Anxiety

I feel that I need to stop dating for awhile and concentrate on myself. In a world when people can custom order people (or at least think they can) I'm just not going to make it. I've been told I was "too tall", "too full-bodied", "too tender" and on and on. In my head it's "Will he call? Did he like me? Did I do something wrong? Am I good?" The anxiety is sometimes overwhelming. My blood pressure is through the roof and my hair is breaking off chunks. I may have to start wearing a wig. At night I keep waking up again and again and in the morning I'm so tired that I can barely make it to work. I don't have any family and my friends are busy with theirs so I spend a lot of time alone. I was hoping that I could find someone to be in my life but I don't really have the stomach for the search.

Comments: 6

Jennifer A. Dec 21, 2006, 1:24pm EST

my heart goes out to you. i know exactly what you mean about your anxiety, and i know it's hard, but the only true constant is change. this too will change. try to do something fun and enjoy yourself. have as many moments where you look for something to make you smile, and before you know it you'll have days where you spend most of your time enjoying the simple things. i bet that when you do that enough you will find your situation has changed.

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Preponderance of Evidence Dec 21, 2006, 2:57pm EST

I wish you the best for a peaceful holiday. Just remember, the grass always looks greener. There are plenty of families who will get together this year with sorry in their hearts at having lost a loved one through death. Then there are those families who insist on getting together, if for no other reason than to annoy each other.

Another week, and these lonly holidays will be a distant memory. You may not have exciting memories, but at the same time, you won't have sorrowful ones either.

((((HUGS))))

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kayleigh a. Dec 21, 2006, 5:06pm EST

I felt exactly the same way, i dated many guys and i was abused by one in particular in my search. In the end i thought that if i wanted to find someone like me then he would do the things i liked like going online and talking to people, i met a lovely man not a month after and we met up for real and now we are living togeather. Love can happen and no matter what it is always worth the hassle when you find one you love.
Good luck X

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Lovesnack . Dec 22, 2006, 7:56am EST

I love the holiday season and still do. I bought gifts for my friends and co-workers. It's the best time of the year.

Hassle isn't really the word for what I'm experiencing. My health is in actual decline. I'll have to start blood pressure medication soon and most likely my anti-depressants and anxiolitics will need to be increased. Some people are not cut for this type of thing I may be one of them.

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