When Unconditional Love Become Dangerous

As Christians, we are taught to love unconditionally.  We are taught to give for the sake of giving, with no expectation of anything in return.  We are taught to give until it hurts.  We are taught to forgive as Jesus did. 

But when does this kind of loving become dangerous?  Or does it?

In a perfect world, perfect love works wonderfully.  But we don't live in a perfect world.

Women are scarred from sexual abuse they suffered as children.  They grow up attracting abusers.  What happens when they love unconditionally, forgive everything, and give with no expectations?  They suffer further abuse.

What happens to people who stay in miserable relationships, giving to the point of losing themselves, and never get anything back?

Does Jesus really want us to live this way on earth in the hopes of our eternal reward in Heaven?

Some Christians would say this IS what Jesus wants.  Just as He gave His life for us, we are to also live sacrificial lives.

But I think Jesus wants more for us.  I think Jesus wants us to be wise and discerning in our relationships with others.  And I believe Jesus wants us to love ourselves first because until we do, we cannot really love anyone else in a  healthy manner...nor can they love us in a healthy manner.

I know women who have lived for years in abusive marriages, thinking this is what their Christian walk would have them to do.  I beg to differ.  I believe anyone who lives in constant fear cannot fully serve God or her fellow man.  Only when she steps out of the situation that brings such fear can she begin healing so that she can be the person that God intended for her to be.

Unconditional love has it's place.  God gave us hearts to express this kind of love.  But we must remember that he also gave us a brain, and He expects us to use it to become wise and discerning in matters of the heart.