It seems everyone around me is working longer and longer hours. My husband used to have the occasional early morning conference call when he needed to be in by 7am. Now that seems to be the norm everyday. My brother is on the first train into Grand Central each day and can usually be reached at his desk by 6:15am. And a recent New York Times article talked about the increase in commuter train ridership as employees are getting to work earlier and earlier so as to be able to work with colleagues and clients in Asia who are ending their day just as some of us are waking up! So where does that leave any room for you? How can you fit in changes to your career when you can barely make it to the gym, to your child's recital, to your in-law's house for dinner, or your friend's big birthday bash. Not to mention getting some real sleep and eating a half decent meal. Well, there's a way to work things out and not feel so crazed and it doesn't mean learning how to balance everything.
First, identify your priorities. According to the book, Coming Up for Air by Beth Sawi, figure out the five things that matter most to you. Your list might look like this: health, family, career fulfillment, friends, financial stability. It doesn't matter what is on your list just as long as they are truly your absolute, must-have priorities.
Second, evaluate what is in your life right now and see how it matches up to your stated priorities. You'd be surprised by how much time you're spending on things, that when it comes down to it, you really don't care that much about. Let go of the guilt about what you think you should be doing and instead live in integrity and align yourself with your priorities.
Finally, stay in the moment with whatever it is that you're doing at the time. If family time is one of your priorities then make sure that you're there with your family when you're physically present. Liz Lange, president of Liz Lange Maternity, says in the April/May issue of Pink Magazine, "Before I would be half playing with my kids, half checking my Blackberry. But now I'm down on the floor with them and everything works much better."
Replace the word "balance" with "choice" and see that you need to choose your priorities and then choose to do those things that support your priorities. You're not supposed to balance it all. You're supposed to pick and choose and when you do, be really engaged and fully drinking in the beauty of the moment.
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Annemarie Segaric is a respected career change coach, motivational speaker, and author. Tip #47 Learn to trust your decisions in the face of conflict or disagreement. Someone will always disagree with your career choice. This is simply an indication that your decision wouldn't suit them, NOT and indication that it wouldn't suit you! Want the other 106 tips? Visit www.segaric.com/products.shtml.
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Comments: 4
I urge clients to turn off the email and IM pings and look around at what they're missing in the rest of their lives. Kudos to Liz Lange for learning this and to you for reminding us all.