errands on a regular basis such as grocery shopping.
The reason this article reminded me of, well, me is because my mother and I have always had a close relationship, even when I was a teenager. I always called her, I always talked to her and I always felt comfortable with her, not just as a mother but as a friend. When I was in college, my mother could always expect a few phone calls a day from me. Even now that I have a full-time job, at 22, I still call my mom several times a day, even if it is just to say hi. We make sure to see one another at least once a week although sometimes and most often it is more than once a week. I vent to her and cry to her and laugh with her and smile with her and share in the good and bad moments with her.
As much as I hate to admit it, even Paris Hilton claims closeness with her mother. She has been quoted as saying that her mother is a rock for her and when she is in a crisis, she calls her mom, not her friends or her boyfriend of the moment.
The article also failed to mention an important television show that was all about mother-daughter relationships and growing up: Gilmore Girls. In the show, Lorelai and daughter Rory were best friends and always came to one another with issues before going to friends or other relatives or lovers. I was surprised that the article did not talk about Gilmore Girls a little bit. Because of the similarities between this article and the show, I have deemed this new awareness and closeness of mothers and daughters the "Gilmore Girls Phenomenon."
So what do all of you think about the new phenomenon of mother-daughter relationships? Is it healthy? Is the new closeness allowing daughters to learn more important lessons from their mothers for their future or is it hindering moving forward in life? What do you think?
You can read the article from the NY Times HERE.
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Comments: 22
I think it's healthy. I am able to talk to my mom about things that might otherwise be bottled up inside. Yes, I may rely on her more than other women rely on their mothers, but it's also a weird way of teaching me independence.... If that makes sense.
This article definitely hits home for me too. Thanks for sharing!
But thanks for sharing the article!! :)
My mother was never a 'friend' to me. She is a mother. I think back about high school and my college years and realize I've always had much more in common personality, interest, and viewpoint-wise with my father.
My own daughter and I are very close and have always been since the day she was born. She is 31 now and said she will always be there for me. We are best girlfriends. She has a closeness with her own daughters growing up as well.
However my oldest granddaughter my daughter's neice is becoming more and more detached from her mother as she grows up and sees her mom not seeming to care much how she feels or what her interests are. Instead she trys to mold her into her own dreams. I think it is more about communication and listening not some really new trend. I think that throughout history some mothers and daughters do not grow close but further apart and others get more love, encouragement and nurturing and so bond with lasting relationship with their mom. It is about communication both ways
There have been closer and further apart times. I visit twice a year - we live on different coasts of the US.
I think that having a relationship with your mom is great. Mine just turned toxic. I still love her but I have to keep her at arms length. When I don't, she is ready to jump in and save the day.
I have gotten much closer to my Mom over the past few years. As a teenager and young adult I resented my Mom for almost everything, like a lot of teens. As I have gotten married and started my own family I have realized how much wisdom my Mom has. We share the same religious beliefs, political beliefs and values and that gives us plenty to talk about and share. The motherly role has been replaced by more of friend role and I love it!
Is there any comparable interest in studying the father-son relationship?
We are learning, exchanging ideas, throwing out the old stuff that didnt work, keeping what does, and putting it to work. And it feels good. Good article.
We don't share anything that is really personal, but they always feel free to talk to me on all sorts of topics. I rarely ask questions, I let them tell me what they think is valuable. There have been times when they've said, about something else, that they would never like to discuss some subjects with me, I think that's fine.
The article was great, I read it at the time.