This afternoon I got an urgent message from my friend Karen on my cell phone asking her to call when I got home from work. She knows I won't use my cell phone during the working hours but I do check it on my 15 minute breaks.
I called her back on the drive home and she asked me to help her find a picture of the girl her husband was dating. She got her full name from one of the girls that her husband works with and heard that she was on facebook.com. She came over to my house and with the name in hand we found her right away.
She was really upset when the image popped up on the screen and she kind of forced me out of my computer chair. I went over and sat in the living room while she called out details to me as I watched television. This girl is 20 years old she said to me and then kept looking through her details on the page, looking for evidence against her husband. She kept looking at the computer for around half an hour and finally printed the page out and came over to sit on the couch with me. She asked if I had anything to drink in the house. I told her I am sorry but I don't. She did not have anything to say to me for a long while so I gave her short hug and I told her I was sorry.
I walked her to the door and I watched her leave. When I walked back inside the house I sat at the computer and I looked at the images of the girl on the screen. She looked like an average 20 year old college girl. She was very beautiful had lots of friends on the site and belonged to many clubs and organizations. I wonder how she met Karen's husband who is about 18 years older than she is and what did they talk about? Where they having sex already and did he really think he could hide his girlfriend from his wife?
I went out to walk the dogs because I could not help but wonder how many of those profiles I saw on match.com were of this same type of jerk with a wife at home. I always thought that Karen had a good husband and when I remembered that they had not had sex in four years I sort of know why. Her husband is content to play video games in the living room when he gets home from work and she stays upstairs watching television. They seemed perfectly happy because Karen does not like sex anyway but I have never met a man that did not like sex. Her husband is a good looking guy and always seemed to me like the kind of man you could trust to go out drinking with the guys. I wonder when he had time to date?
I got home and I did my weight training and my thoughts kept lingering, wondering if men just don't want to be with just one woman. I am working so hard on my diet and fitness right now hoping to be able to get into shape and meet a man that might not just want to be with me. I think the man that is just with one woman is rare thing, in the future a girl should be able to get a low-jack system for her partner's penis!
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Comments: 22
We live in the day of the cyber booty call and the family computer is culprit! "idol hands are the tools of the devil"
No One deserves to be cheated on for any reason! If you are not getting what you need from your spouse, then you can get a divorce, there is no need to commit adultery.
Secondly I would point out that the part of your article that concerned me was....
"I am working so hard on my diet and fitness right now hoping to be able to get into shape and meet a man that might not just want to be with me."
If men can't see beyond the physical then they are not worth having! We fall in love because of an attraction that goes beyond sex or beauty. While those things may increase our desires, it's not the reason you fell in love with a person and if it is...your headed for the same road as your friend.
just because women cheat as well has nothing to do with this women or what we are talking about. So if women cheat too does that make it right, I would say Not! He is married. He comented to her. He could leave the marrage, I get a little upset because my x was in the Navy you would not believe how many men and women cheat. However i remained faithful always. I did not leave my bed either. God Bless dee-dee
Make sure your friend isn't jumping to conclusions without some evidence.
I'm sorry for your friend. I hope things work out for her.
So I took my ex's advice and eventually did find another woman. I was completely amazed at how she thought I was the nicest guy she ever met, and a good lover too. Sure, I had sex with her before I got divorced, but in my mind, it is not cheating if your spouse does not want you. I had plenty of time to fool around on her while she was up north at the cottage. I even took my girlfriend up there two times when the ex was at home. My girlfriend is the only one who had made love with me in that cottage, and even on the beach!
Don't forget that marriage vows go both ways. Love, honor...etc...if one person does not uphold their side, then don't expect the partner to be a saint!
I have a comment about the way you think of yourself as well. "I am working so hard on my diet and fitness right now hoping to be able to get into shape and meet a man that might not just want to be with me." Meeting a man who likes you for YOU does not require endless crunches and cardio, my friend. Feeling good about yourself comes from the inside not from the mirror. Take it from someone who's spent the last 30-odd years worrying about weight and my looks. The guy I married didn't and doesn't care how fit I am - never has. He fell in love with the confidence I had, my intelligent wit, and my caring heart. You don't find that in a bar with hoochy-mamas running around in short skirts and tube tops.
It's obvious that your friend Karen is a little guilty, too. She didn't want her guy to go out and cheat, but she didn't prevent it from happening either. No sex in four years and being content to be in separate rooms all evening makes for NO relationship at all! She should have sought counseling or SOMETHING!!! They are equally to blame for the ruin of their marriage in my opinion. By doing nothing, they agreed that they weren't trying to have an intimate relationship. Without one, you can't expect either person to stay in the relationship mentally or physically.
As Yogi said, "It ain't over till it's over."
A long time ago, one of the soccer moms kept talking about her sister's divorce. Her husband had chosen an older, fatter, less attractive woman. She and her sister couldn't imagine why he'd done that. I have no idea, but it happens. While it's easy to be drawn to someone attractive, sometimes the right person for us does not meet any of those perceived standards. The bald, pot-bellied man may be a faithful husband and good father. That short skinny nerdy looking guy may be devoted to making you happy.
There's a lot more to a relationship than sex. Some women are content with their husband being unfaithful, as long as he's discreet. Sex is just one factor. However, absence of the intimacy that comes with sex sounds like a very bad sign. It's hard to keep a marriage relationship alive even without living two separate lives like your friend and her roommate/husband.