Love In A Box, One Woman's View - Part 3

Computer love, relationships via modem are not just the wave of the future. These opportunities are here now and every single person should take advantage of possible romance for just a few dollars a month. Add a webcam and some candles and VOILA! You have...ummm...well, I'm not exactly sure what you have. I know what I ended up with but lets read some testimonials from other unsatisfied love bugs:

Ima Lone, metro Detroit, states - "Sure, I met someone online. We met, we clicked, after three months he moved in. A month after that he moved out and took all my stuff with him! Police are looking for anyone with information and I'd really just like my dog back, she needs her medication. He can keep the thimble collection!"

Another former online dating member (she would only give me her name as Changed Teams) retorts - "Men are jerks! I mean, I always KNEW they were but after some of the clowns I met online I couldn't stand it anymore so I found me a girlfriend instead. Women are much more understanding and polite and they leave the seat down! And no, I did not beat that man with a crowbar. It was just someone that looked like me, I have an airtight alibi! Man, where's my publicist! I specifically demanded no questions about assault and battery!" (Interview terminated abruptly, guest stormed off, throwing furniture at anyone with a third leg.)

The saddest testimonial of all comes from Lotta Valium. She agreed to give us her testimonial and after I asked the simple question "Will you please tell us your experiences with online dating services?", her eyes glazed over and she began twitching. The twitches turned violent and she began foaming at the mouth until she fell to the floor unconscious. Medics transported her to the nearest hospital where she lays in a vegetative state and her doctors give a poor prognosis.

I've shared my experiences, those unfortunate souls mentioned above shared theirs. Maybe some of you will do as I did and pull the plug on online dating. Having my flanks checked by the last jerk convinced me that meeting someone via my computer was a bad idea. I deleted my profiles, cancelled subscriptions, and took down my pictures. No more. Having a special someone is not worth this torture because I can always get more cats.

Then a funny thing happened on the way to Myspace.com.

I came in contact with a man who appeared normal (his name is being withheld because, to be blunt, I found him first!). He's friendly, funny, intelligent, sweet, employed, has a roof over his head, and very sexy. His car's leather seats also have bun warmers (he has a hard time prying me out of the car--hey, it's February in Michigan, a warm butt is a priceless thing). Yeah, I know, I know...it sounds too good to be true. I'm sure it is. We've been meeting up and quasi-dating for a few weeks now and it feels like I'm going slower than a snail on morphine.

But it's a start, a little glimmer of hope. The feeling that he's suddenly going to sprout a second head and tentacles is fading. Maybe, just maybe, there is something to this online dating thing after all.

That my friends, is all I have to say on that.  For now.