An Honest Job

5:30 am:  I wake up too early again today, just like every other day in recent memory.  How can this job of mine take over my life like this so thoroughly?  "It's not fair!" my mind cries as I roll over and, for just a moment, I pretend that I can do as I please and go back to sleep.  The nagging alarm that assaults my brain reminds me that I am not in charge.

6:00 am:  This rude awakening sets off a series of activities that defines my morning routine.  I hurriedly get ready, feeling all the while that I'm frightfully unprepared.  I have to get myself in the mindset that preparing myself is not enough.  I have to be ready to take responsibility for the affairs of others.  It has become quite apparent to me that the two individuals for whom I work cannot manage themselves very well, let alone contribute to the team's goals in any meaningful way.  In fact, my work environment is rife with impatience, competitiveness, and outrageous demands that undermine the productivity of the whole team.

8:30 am:  After much resistance and inefficiency, I manage to start loading the car.  The tools of my trade are many, and I find myself exhausted after multiple trips to the car to get it packed.

9:00 am:  I quickly consult my planner.  Oh crap:  There is nothing on the calendar.  I can always count on a scheduled appointment or meeting to keep everyone, especially myself, feeling like we are accomplishing something of value.  Now it is up to me to make sure I appear as if there is a "plan".  To do otherwise would be an invitation for disaster.

9:30 am:  I come up with a game plan for the morning.  Nothing ambitious, just enough to keep the team focused on the project at hand.  In this regard, my job can sometimes be described as "activity coordinator", more so than I would have originally thought.  If I play my cards right, everybody's focus on the morning's activities will lead to greater productivity in the afternoon; especially on my part, since I won't be overburdened with constant interruptions and demands on my time.

This job wouldn't be so difficult if so much "face time" wasn't expected.  Try to convince my bosses that such a concept can actually undermine any real efficiency and they act as if I am unwilling to be a team player.  I must constantly "check in" on them and give them praise for the efforts they make to further their goals.  Most of the time, what they see as a step forward ends up being more of a setback and I merely clean up their messes.  The management culture here is so utterly narcissistic and self-promoting that I fear I will never get the opportunity to pursue anything of my own.  Sometimes I wonder if the job I left for this one was really that bad.

12:00 pm:  The lunch meeting is a big mess, as usual.  I just shut my mouth, follow orders and keep my head down.  It doesn't matter how many attempts I make to keep things "on topic" and focus the factions on constructive interactions; I always feel that there is contentiousness and just downright crankiness at these meetings.

1:00 pm:  Finally, one of my bosses leaves to attend his regularly scheduled afternoon appointment.  There should be a couple of hours where things are slightly quieter and I may actually be able to get some side projects done.  It is funny how the absence of just one prima donna can make a difference in the positive contributions and overall energy level of the group.

3:00 pm:  After the return of my boss, we regroup in another team activity that proves useful in keeping all contributors productive and satisfied.  I am also pleased with the direction that things are going.

4:00 pm:  The feeling of accomplishment of the last hour is short lived, however.  It is approaching the end of the day, a time I call "the witching hour."  As I am finishing up my work, it seems like one of my managers always has some 'special request' for me.  Alternatively, some huge error is discovered and the whole team goes into frenzy mode trying to resolve it.  Exhaustion and anticipation for the day to be over is combined with crankiness and hunger, leaving me with a sense of foreboding.  This situation is a disaster that is waiting to happen.  And that is only describing my perspective.  Take that and multiply it exponentially and you have our whole team dynamic.

5:00 pm:  I come up with a quick dinner.  Despite my best intentions earlier in the day to prepare a meal from scratch, work gets in the way.  A bit of quick thinking and I find something relatively healthy but fast to eat.  My work continues.

6:30 pm:  It's been a long day.  Finally, when things are at their worst, reinforcement comes.  I am able to stop putting out fires and sit down individually with one of my bosses while the other is occupied with the newly arrived help.  We prepare for the next day, sitting alone in a room, debriefing.  At the end of the day, when the pressure is off, these guys almost seem human.  I begin to relax and see things in a more favorable light.  Perhaps my job is not so unreasonable after all.  I smile as I watch the tyrant make himself comfortable.  Then he flashes a smile and comes in for a cuddle.  "Yes, I'll read Goodnight Moon again.  But then it's lights out!"