by Mandi -Watch where the chalk-white arrows go. To the place where the sidewalk ends. S.S.
Member since:
January 24, 2006

Anti-Monkey Butt

March 16, 2006 09:10 PM EST (Updated: March 16, 2006 10:37 PM EST)
views: 12 | rating: 9.1/10 (28 votes) | comments: 61

While wondering through the aisles of the grocery store I noticed a display case in the pharmacy area. In the case were yellow bottles with a grinning monkey, giving a thumbs up. His butt is very large and bright red.

 

Above his head it says: Anti Monkey Butt Powder.

 

On the back of the bottle it tells you that this product is specially formulated to absorb sweat and reduce friction. It is ideal for butt busting activities like motorcycling, horseback riding, truck driving, various sports etc.

 

Near the bottom is this little jingle:

 

Indoors or outdoors, work or play

Or on occasion when you

Sit on your butt all day.

Don't let your buns get red

Use Anti Monkey Butt

Powder instead!

 

Beneath this the same monkey is still grinning butt now he is shaking the butt powder on his....well his BUTT.

 

After checking out this absolutely ridiculous product and laughing at the $3 price for talc and calamine powder, I thought of my husband.

 

 HUSBAND-MONKEY BUTT

 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

 

He laughed his butt off when I gave it to him.
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Comments: 61

Tanja Edwards Mar 16, 2006, 9:15pm EST
OMG! How funny! I think all of us who sit at our computers all day and "gather" could benefit from this product . . .
Christopher C. Mar 16, 2006, 9:15pm EST
The perfect gift for the male in your life! Women, of course, are to delicate for Monkey-Butt-Powder...well most of them! Love the article. Now, which holiday is coming up?
Chris Burnett Mar 16, 2006, 9:18pm EST
Too funny...who thought up such a product? Chris Burnett
X Tabber Mar 16, 2006, 9:20pm EST
OK, here's the real use for Monkey Butt powder: it's for bicyclists and motorcyclists.

Those long hours in the saddle, with little to protect your tender behind from rubbing creates a nasty condition called "Monkey Butt".

I've never purchased Monkey Butt Powder myself, butt my biker friends swear by it...
WM H. Mar 16, 2006, 9:21pm EST
A few years we had a similar laugh over "Udder Creme" in the Holstein jar
lisa marchal Mar 16, 2006, 9:38pm EST
Ha ha.. You knew I was going to laugh at this one.. Now my son is gonna feel worse when I call him monkey butt... so funny....lol
Linda Douglas Mar 16, 2006, 10:00pm EST
I am going to be hot on the trail of this stuff this weekend. What a great idea!!! How do they think these things up?
my husband is a motorcycle nut, so this will come in handy!
Ithanks everyone!
your gonna love this.. it is made by the anti monkey butt company

antimonkeybutt.com
Jennaphyr Vine Mar 16, 2006, 10:15pm EST
well, does it work for hubby monkey butt?
Tanja Edwards Mar 16, 2006, 10:21pm EST
OMG! It's for real! i just went on the website. Too, too, funny!
Carol Voigts Mar 16, 2006, 10:21pm EST
A really funny product. We always used Udder Ointment or Bag Balm on the farm as did the cow. And we always call White Out Liquid Bird Shit.
Ron Hall Mar 16, 2006, 10:27pm EST
The udder stuff is called "Bag Balm." I think it was formulated for chapped teets, and people found it useful for all sorts of things. I never heard of it until I moved to Minnesota. Where I used to step outside in Colorado and say "Brrr", here I step outside and say "Ouch!"
Ron Hall Mar 16, 2006, 10:28pm EST
Carol, you beat me to the Bag Balm line by seconds. Jane was saying "Better hurry", but did I listen? No.
Christopher Bell Mar 16, 2006, 10:30pm EST
Can you imagine going to a bank with a business plan, seeking a loan to finance the "anti-monkey butt Company! What a hoot! I wonder if it is publically traded? Look out, investment bankers, you probably need some of this little white powder, too! Chris
well you know the saying... life is stranger than fiction
Stephen Schneider Mar 16, 2006, 10:40pm EST
Funny stuff Mandi
Plain ol' Becky S. Mar 16, 2006, 10:42pm EST
This made my day....thanks.
Shava Nerad Mar 16, 2006, 10:51pm EST
Hey if it's good enough for Shania Twain it's good enough for me. Bag balm, that is. I'm a country girl, been using that stuff for ages. It's great for those little places on your fingers that get worn from the yarn when you knit or crochet, elbows, hands, feet, noses when they turn red from a cold, and (yes indeed) chapped teats of any particular mammal.
I think it's funny that on the web anti monkey butt costs 6 bucks.. I only paid 3 at cub foods.
AiLing K. Mar 16, 2006, 10:57pm EST
Funny Funny Funny:) I will have to get this for my friend who loves to ride. Anti-monkey butt, just gotta love it!
June Jones Mar 16, 2006, 11:19pm EST
;-)
Micheale Shelton Mar 16, 2006, 11:30pm EST
You made me snort, AGAIN! I think you deserve an award for the most interesting life :-) Love reading your stuff-monkey butt!!
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Mar 16, 2006, 11:53pm EST
We kept udder balm in the office - great for those paper-dry hands. Fortunately, we had no need for the monkey-butt stuff ;-)
Steve Matsukawa Mar 17, 2006, 12:07am EST
Just gotta add this to Butt Paste...which by the way sponsors a race car on the NASCAR circuit...so you see this car go whizzing by at 180 plus and it says "Butt Paste"....LOL!....who says Americans don't have a sense of humour...LOL!...really funny stuff Mandi...keep'em coming...LOL!...
Plain ol' Becky S. Mar 17, 2006, 1:06am EST
Doctor Beaudreaux's Butt Paste?
Great stuff...don't have diaper rash without it. : )
It actually works pretty darn good on chapped skin and chicken pox too. (does anyone actually get chicken pox anymore?)
Felix Perry Mar 17, 2006, 5:00am EST
Too funny.
Felix
my neighbor used butt paste on her kid for years... I also have some udder cream around here somewhere...great on chapped elbows and hands.

I got the monkey butt powder at cub foods in illinois.. and they have a website... antimonkeybutt.com

Becky I had the Chicken pox in 94... nearly died.. I was 23 at the time.

thanks everyone!
Lisa Kuenzi Mar 17, 2006, 10:50am EST
Mandi - anti-monkey butt is so funny, thanks for the giggle here early in the morning. You have a knack for writing humor.
lisa thank you ;-)
Evelyn M. S. Mar 17, 2006, 12:04pm EST
Even Monkeys get chaffed i suppose-lol
Gisela S. Mar 17, 2006, 12:48pm EST
Whenever my son gives me the universal "whazzzzzzzup?" I answer,"Monkey Butt?" (Okay, sometimes I say "chicken butt.")

I gotta buy a can, just so I can whip that out during our next exchange!
Diana Raabe Mar 17, 2006, 1:01pm EST
A laugh worth "10" any day!
Enoch Allen Mar 17, 2006, 1:36pm EST
I'm saying the same thing.

Hmmmmm. Monkey Butt.

I had a lewd joke ready there for a second, but lost it and now I have to run and catch it. . .
enoch dropped the ball!!!!! oh my god I think the sky is falling!!!

LOLOL!

Thanks everyone!
Lisa R. Mar 17, 2006, 1:51pm EST
NO WAY! Must....find.....anti-monkey butt....display....on...kitchen table....to start...day...with smile
Lisa! LOL!
Evelyn M. S. Mar 17, 2006, 2:11pm EST
lol
my chi had a male puppy last year , seems he turned out long haired and his bottom behind I call monkey butt-actually baboon butt...lol too funny Mandy-thanks for the giggles.
Bonnie L. Mar 17, 2006, 4:33pm EST
Too funny Mandi!!!!

.........are you saying we are all a bunch of "Monkey Butt Gatherers?"

(what store did you say you found that at?)...LOL!
Carolyn Madden Mar 17, 2006, 6:05pm EST
Hilarious! Isn't the red butt of the monkey supposed to be sexually attractive? to other monkeys i mean. I say we boycott anything that reduces the potential of sexual attraction, then we can be anti-anti-monkey butts??
can anyone tell me how you place a link in a comment?

I got it at cub foods in illinois.. if you really want it bad, they have a website where you can buy it...

www.antimonkeybutt.com
Carolyn, I on't know if an inflamed red ass is very attractive to me ..LOLOLO!
Dawn Matley Maselli Mar 17, 2006, 7:16pm EST
LOLOLOL, Mandi...you are too funny!
Beryl Singleton Bissell Mar 17, 2006, 9:55pm EST
SO glad humor is alive and well in the nation. Sounds like the product might have been the result of a dare. And guess what, people actually buy the stuff. Smart people like Mandi G.
Farrah B. Wylld Mar 17, 2006, 10:30pm EST
OMG!! BAG BALM!

My mom turned me onto bag balm. I used to use it on my cracked heels and it helped right away. I have to wonder about ANTI MONKEY BUTT though...

(as she squirms in her underoos)

Can I try it on my feet first?
Not the same thing, huh?

No matter. I've got a New Mexico cowboy (hehe) that doctors the tootsies when I'm in need of nursin'...



We ought to form a ANTI MONKEY BUTT GROUP.
Just for the fun of it!

Farrah
Farrah B. Wylld Mar 17, 2006, 10:34pm EST
Farrah ponders:

On second thought, is there such a thing as ANTI MONKEY BOOBIES?

Farrah
Stormy Weber Mar 17, 2006, 10:51pm EST
I get you, Farrah. The whole skin-on-skin thing.
I can't STAND the mediacted powder up under "the girls".
(you get my drift)

BUTT PASTE??
I don't EVEN want to know.

I DO know I have paper dry feet. Want to 'rent' out your cowboy, Farrah?
I tried the powder..... on my hands. It is very soothing... I had no idea there was such a thing as calamine powder....the web site says it was invented by people who spend time riding motorcycles and horses and snowmobiles, etc.. so they have first hand experience.. or first butt...
thanks everyone!
Let me know when you start that group farrah! I will join!
Bruce ! Mar 18, 2006, 6:54am EST
Because of your great fun article I have posted an article with some great products for us to buy when traveling titled

"Wonderful foods from around the world"

Enjoy dinner
bruce that was hillarious! go check it out everyone!
Kathryn E. Mar 19, 2006, 4:07am EST
Ron, you can use bag balm for nursing, too. Recommended. I don't mean that YOU can use it, but that ONE can use it. lol.
Kathryn E. Mar 19, 2006, 4:08am EST
Mandi, hilarioiusly funny. Before LIsa's article, I never even heard of monkey butt. Now, I know I havent lived. Thanks for anti monkey butt.
thanks kathryn ;-)

I have some bag balm too.. stuff stinks though!
Aileen F. Mar 19, 2006, 11:26am EST
Mandi, thanks for the great laugh!
jessie voigts Mar 19, 2006, 1:26pm EST
mandi - i showed it to lillie, we both were laughing so hard. i can't blv you didn't buy them out.
Barbary Chaapel Mar 19, 2006, 3:44pm EST
Mandi,

A FUN post!
0000-doublel-0000 Mar 19, 2006, 10:55pm EST
Mandi that is too funny. I guess it's better if you make light of it like they did instead of calling it chapped red sore butt powder. Ha ha so funny.
thanks ladies ;-)
Bill's Spirit Mar 21, 2006, 11:26am EST
Ah Mandi.. LOL - still wiping the tears from my eyes. Life is stranger than fiction.. or in this case, friction.

Good find. Thanks.
thanks Bill ;-)

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