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I have great expectations about returning west of the Rockies. Having spent the first 40 years of my life in the Los Angeles area, I got used to things being a certain way. The mayo label said "Best Foods." The relish came from Del Monte. The fast food place with the star on their sign was Carl's Jr.

Buying Hellman's mayo and whatever relish I think will come close to what I like was an easy adjustment. I usually eat at Wendy's, so that wasn't too big a deal. In the course of five years in humidity, I have found the products that give me curl without the frizz. These were all relatively painless.

I have not come to understand the colloquialisms like, "y'uns". You know, "Y'uns et yet?" That's a group invitation to dinner, which is eaten in the middle of the day, or to supper, the evening meal.  I do occasionally slip and ask for a pop to drink, which worries me.

But what can you expect from a people that can't pronounce the name of their state correctly? Or is it just spelled wrong? Mizzeruh, where they have a town spelled Nevada but pronounced Nevayduh. Of course, they might have been influenced by Miami (Miamuh), OK.

I miss the arguments of my early days here, when I would shout, "Dude!" every time one of my favorite mechanics showed up to work.

"Not dude," he'd reply, pulling at the name stitched on his uniform. "Jeff." Then he would try to convince me that no one has said "dude" since the 80s. Well, I have, and so have my daughters, so there!

I am eager to be in an area that knows the appropriate response, to "Grab me a coke, please," is, "Sure, what kind?" And then you tell him whether you wanted a Dr. Pepper, 7Up or Pepsi.

Of course, the reason I will feel so comfortable in Idaho probably has to do with the fact that everything west of the Rockies is becoming East California. I would apologize to the locals when I get there, but I don't know if there are any anymore.