by j - Frugal Mom - r.
Member since:
March 28, 2007

Am I The Only One Who Is Paranoid?

August 08, 2009 08:39 PM EDT (Updated: August 08, 2009 08:40 PM EDT)
views: 181 | comments: 39

Now that I have a little one in the house again, I am finding that my motherly fear of something happening to my child has grown tremendously. Whenever the baby is quiet or sleeping for a long time without making any noise, I have to go put a hand on his chest to make sure that he is breathing.

I did this when Roshane was little, and when Sky was little as well, but it is worse this time around. I think it might be because of Sky's fever seizure episode.

When Sky was about 18 months old, we went to Denmark for 3 months, and all of a sudden he spiked a fever. I undressed him, and I was holding him in my arms, while I was talking to my sister-in-law and my brother. All of a sudden he started having a seizure, and then he turned blue and stopped breathing. It was horrifying, and I don't know what I would have done if my sister-in-law (who is a nurse) and my brother had not been there. My brother called 911, and my sister-in-law started giving Sky mouth to mouth while I was holding him. By the time the ambulance arrived Sky had started breathing again, although his breathing was very irregular.

This episode has definitely made me a very paranoid mom, and for a long time Sky slept in my bed just so that I could keep an eye and a hand on him (of course he is now a big Mommy's boy).

With baby Emmett, it seems that I have really come to realize how fragile life really is, and I keep checking on him. Just now he had been sleeping in the stroller for two hours without making a noise, and I just caught myself going over there to put a hand on his chest to check that he was breathing for the third time.

Am I the only one who is a worry mom?

Did you ever go check that your kids were breathing, when they were babies?

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Comments: 39

Bridget ♥ Aug 8, 2009, 8:45pm EDT
You are not the only one! I used to do the same thing, sometimes I would even give them a little push/nudge to see if they would react! It's a MOM thing and it's totally natural!

My kids are 8 and 5 and I still do it!
j - Frugal Mom - r. Aug 8, 2009, 8:53pm EDT
Bridget, I give them a nudge once in a while as well:)
You betcha I did. My oldest daughter used to sleep so quietly and soundly, that I used to put my finger in front of her nose just to ensure I felt air from her nostrils. Not a paranoid parent at all, just a watchful and protective one like most good parents should be.
j - Frugal Mom - r. Aug 8, 2009, 8:54pm EDT
Henry, I just had my husband go check on the little one, since he is still sleeping:) Dad's can be worry dads as well, can't they?
Kat W. Aug 8, 2009, 8:46pm EDT
Nope to the first question and many times to the second.
I still do it James is 3. Megan and Nicholas I did it for I don't know how long.
Sandra H. Aug 8, 2009, 8:49pm EDT
I used to do it all the time, you are not alone on this one!
Lisa C. Aug 8, 2009, 8:51pm EDT
I did the same thing. Many times. I remember waking up in a panic the first time my boys slept through the night.

That must have been so unbelievably scary to go through that with Sky. I can't even imagine.
j - Frugal Mom - r. Aug 8, 2009, 8:55pm EDT
I have the baby in the bassinet right next to me, so I only need to put a hand out to check:)

I cannot even begin to explain how terrifying it was with Sky, absolutely horrifying.
Heather C. Aug 8, 2009, 8:58pm EDT
Heck, I do that with my husband, I watch to make sure his chest is rising and falling when he is sleeping, as well as my daughter. I think it is natural to make sure everyone is alright. My husband has a slow heartbeat and I worry he will have a heart attack while asleep.

I always had the crib in my room so I could be close enough to help if something went wrong. Back when I had my babies there were no monitors you could buy.
CyberGwen ! Aug 9, 2009, 3:57pm EDT
Heather I do that to Art too. Just this morning he was sleeping so soundly that I poked him to make sure he was still with us. I don't think that he liked me at all right then.
Janet H. Aug 8, 2009, 9:13pm EDT
I was just as paranoid with my 6 kids. When they would sleep for longer than usual, instead of catching up on my rest, I would be tiptoeing into their rooms to feel their little bodies to make sure they were breathing. And they always were. However, my 2nd grandchild died of SIDS at the age of 3 months with no warning at all. Another grandbaby got the RSV virus and quit breathing but was revived and taken to the hospital and she survived and is now a healthy child.
Michelle W. Aug 8, 2009, 9:14pm EDT
You are definitely not the only one! Even with my granddaughter at 5 and my grandson at almost 2 I still go check on them if they get too quite or even before I go to bed!
My youngest is 7, and I still freak out if they sleep in too much past their normal wake up time, thinking something happened, or they got sick, or what not.
Renita P. Aug 8, 2009, 9:19pm EDT
I've had to go check on my 5 year old many times too because she's the one who sleeps in. My oldest wouldn't know what sleeping in means!!
Renita P. Aug 8, 2009, 9:19pm EDT
I think your worries are understandable, especially after what you went through with Skye. I had the same paranoias when my kids were babies. Had nightmares too. I think it's largely due to hormones out of balance because they leveled out as my hormones leveled out.
Gul Dixon Aug 8, 2009, 9:21pm EDT
I used to tiptoe into the room and listen to their breathing in the silence. I think all mothers get paranoid. I believe it is given. You had a very traumatic experience, so you are scared now. I'm not surprised. My youngest, the baby. is 33 now. I still time to time call her and check on her. She went to Russia on business couple months ago, I haven't slept through the night for 2 weeks till she came back.
Marianne R. Aug 8, 2009, 9:35pm EDT
10 for you. I don't have kids.
Kjersti W. Aug 8, 2009, 9:36pm EDT
I am not a mom, but I have always been more of a parent than a sister helping raise my brother who is seven years younger than me. He was born three months early and was on oxygen his first year. Until he was three and had his adnoids removed we knew he was still breathing when sleeping because he snored like crazy. I do not worry about him when I am not near him, but I found this summer when we slept together in the tent I kept checking if he was breathing and he is 15!!, but he is such a shallow breather you can barely even feel his chest rise when he is sleeping.
Sherrie H. Aug 8, 2009, 10:11pm EDT
You can't be the only one - I am that way with my nieces, and they are 5 and 7. When I wake up, I go and check on them to make sure they are okay. I would be scared after the experience like you had with Sky. I think you just have to trust God to watch over your baby and try not to worry.
Yes, I remember doing that to my daughter.
Janet "Jax" B. Aug 8, 2009, 10:41pm EDT
I did that more with my daughter, than I did with my son. Angela was smaller and more fragile. She had so many medical issues as a baby, that I was constinately checking on her.
Jane C. Aug 8, 2009, 10:50pm EDT
It doesn't go away. I fear something bad happening to my daughter and my grandchildren
Sue * Aug 8, 2009, 11:40pm EDT
You are so very normal. My son was a very good sleeper. I remember the first time he slept not only through the night, but until 10:00 a.m.! I didn't wake up because I was so tired and he didn't cry...but, when I did wake up and he wasn't up yet, I was terrified to walk into his room. He was perfectly fine, just sleeping late. Now, I do the same thing with my grandkids. I watch to make sure they are breathing.
Sophie S. Aug 9, 2009, 1:58am EDT
I think a lot of moms do it. I did that a lot with the twins when they were babies, but then again they were premature and stopped breathing all through the night. They lived with heart monitors attached to them till they were almost two, so they usually let us know when we had to go over and shake them to breathe.

Even if that hadn't been an issue though, I know we still would have done it. Babies really are little miracles.
Carla B. Aug 9, 2009, 3:13am EDT
It took me a long time to be able to sleep through the night after Elliott was born. He slept through the night early, but I never could. Even now I still go check on him at least every 5-6 hours if I don't hear him on the baby monitor and I don't see him move within 3-4 minutes on the video monitor.

My mom never stopped checking on us as long as we still lived at home. That means that she seriously still checks on my 24 year old sister if she isn't up when my mom gets home from work (my mom works third shift).
Digital Diva S. Aug 9, 2009, 9:13am EDT
I think it's a natural thing to "worry " about your babies. And not just when they are babies - the ages change and the worries change. I remember waking when my kids were teens and out with the car and have a panic attack because I felt they had just been in an accident - they hadn't but the worries continue.

It was around those teen years when I learned about "God's waste basket". A bunch of our church kids had gone on a trip to Colorado to ski and got caught in one hell of a storm. A friend standing vigil with me by the phone said not to worry - if you've asked God to take care of our kids once - that is all you need to do. When you keep repeating that prayer over and over again you are clogging up Gods air space. Once you say that prayer toss it into God's waste basket and let God handle it. Our kids came home, tired, cold and scared but they came home.
CyberGwen ! Aug 9, 2009, 3:59pm EDT
Life is fragile, precious and such a gift. You aren't paranoid at all j r, like I mentioned on Heather's comment, I even do it with Art.
kimberly g. Aug 9, 2009, 6:02pm EDT
my daughter is 15 and I still do it! Lol!
Monica H. Aug 9, 2009, 8:48pm EDT
This is so normal. I did it with my kids, especially when they were infants. I was constantly going in to look at their chests or hear a breathing noise.
Pam H. Aug 9, 2009, 10:13pm EDT
J, you are certainly not alone. I use to put my fingers underneath my boys nose just to make sure they were breathing. I think this is normal. Life is precious and we never know when one of our loved ones will be taken from us.
Rose H. Aug 10, 2009, 11:02am EDT
Oh ya, I think moms all over the world do this. Especially when they are so little and defenseless you act like a lioness protecting her cub. You need re-assurance that all is well.
Brittney R. Aug 10, 2009, 11:28am EDT
I still do it. Not only do I check his breathing, but then I just sit there and watch him sleep. It's a very peaceful thing to watch.
Jan S. Aug 10, 2009, 1:39pm EDT
Did you ever go check that your kids were breathing, when they were babies?

Yes! If I could see her chest rising, I pulled back the blanket. One of my close friends lost her healthy 2 month old son to SIDS and I was terrified of losing my baby girl. Over time, I began to relax. I think it's normal and even wise to check on our babies.
Teresa W. Aug 12, 2009, 6:57am EDT
I did it too. In fact, I checked to be sure my daughter was breathing until she was 19 and moved out pretty much! And I wish I was joking when I say that but I'm not. I would listen at her room while she was sleeping to be sure she was still breathing. I was a worrier to the max!
Heather ~of the Whippets~ M. Aug 13, 2009, 5:25pm EDT
I don't have any human children and am never going to, so I don't know whether I would be a paranoid mom-type or not.
Abigal Ja Aug 16, 2009, 12:06am EDT
I use to sit up and watch my children as they slept in the cradle all the time. Many times I fell asleep sitting up watching them.
misty t. Aug 27, 2009, 9:35am EDT
no we all have done this, it's in our blood to worry,even when my 2 oldest are in school I can't wait to pick them up from school and bring them home where I know they are going to be safe
Alex In Wonderland Sep 1, 2009, 2:06pm EDT
I got more worried with each kid, instead of less!

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