Hello Gather friends,
In relation to Walter C., my man, he has always had well intentions and I told him to feel free to post on Gather to vent and express his feelings. He is the type of guy to be reserved anyway and I thought this would be a good outlet for him.
I know many of you are very supportive of Walter, but tonight, he told me, he had posted an article about "What people thought about DCS" and if they were truly trying to help children and what their views were about the aspect. Don't get me wrong; he told me many were respectful about the article, but one had stated : "I'm a DCS worker and I think it is in your best interest to do what you can to get your daughter back". I guess this sentence can be taken many ways. Some may perceive it as a friendly way, but with all going on, we have both been a little touchy about the issue. Then again, he perceived it as a rude comment and as if someone was saying, he isn't doing what he should be doing to get her back. Obviously, this DCS worker that responded hasn't read most of his articles or they would know, things have been moving forward and so forth.
I guess my biggest rant would be... some are very respectful toward him and the way he expresses himself on Gather about the situation, but some I guess can be rude and I tried telling him that. He was so deeply hurt by this person, that he told me, he deleted the article and no longer wants to go on Gather.
How can I encourage him that Gather is a good place and that just a few people trying to (put it nicely) pee you off isn't worth leaving Gather? He is upset by it and now he thinks everyone is upset with him and about his posts regarding Gracee.
I told him it was a good outlet to express himself, but now after what has happened, he is discouraged by how the feedback or response happened and it has upset him.
I hope he doesn't upset anyone by his posts. I thought it was a good idea for him to express himself on Gather, but please tell me if I'm wrong.
Thank You!
Michelle C.
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Comments: 71
And, if some people, don't understand, there's nothing you can do.
I've had great experiences with people here on Gather until recently.
But, I won't go into that. For, I really want to move on with my life.
Anywho, he shouldn't let others push him off the site.
He has to vent, it's good for the soul, and releases stress.
It would not mean I was upset with anyone, rather I saw it as a place open to discussion. I read the article and it was not necessary to delete it. He has an opinion and should feel free to express it openly. Best wishes, I hope he changes his mind.
give your friend some time, and maybe it would be best for him to only allow friends to comment on his messages.
Mooch
I enjoyed reading his posts about Grace and how he felt and how excited he was about her walking and stuff.
I read that article, but it must have been before that comment your talking about.
I would miss him if he stopped
but he shouldnt let people keep him off here,
there will always be nasty people
and in gather thats they allow us to DELETE them lol
something we cant do in real life!!!
Dont fret over this person, you have a baby coming and Grace
you have more important things to deal with them or anyone's opinion that in the end doesnt count for very much
Good luck.
Freedom of speech carries the responsibility of accepting the consequences. While we are free to speak or write our opinons, others are equally free to voice disagreement.
Hang in there, Walter!!! There are alot of good people here!!!!
Angel
Good luck to you both, my friends.
I hope he comes back - I enjoyed hearing about the visits with your beautiful little girl.
But most people are nice and caring.
A comment can be misunderstood. That is so easy with email and Internet. You can write a quick comment and hit send before noticing it could be read two ways.
Regardless, everyone who posts stuff on internet forums is going to encounter responses that they don't like. You can choose to ignore them and continue on the forum or decide you don't want to deal with the responses you don't like.
1) not everyone will see things in the same light as he does, and differing opinions are what "community" brings to the table.
2) Because this is a "written" communication, you may not always take what has been written, in the same sense that it was presented. If you were speaking on the phone or face to face, it would be much easier to guage what a person means by the sound of their voice, or their body language, but in the venue of "online community" it is not so simple.
I did not take this persons comment, as you presented it here, to be meant as any form of judgement, I understood it to be an encouragement to continue to do as DCS demands, so as to speed along the ultimate goal of getting Gracee back where she belongs, with the parents that love her.
Though I have not personally had any involvement with DCS, I have had a couple of friends who did, and I know from their experiences, that once DCS enters the picture, you will be forced to jump through hoops, (whether right or wrong), in order to regain custody of your child. They claim this is in the childs best interests, and though that may be the case, I am sure many here on gather have read or heard the news stories of incidences where DCS has dropped the ball, and children have been left to pay the ultimate price.
Tell Walter not to forget, most people here on gather have you both and Gracee, in their prayers, and are hoping for a rapid conclusion to this. We look forward to the news that Gracee is once again with her Mom and Dad, and also with her new soon to be born sibling.
But who knows, maybe the respondent you mentioned wasn't trying to be rude.
Happy Halloween. Hope you have a great weekend.
But I can say this: Walter, this individual really knows nothing about you or your situation. Even if she had read this particular article, and the others you wrote, she still has no real knowledge. Therefore, you should consider the source. Or, perhaps your skin was just a little thinner than usual that day. The comment as quoted could just as easily be taken as positive; why don't you try to see it as encouragement? After all, government workers, especially those who deal with low-income families and/or children, see a lot of heartbreaking situations and still try their hardest to do what's best for those involved.
In the meantime, please come back and continue to share your story and your thoughts. Someone else out there might be having a similar experience and take heart that they're not alone -- as will you.
Anytime something like this happens it is upsetting for the parents and child.
He should use Gather as a way to get things off his chest but try not to take what people say to heart.
Most people seemed to be very positive.
I didn't read the article you're referring to but it sounds like the DCS worker was put on the defensive for some reason. I hope Walter comes back and can learn to enjoy Gather without so much sensitivity. It really is a good site filled with so many great people.
Come on Walter.....buck up little camper and give it another try!
Maybe this was just a communication problem as it is very hard on here sometimes to understand where a comment is coming from or what the writer means ( in all fairness to the DCS worker)
I would hope that Walter would continue to use gather and accept the fact that, regardless of what he reads, one cannot control other people any more than they can control you. This is a pretty open media and Like someone mentioned, he might not accept comments. But if he does accept them, and if he does not appreciate what he reads, he can give any response he wants just as the commenter did. Like they say about the goose and the gander.
But definitely, I would encourage Walter! He is obviously a sensitive person and that tends to make the cutting comments harder to accept. But we need sensitive people to balance out those who have zero sensitivity.
If he chooses to come back, have him assume that the right way to read comments is the most positive way to read it. He'll be happier that way.