1. I was born dead. When my heart stopped beating during delivery, they knocked my mom out, removed me with forceps and spent 2 minutes reviving me. The jury is still out as to if there was any resulting brain damage...
2. My mother was born in Berlin, and grew up in WWII Germany.
3. My father was born in Ogden, Utah, and grew up in Occupied Japan.
4. I've moved 12 times in 11 years of marriage.
5. I have four children. Three I brought into this world personally. One I get to enjoy the benefits of sans stretchmarks.
6. Two of the three children I had, were born out of wedlock by choice. I only wanted to be married once in this life, and couldn't see a future with either of their fathers.
7. I am 40 years old.
8. I planned and executed a formal wedding for 200 in less than two months for my daughter.
9. My first grandchild is due this August.
10. I hate to shop for clothes.
11. I am four feet eleven and a half inches tall.
12. I started out in life as a blonde. I'm now naturally a greying brunette.
13. I used to be double jointed as a child. To my husband's regret, I grew out of that.
14. My ears are only pierced once, because I'm a big chicken when it comes to needles.
15. Likewise, I have no tattoos.
16. My daughter has a tattoo. I'm getting used to it. I worry about what it will look like when she begins to experience the effects of gravity.
17. If Cary Grant and Fred Flintstone had a baby boy he would look like my husband Fred.
18. My husband still makes my heart flutter when he walks into the room.
19. I met my husband on a blind date - the first date I'd had in 9 years. We were trapped on a broken ferris wheel for an hour.
20. I married my husband exactly 3 months to the day after I met him. I was sure he was the one.
21. My favorite foods are chocolate, stinky cheese and sushi. I rarely eat them at the same sitting though.
22. I have two pets, a rescued cat and dog.
23. I'm horribly allergic to cats. If you hear that I've died of anaphlactic shock - you know why.
24. I once nearly drowned in a rip tide.
25. I had a Roman Catholic education.
26. I dropped out of High School.
27. I paid to take an accelerated GED course in 1985. In 2003 I learned my GED was never recorded in California. I took the test again without preparation, and scored in the upper 90 percentile.
28. I have a very average I.Q. score.
29. I've read at least a book a week for the past 21 years.
30. I collect old books - but hate to dust them!
31. My favorite subject in school was history.
32. I watch an average of less than half an hour of television a week.
33. I am a trained paralegal.
34. This week, I graduated with a degree in medical coding.
35. My husband makes me nervous when he decides to clean the house.
36. I'm addicted to good coffee.
37. I taught myself to cook and sew because my mother and I fought too much when she tried to do it.
38. I ran away from home when I was a senior in high school.
39. I have loving relationships with both my parents now.
40. I can understand and read German, but "butcher the language" when attempting to speak it.
41. Before I die, I would like to be able to learn conversational French, Spanish, Italian and Japanese.
42. I can not dance.
43. I love old Hollywood musicals.
44. I am poetically challenged, but am trying to overcome my disability by reading more of it on Gather.
45. The most important skills I can teach my children are empathy and tolerance. If I do this, I will consider my work in this life a success.
46. My favotite color crayon is "orchid."
47. Relatives tell me my personality is most like my Grandpa Joe's. He died decades before I was born.
48. I used to have many hobbies. Now they have whittled down to 2 - crocheting and scrapbooking.
49. Since my family has enough blankets, I donate them to shelters.
50. The only impulse buy weakness I have is for scrapbook supplies.
51. I am an excellent cook when I'm in the mood.
52. The same could be said for other wifely skills.
53. I will pay top dollar to have someone else clean my bathrooms.
54. I close my childrens bedroom doors rather than holler at them about the destruction. They will either die of exposure to toxic substances, or grow up to be slobs. But they will still love me.
55. I do not consider reading and writing to be hobbies - they are inherent to my make up and supercede that category.
56. I finished my first personal essay when I joined Gather.
57. I've had a pen pal for 25 years - who is now one of my dearest friends.
58. I will not tell you how much I weigh - but my backside could easily be described as "waffle-like" in texture.
59. I've lost 20 pounds since Jan 1, 2006.
60. I hate dieting.
61. I would rather live in a shack and travel the world than have a showplace of a home.
62. I love to paint the walls of my home. In some rooms I've switched colors so often, I'm sure we've lost square footage.
63. I've somehow managed to assemble a collection of glass paperweights, vintage rhinestone pins, and old demitasse cups without trying. You could say I am a magpie.
64. I have never achieved any real skill at makeup application.
65. I can't make it through a horror movie unless I have a big blanket or pillow to hide behind.
66. My children are usually visibly relieved when I stay home and the rest of the family goes to the theater.
67. I can type over 100 words a minute - but I'm a lousy proofreader of my own work.
68. HTML is not my friend.
69. My favorite guilty pleasure is reading a historic novel in the bathtub until even my earlobes are pruney.
70. I hate pulling weeds, but love to garden.
71. I love hats, but often resemble a toadstool when I where them.
72. I retain water like a sponge.
73. I refuse to give up my addiction to coffee.
74. I do yoga with a dvd. I'm too shy to participate in exercise classes.
75. I was born left handed. My mother was raised to believe that left-handedness was impolite. She put everything in my right hand when I was a baby. On a good day I'm ambidextrous, on a bad I'm just confused.
76. Wines with a high sulfite content give me an instant headache.
77. I tend to bring ibuprofren in my purse when we dine away from home.
78. The first book I bought my grandchild was "Walter the Farting Dog."
79. No amount of beano consumption seems to help my own dog, sons or husband.
80. I have sinus issues that have caused me great embarrassment over the years.
81. I do not cry pretty.
82. I never learned to "up chuck" like a lady.
83. I do not "hang over" daintily.
84. There's a rampant history of alcoholism in our family - so I imbibe gently. As a light weight, this means I hang over more easily than most.
85. I refuse to take up golf. That's my husband's hobby, and we need our time away from each other.
86. I make my children sit down when I scold them. Even the 9 year old. She's nearly as tall as I am.
87. I hurl cushions from the couch at family members who ignore me. I believe these decorating items are called "throw pillows" for a reason.
88. My dog only listens to me. She ignores everyone else in our family.
89. The cat and I respect eachother and keep our distance. He may be allergic to me as well.
90. My favorite perfume is Chanel No.5. It was only after I started wearing it that my mother told me it was her mother's standard scent as well.
91. I need more fiber in my diet.
92. My husband needs less cholesterol in his - but I do my best to avoid nagging him about it.
93. My nickname as a child was "Buffy." I had pig tails like the little girl from the 60's show "Family Affair."
94. In high school, I went by my middle name "JoAnne," ignoring those who called me "Buffy" and did so until I quit my last corporate job.
95. Now most friends call me "G."
96. My husband calls me Honey.
97. My children refer to me as "Mommy," "Mamacita," "Madre," "She Who Must Be Obeyed" (This after they gave me a coffee mug with that on it.) or just plain "Ma."
98. I'm working my way into admitting that I have a full blown Gather habit.
99. I once turned down being an "editor's pick."
100. I've known I wanted to be a writer since I was in Kindergarden and thanks to the encouragement of everyone here, will keep at it until I'm dead.
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Comments: 95
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Great list Gisela. I can only come up with three and they involve dogs.
I hope Stephen's dogs are more helpful than my kids. I asked them for some interesting things about me last night. One daughter gave me a sentence. The other looked at her husband and smiled. I'll bet their list would be entertaining, but I'm giving you mine.
PS - The DRG is evil. I wish it were dead.
You really thought of some great things to share in this list. 100wpm. WOW. That's impressive. I bet your a blast to be around. Great job on completing all 100.
Serina - Your posting is what inspired me ;) I refuse to take another IQ test, I'm afraid the numbers will start going down!!!
HAH! My life story!
Hilarious and fun and everything i expect from a G article. May i call you G?
11 plus a half inch. 12, 14, 15, 18, 36, 43, 51, 52, 53, 60, 65, 71, 81
Enjoyed your list. Trying to get a mental picture of "waffle butt" - would that be round, flat, and dimpled? Never mind, I don't really need, or want to know that much detail. I guess that is a secret feminine code word I'll never know the definition too.
Would never have guessed your height, you look much taller in your picture - seriously! I'm 6'3" and my son is 6'6" and still growing. Hard to believe both my grandmothers never made it to 5 feet. Good thing our height doesn't measure our stature.
Magi
And yes, there must have been a MASSIVE Hollywood cover-up to hide my husband's existence after the Flintstone/Grant affair.
Oh dear, Fred is glaring at me across his coffee cup. Cheers my friend!
As to my height, I may need to bring along a step stool to shake your hand in Seattle this October!
i love austen, too. read them all at least once a year. and i don't watch ANY scary movies or tv.
He claims my fierce request to "quit" was his first clue I was the one ;)
I LMAO when you said I was "shaq-like!" I will tell my children when they get home from school, and see what kind of expression THAT elicits!!
Give Lillie a hug from Auntie G
I thought you'd at least enjoy the bit about the love of stinky cheese......
Wolfster - Please don't tell me your daughter is, like, 3 years old or something.... I'm glad you enjoyed this though!
-- Vince
Heather - I'm so glad this was a "slog - free" read! I must admit, I felt as if I might be dragging people through the mud there a time or two when I was writing it!
Michelle and Sandy - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just snap our fingers and magically have an outfit that was meant for us appear? I find the entire process incredibly tiresome. Hate dressing rooms, and 9 times out of 10 have to alter what I purchase anyway (being of the shrimp persuasion - event petite sizes tend to run long for me!) Sandy, I wish elastic were a solution for me!
Thanks for reading ! (And reading AGAIN Ms. S!)
you reminded me of a few things in my life... I have to get back to my list!
wonderful list by the way ;-)
Your list is:
1 Uproariously funny;
2 quite revealing;
3 If you are of average intelligence I'm your mother...
4 Thanks for your list
5 It is going to be harde to follow you with a list of my own.
Best, Chris
Chris - You know....there is a family resemblence ;) Just run with what pops in your head - it's fun if you don't allow yourself to agonize!
I feel like I know you better now, and have a few things in common...My daughter, jamie's nickname is "g". great list!
401.9-Hypertension
250.0- Diabetes
And yes, I knew those two.....but I think we have to code out to 5 on diabetes these days!
Okay - how did Jamie turn into "g"? You've peaked my interest!
My kid got her nickname from a little boy next door when she was 7 or 8,
he was about two, and could only say "Gigi", instead of Jamie. His Dad started calling her "G" and it stuck.
JEEsela, or jiSELA..Inquiring minds want to know..lol
And it's GEESE - ELLA, like a poultry fairy tale ;) I like the other pronunciations better, and will often answer to them - but the goosey one is the right one ;)
I love your list. You are such a cool person and it's a privilege to know you. :) And you name is way nifty.
Thanks for checking my list out. Loved yours!
Ken - You are a dear! I will confess to you that I too am bowlegged, but I camo this condition with excess thigh fat. You should try it!
Thanks for reading!
By the way, left handed folks are the only ones in their right mind.
Charles - I don't know if the Beano item should be categorized as "sweet" but thanks all the same.
Priscilla - I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks for stopping in to give my little list a read!
You were born DEAD? =O Glad you're OK!