The New Mexico sun is a wondrous thing. Standing on my platform looking at the early morning sun defining the mesas and arroyos with dark shadows and golden crests, I'm struck with how big the sky seems here. I am forever humbled.
The sun also does amazing things to plants, in particular, zucchini. For the last three weeks I have been inundated. Lately, with the nightly rainstorms of the premature monsoons from the south, the situation is quickly becoming dire.
Fruit that is a mere baby one morning, seems to explode into a twelve-inch behemoth the next.
Utilizing this production has become an issue.
A lady friend has become the recipient of much of the largesse as I have really become sick of the little green phalluses. In fact, I'm having a hard enough time eating the other two types of squash which populate my garden.
She's working day and night trying to use the zucchinis in imaginative ways. There's zucchini bread and date nut loafs. Stuffed zucchini, zucchini stuffed omelets. Shredding the zukes and adding to meatloaf. Now, I fear, she's throwing in the towel and decided to just freeze the shit.
While still trying to digest the skillet medley of all three types of squash plus onions I prepared last night in order to clear the kitchen of the monsters, I vowed that today would be a non-pick day.
I tried not looking down as I gave them their morning water session to no avail. As I stooped to pick up the hose, there it was four inches wide and fourteen inches long. I could swear it was smiling at me.
So now my refrigerator has its produce crisper stuffed with seven more beautiful gifts from that New Mexico sun. I've lost the only female friend I have here and my skin is turning green.
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Comments: 11
Thanks for a fun story.
This was hysterical to read! I hear someone trying to pawn off zucchini every year about this time. I am not sure if the plant is a plague or a miracle, sort of like Jesus and the fishes. I think we could end world hunger if more plants produced like zucchini! Hey, there's an idea - the local food kitchen or food bank. Wonder if they can use it?
I loved your writing. It's such a pleasure to read about other people's daily lives. And you are so funny in the way you tell us about what's happening in yours. As we speak, there is zuchinni that my neighbor gave us, cooking in olive oil on my stove. I sprinkled it with some organic genovese basil I bought from a local gardener at a the farmer's market. YUM! Dang, wish you lived next door. I would gladly take some zuchinni off your hands! But, you know, I really like that idea of giving some to the local food shelf. Such a fun read, Stephen. Thanks!
Of course I grok the fact that an epicurean aesthete gourmet lover of life like you is also a gardener, Stephen, I think I'm going to use "I grow awesome zucchinis" as my new pickup line.
Stop making me envious with your tubers, sport.