Everything happens for a reason? We say this because we want so badly for it to be so. Surely somehow there will be justice in the world, there will be balance. Something awful happens; something good will come along. We wish this were true.
Things happen. Really, that's all we can say. In the face of Awful loss, you think, someday there will be an "Ah!" Someday this will all be balanced out, justice will be meted, sudden calamity will be followed – surely! – by sudden joy.
This is what I believed when I was betrayed, and I waited for justice to come rolling down from the heavens, for lightning to strike, for the clouds to be torn asunder with the wrath of god. With my own rage I could have made the earth tremble.
But no thunder rolled, no lightning struck, and the only earthquake going on was internal, a horrible blackness and violence within.
Now, years later, the "ah" is a small thing, a breath.
"Ah," take in a breath.
"Ah," the earth is turning still.
"Ah," there's a spot of green grass.
Am I not stronger? Am I not better for all this?
No.
Only this: I am alive.
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Comments: 3
My sympathies to your personal injustice. Sometimes the unjust reap their rewards, but no, not always.
You can begin with understanding that the idea of balance is from a religion. There is no balance in the universe,
The earth is not half water, half land, the cosmos itself is more space than matter and so on.
The only constant is movement and change.
The idea of justice seems to have no foundation, but certainly is used to achieve various ends.
Lynn,
One of the false little truisms is that if you survive it you become stronger.
I disagree with this since devastating events and experiences frequently render people helpless and broken even as they are called survivors.
How can you move forward?
1. Find people who have, the ones who managed to survive something similar and came out whole, happy, successful and empty of a need for revenge, discover how they did it, see if it can work for you.
2. Make your own recipie for recovery.
3. Nothing wrong with feeling quite awful for a while.