Creative Driving 101

I was still in the inside lane, I just had my left-turn signal on. There was traffic in the outside lane. That didn't seem to concern this guy, he wanted past me and wasn't waiting for a signal to do it!

This kind of driver is a pathfinder, he will create his own lane out of what space if available to him.

By the time traffic came to a halt from the oversized load that got stuck halfway up a hill (didn't anyone tell this guy Missouri has "rolling" hills? No stopping on the highway, please!), I realized there are a lot of creative drivers on the road with me each day.

Take the shirt-tailers. These are the guys who run through a red light on the shirt tail of a tractor trailer rig, knowing that everyone is going to wait for the truck to get through before proceeding. They can cause so much delay in movement at some signals here that no one in the other lanes gets to go at all.

The back-trackers still amaze me. If you miss your exit, I promise you there is one down the road! Take it, get back on the freeway and come back to your exit. The reverse gear was NOT intended for freeway use!

The bump drafters think they drive for NASCAR and get antsy when traffic slows like a restrictor plate race. They ride right up in your rearview mirror, looking for the chance to bump you out of the way and move on to their next victim.

The percussionist shows up in heavy traffic. He hits his brakes every time someone in front of him does, then continues to tap the brakes to maintain his spot in traffic.

His opposite is the bassist. I have only ridden with one of these drivers, but I know there must be others out there. He has a regular rhythm that he uses when pressing the accelerator. Vroom, vroom, vroom, his car surges and idles to maintain speed. He didn't have a radio playing, so I don't know what he was keeping time to. For thirty miles of open road, he kept the rhythm going and kept his speed constant.

The last type of driver appeared as traffic narrowed to one lane to pass the disabled truck. They seem to smell when traffic congests slightly and appear from nowhere. The rodent driver will find an opening one-half his size and magically squeeze his car into it. Try as you like to keep a safe distance between you and the guy in front of you, you can bet a swarm of rodents will appear and take it away. I am not certain if I admire their trust that the guys behind them will slow down in time, or if I wish they would invade someone else's space.

I am betting on the latter.