My Mom's Best Friend Has Breast Cancer

Yesterday I headed down to Newport RI to visit with some family. My aunt & uncle had their timeshare this week. My parents were there for two days and my grandma came up from FL. This is my grandma's first time up to MA since my grandfather passed away 5 months ago.

When I was walking with my Dad he told me that one of my Mom's best friends has breast cancer. She's meeting with her doctor today. I don't know what the plans are for treatment. Her sister also had it (and lived).This friend is someone who has known me since birth. My Mom used to work with this friend at my old High School (so this in fact is a former teacher of mine). These two women were pregnant with their first right around the same time (one of those kids being me of course).

This woman only had a year left until she retired. She bought a vacation home with her husband somewhere in the Carolinas I believe. Her daughter just had a baby (the one who is my age). So as you can see she has a lot to live for, a lot to get better for. I'm so grateful she got to go to my wedding shower and the wedding. It must have been so special for her to see me grow up.

My Mom is sad her two best friends are eventually selling their homes in MA and moving on. I told her: "Well now you have three great places to go and visit for free!" She does not see it that way. As many of you know my Mom just retired and this news comes as a blow to her for sure. She could not even bring herself to tell me...I think. She has not even been able to reach her friend via phone since she heard the news. So since it's only been a week I think she's still digesting it.

I know that these days many seem to live after having cancer. One of my best friends had Lymphoma twice and just lived to his 30th Birthday. So I'll be waiting to hear news of treatment. It's tough, I just talked to this person a few weeks ago when she picked up the phone at my Mom's. I'll send her a card once I hear more...but I'm not sure Hallmark makes a "Yep, it's really shitty you have cancer" card.

Comments: 10

Aileen F. Jul 6, 2006, 11:15am EDT

Leah, I don't know the numbers for certain, but I think most women survive breast cancer these days. My mom is a 10+ year survivor. It ws scary, and one of my favorite photos of her is a formal portrait she had taken when her hair had just begun to grow back in. Your Mom is going through a rough time, I hope she settles into her new phase soon!

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Leah G. Jul 6, 2006, 11:24am EDT

Aileen,
Yeah, and her friend is lucky to have such supportive friends & family during this rough patch. :)

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gibbs williams Jul 6, 2006, 11:34am EDT

Leah - Whether your friend survives relatively intact or not a diagnosis particulalry of breast cancer is "shitty" no matter how you cut it.My mother died of it when she was 40 and I was 15. However a relative of mine had it two years ago and is apparently ok. The waiting for the details and then more waiting to see what the effect of any prescribed treatment, is very difficult. In my experience there is a tendency to either avoid {detach} oneself from feelings which often means avoiding the person who has it. This is unfortunate as most people need loving and caring emotional support. If it feels resonant with you I woud either call and or send a personal note and say whatever is on your mind such as "I am saddened to hear about your painful news." Followed up by anything you wish to tell her that is on your heart. Any and all words will be expereinced by her as you care.

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Leah G. Jul 6, 2006, 11:42am EDT

Thanks Gibbs! I will send her a personal note soon, as I don't feel a card would say what I want to say at this time. Also, I've noticed that after the person gets better people forget about them, or don't stay in contact. It's during the recovery and the time after until remission that they need friends and family most.

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Edward Nudelman Jul 6, 2006, 3:30pm EDT

I'm sorry to hear that, Leah. Breast cancer is very treatable if caught early. Two keys are grade (i.e. how aggressive the growth and invasion) and whether it's gone into many of the lymph nodes. I wish her and your mother the very best. An aside, Susan and I have meaning to go to Newport for months. We've heard it's beautiful.

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0000-manoux-0000 Jul 6, 2006, 3:32pm EDT

I wish the lady a good and swift recovery!
She needs all the support she can get!

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Leah G. Jul 6, 2006, 4:00pm EDT

Edward,

Thanks for your kind wishes.

And yes, you and Susan would love Newport. :)

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Leah G. Jul 6, 2006, 4:00pm EDT

Emmanuelle,
Thank you!

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Laurie White Jul 6, 2006, 4:00pm EDT

Leah, I'm so sorry to hear about the diagnosis. I'm sure your note will mean a lot to her right now as well as your mother's friendship. I wish her the best, Leah, and to you and your Mom also as you stay by her side through this.

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Leah G. Jul 6, 2006, 4:04pm EDT

Laurie,

Thank you so much for stopping by this article and for your kind words.

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My Mom's Best Friend Has Breast Cancer

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