How do you handle the spirituality of parenting?

Speaking of Faith has a track record of making people think, but the subject of "Spirituality of Parenting" really struck me. I see so many new parents in my community and at work looking forward and trying to make the best possible decisions around raising their children. They're under constant messaging from their families (usually surrounding traditions), friends (particularly those closely involved with the child's life), and other parents (who hasn't seen competitive parenting!) while trying to do the best they can for their kids. Now take all that pressure and apply it to a hot button: Religion, faith, spirituality.

From The Spirituality of Parenting:

More and more people in our time are disconnected from religious institutions, at least for part of their lives. Others are religious and find themselves creating a family with a spouse from another tradition or no tradition at all. And the experience of parenting tends to raise spiritual questions anew. We sense that there is a spiritual aspect to our children's natures and wonder how to support and nurture that. The spiritual life, our guest says, begins not in abstractions, but in concrete everyday experiences. And children need our questions as much as our answers.

After listening to some of the first person reflections I wondered how others are addressing this, so I open this - carefully - for discussion:

How are you experiencing and addressing questions of spirituality as a parent, grandparent, or guardian influence upon a child?
What is your role in helping children discover spirituality?
Can we inspire or nurture children with spirituality?

_____________________
Julia Schrenkler
American Public Media Interactive Producer

Comments: 8

WM H. Jun 15, 2006, 4:13pm EDT

You pose an interesting question (s). I will ask one, or several, of my own that I feel is integral to this discussion.

What is, or what do you mean by,spirituality?

Are spirituality and religiosity the same thing? If not, what is the difference?

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Julia Schrenkler Jun 15, 2006, 4:26pm EDT

That's a tremendous clarification, WM H. and I would leave it to those who wish to discuss this to decide what it means for them... and of course, how they approach it in parenting.

Should people use religious traditions to convey spirituality, or encourage children to explore many religious avenues? Does religion offer some speaking points to life issues, like death?

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Aileen F. Jun 16, 2006, 1:25am EDT

I taught my children as much as I could about many religions and spiritual paths, telling them that one day they'd have to decide what works for them. When their dad and stepmom started taking them to church, we discussed what they learned there and how that fit into our own beliefs.

I think people should teach what they believe. It gives their kids a base from which to begin their own search for answers.

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Julia Schrenkler Jun 16, 2006, 8:40am EDT

Aileen, sounds like you have very open communication with them. How old are your children now? Are they aligning their base beliefs with a particular religion or spiritual path already?

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Aileen F. Jun 16, 2006, 11:32am EDT

They are 21 and 23 now. The 21 year old is like me and follows no formal religion. The 23 year old feels more comfortable in church and attends occasionally.

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Julia Schrenkler Jun 16, 2006, 2:41pm EDT

Thank you for following up on this, Aileen. It would be interesting to hear their perspective on how your methods helped them find their spiritual path, and if they plan to become parents and use what you taught them. Do you think you could do the same as a grandparent?

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Paul J. Nov 26, 2006, 7:29am EST

I'm a father of two adopted children. My "academic" history is of the sort that annoys many people--graduated with high honors, without having to work at it all that hard, etc. My son is classified; not profoundly learning disabled, but at the same time, unable to make the most basic of connections, and often unable to retain what he's learned. In other words, whatever his learning style is, he's a square peg in a succession of round holes. I've found it a profoundly spiritually challenging (i.e. humbling) experience for me to watch him struggle, and to help him struggle through grade school and now high school. He has taught me what the 'school world' looks like from the other side. I no longer assume that everyone has the same intellectual capacity as me, and I realize that so many have an infinitely greater emotional capacity than I. I wonder whether other parents have had similar experiences? (There's so much more to be said about this... but I'm trying to keep my post brief.)

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Cynthia S. Nov 26, 2006, 8:32am EST

Prior to listening to the Speaking of Faith radio program on spirituality and parenting, I always felt guilty about not specifically teaching my children about religion. While I take them to church, my Protestant Christian faith is so much a part of who I am as a person that formally teaching them about it felt like instructing them about what it is to be a person or a woman. After hearing the show, I now realize that I have taught them far more than I could ever realize about religion and spirituality by my actions and way of being in the world. Religious instruction is important, but for parents, how religion and spirituality are expressed, intentionally and unintentionally, is the most important and lasting lesson of all. My children may not be able to identify their approach to living as expressing specific religious ideals, but those ideals are as ingrained as their identities as male and female.

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How do you handle the spirituality of parenting?

Comments: 8

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