Scoobynomics

I was watching an episode of Scooby Doo with my daughters the other day and I realized something.  The animatronics, costumes, and complex remote control gadgetry the bad guys use to pull off their elaborate haunting ruses probably cost significantly more than the items they are trying to steal.

One of the episodes we watched featured a 30 foot animatronic dragon capable of performing complex flying acrobatics in close quarters, running on the ground, and breathing fire. Not only was it able to do all of these things, all of these features were controlled by a singular complex remote control glove worn by the villain.

On top of all of that, its movements and appearance were not mechanical in nature. No one was screaming, “Look out! Robot dragon!” so the exterior had a realistic reptillian scale facade. Also the mechanism controlling the dragon’s movement were whisper quiet and not loud and clanky like a Furreal Friend.

How much do you think a robot dragon capable of such maneuvers and controlled by a single remote would cost? By comparison, the Air Force Predator drone costs a measily $4.5 million, requires 3 people to operate, looks nothing like a dragon, and is incapable of walking or breathing fire. By my estimates (which are crude and based on very little logic or economic reasoning)I’d say the dragon costs at least twice as much as the Predator drone, perhaps more.

What did the villain hope to claim as a result of his fake dragon? A map to buried treasure, which he found out was fake after being unmasked. So basically he wasted $9 million dollars. Since the dragon is evidence in the pending criminal (and civil) court cases against him, he won’t even be able to sell it to pay for decent legal representation. On top of that, he has the further humiliation of having his plan foiled by a group of teenagers with a talking dog.

So if you know of a buried treasure, abandoned gold mine, or oil well on a neighbor’s property and are considering constructing an animatronic ghost panda to scare the owner into selling, perhaps you should consider having the robot panda appraised before unleashing your fiendish plot. You may not need that buried treasure after all.

At the very least, you should make sure there aren’t any festivals going on in the immediate vicinity that would attract teenagers (or talking dogs).