by Magi the magical poet is riding the wind again
Member since:
March 29, 2006

Fireside 1: Wine

June 01, 2006 05:27 AM EDT
views: 100 | comments: 94

Fireside 1: Wine

 

 

Hello, do come in!  It's rather cold for autumn and the air is a tad chilly.  Here, let me take your coat.  There!  Now, let's pull up a chair, closer to the fire.  Funny that, I was half-expecting you; and that goblet of red wine on the coffee table is yours.  It's my neighbour's vintage – a cheeky tread-your-own.  Personally, I never touch the stuff.  It's real firewater!  I tell you, if anything will get you along to AA, that shit will.

 

I'm just kidding!  I know you haven't a drinking problem.  There's nothing wrong with bending the elbow.  My neighbour did, often!  We buried him yesterday under his one and only grapevine.  It was his liver, you know.  It gave out – just couldn't take another drop of that foul moonshine.  Actually, it's more like sour vinegar.

 

Poor Giovanni!  The autopsy showed that his sweaty feet picked up something or other just before he stepped into the plastic bucket and began stomping the fly-blown grapes.  If you sniff the goblet you'll see it was probably cat poo on his foot.  Yes, that does explain stench.

 

You've got to leave?  But you haven't touched a drop.  Oh, you've just remembered you left the steam kettle on the burning stove?  Yes, you'd better go home right away – you don't want the joint to burn down!  Thanks for dropping in – no, it doesn't matter that it was unannounced.  Yes, goodbye to you, too.  Drive carefully, now!  Bye!

 

Wish these buggers wouldn't come by when I'm down to my last bottle.  Ah, superb!  Straight from France and matured lovingly.  I must tell Giovanni to compliment his wine club.  Ah, just superb!

 

 

 

 

 

 

link to this page
Bookmark this post:
Facebook
Twitter
Delicious
Buzz
More

Comments: 94

MHN Paree Jun 1, 2006, 7:05am EDT
Has matured superbly!~
Happy writing...
Serina Matteson Jun 1, 2006, 8:21am EDT
Great! Loved the humor. Don't drink it all at once.
Edward Nudelman Jun 1, 2006, 10:29am EDT
THis is riotously funny and extremely tight and well written.
Carl Neeld Jun 1, 2006, 2:51pm EDT
Funny stuff but, If there was wine involved, he wouldn't have gotten rid of me so easily.
Thank you, everyone. I thought I'd try and share a smile.

Magi
Oh Magi you keep pop in up when i need a new series of yours...new to me as I wasn't even on Gather back in06 My sis sent me a magical book i know you would treasure as I do one day while going though old comments you will find it just when this treasure will be a needed smile
Well the name of it is
Fairyopolis a flower fairies journal
Cicely Mary barker
it is in the true form of a scrapbook journal with pull outs and gos mer wings fairy dust oh if I could I would buy it and gift it to you for all the joy you have brought me
I don't know how you found this, Jule, but happy reading, my friend. And thank you very much, indeed!
Faith H. Jun 1, 2006, 8:40pm EDT
funny, well put , *guarding her last drop of the good stuff*
Hi Faith - it was a fun write. I'm glad it made you smile.

Magi
Faith H. Jun 1, 2006, 10:28pm EDT
Yes, but your Curling Smoke articles are just superb.
Thanks for that as well, Faith. You wouldn't believe how much work went into "In the Curling Smoke" poetry.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 16, 2006, 2:33am EDT
That's a brilliant way to get rid of someone!!!! LOL
Hi, Leah - have I given you ideas?

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 16, 2006, 5:41am EDT
You have given me LOTS of ideas! ;-)
Leah - use them!

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 16, 2006, 3:17pm EDT
I intend to!
Leah, I look forward to it.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 16, 2006, 10:15pm EDT
I'll be sure and tell you what happens.
Kathryn E. Jun 17, 2006, 6:10am EDT
Wonderful story, Magi. I liked this a LOT. Superb.
Thanks, Kathryn - it was fun to do.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 18, 2006, 4:41am EDT
I'd love to know. What inspired this series?
Leah, I can't honestly remember. It seemed to write itself.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 19, 2006, 4:09am EDT
Just as long as it keeps writing itsself, I'll be happy It's really great!!
Thank you.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 19, 2006, 10:14pm EDT
You're welcome now when does the next one hit ,the internet? ;-) See how much discussion these have started??? Good for you!
0000-scottcourrier-0000 Jun 20, 2006, 12:30am EDT
hmmmmm
Scott, hmmmmm.

Magi
Leah, two-way dialogue is really what I'm about.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 22, 2006, 2:16am EDT
I'd love to be able to keep up with all the discussion on here, but not everyone is as organized as you are with your table of contents!!
Leah, it takes many hours to initially organize but then it's a snap - I recommend doing it.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 22, 2006, 5:40am EDT
Gather should make it easier for us to keep track of these conversations! What do you think?
Leah, I agree. But they probably think we should use emails - which then takes these conversations out of context to a degree.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 22, 2006, 6:20pm EDT
LOL But this method of communication os much more fun than a bunch e-mails.
Leah, I agree.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 23, 2006, 1:03am EDT
And you get to meet all kinds of people this way, that you would not get to meet if this was all done via private e-mail. I like that part the best!
Yes, I'm with you, Leah.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 24, 2006, 4:42am EDT
I can't believe I only joined Gather on May 30th. LOL I feel as though I've been sitting coffee in your living room forever! ;-)
And you're most welcome, Leah. Gather is rather good at facilitating that.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 24, 2006, 5:49pm EDT
Thank you Magi, and yes it is, Even with scandals over points etc, there are loads of wonderful and decent people on Gather whom I have gotten to know over the last month, and whom I've come to really love as my friends. Thanks for being one of them. You're not going to slip something weird into my coffee now, are you? LOL
Leah, thank you for the compliment - and your coffee is uncontaminated.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 25, 2006, 1:14am EDT
You are welcome, and that is good to know! ;-) I know that honour is given to very few of your visitors. hahaha
Leah, the unwelcome visitors for some strange reason never get to taste it.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 26, 2006, 1:33am EDT
LOL I noticed that! And they probably don't realize what they are missing. hahaha
And just as well!

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 27, 2006, 1:27am EDT
Hey, it just means more for us, eh?
True, but I've just bought a new brand and it's dreadful - I'm not sure I can give it away, even to those who keep dropping in without notice.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 27, 2006, 4:57am EDT
hahaha Give it to the new neighbours! It'll scare the crap out of them, and the lady will leave us alone, when my FRIENDS and I come by for a visit. Would that work?
It just might - at the moment I'm drinking some of the wretched stuff. I really should just throw it out.

Magi
Marcia T. Jun 27, 2006, 7:40am EDT
OK, OK, I'll bring my own coffee AND wine the next time I come to visit. But don't go getting any ideas about me sharing the stuff with you. If you did, I'd have to reveal MYwine source. Hint: my neighbor's got bigger, smellier feet than yours and huge vultures that relieve themselves over his precious grapevines. Oh - you've got to run? From your own house? Do stop by again!

This has been such fun to read Magi. Now that I've worked my way backwards to 1, I'll have to find my starting point and go the other direction. Enjoy your Tuesday!
Well thank you, Marcia - smellier feet, eh? A taste of my own medicine, is it? But I hate medicine! Oh, it's a nice tread your own.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 28, 2006, 2:29am EDT
Just flush it down the toilet! That's what I always do with wretched stuff. If you're still drinking it, you must be addicted. If I'm in the neighbourhood I'll bring you some real DANISH coffee. you'll like that. But don't tell the neighbours, because if they know you have that kind of coffee around, they'll never EVER EVER leave you alone!!!

What you need is a good guard-cat.
Leah, will a dog guard do?

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 29, 2006, 4:42am EDT
I suppose it wil do in a pinch, but my cat makes a fine guard, almost as good as those Russians I have swarming around me all the time. hahaha They make my Sweetheart extremely jealous. I wonder what he's going to do about that.
Appeal to President Putin to send in the Russian Mafia.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 30, 2006, 1:59am EDT
He knows better than to get even MORE Russians running after me. LOL I don't know what the heck it is, but they just seem to like me for some reason. ;-)
Must be the Viking Maple syrup.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jun 30, 2006, 6:18am EDT
Yah that must be it. There are a whole bunch of them here in Guelph that always seem to know what cafe I will go to that day, and they're right there waiting for me. LOL Hmmmm...... They must all be pychic!
Or do you email them first?

Magi
Annina Anton Jun 30, 2006, 4:52pm EDT
Magi, like others here I've just discovered this series...I've been behind in following everyone here...and so I've zipped on back to the first to read the series in sequence. I already know that these are huge fun, and I can't wait to read them all. You really must put them all together in an anthology when you are finished with the series and send them out to a publisher! I'm off to read #2! Cheers!
Why, thank you very much, Annina. And what a good thought. Now enjoy the ride.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 1, 2006, 3:49am EDT
hahaha Magi. Now and then I see something written in their language on an overpasss.... I think they must hack into my computer, read my plans for the next day, and then paint it on the overpass downtown.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it! hahaha
Mum's the word.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 1, 2006, 8:06am EDT
The people in Guelph are beginning to wonder about me, and I can't figure out why. hahaha
Just smile at them.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 2, 2006, 5:46am EDT
hahaha You know the old saying. "Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."
But that adds mystery to the Viking Maple.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 3, 2006, 1:36am EDT
Damn right it does, and that's why I do it!!! There's nothing more fun in life than making people think you're up to something, and NOT telling them what it is you're up to. hahaha And wait till I tell my parents about my Sweetheart! I can't wait to show up with him and SURPRISE the crap out of them!!!!!
I bet you will - heart attack material, I fear.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 5, 2006, 10:38pm EDT
hahaha Read my comment on your main humour table of contents page about what my Dad did last Christmas. I have a couple of good stories about my mother too. LOL Believe me, those parents of mine have it COMING!!!! And the best thing about my Sweetheart is that I'd love him even if he wouldn't drive them crazy, but since I know he will, that's an added bonus. ;-)
Leah, I saw that comment - I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall. Has it occurred to you that your parents might drive him crazy?

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 21, 2006, 3:59pm EDT
Yah I thought of that Magi, but it passed quickly. He knows how to handle himself. He'll drive them crazy, no question about it!
They just might enjoy the drive to the insane asylum.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 22, 2006, 12:35am EDT
Yes, they just might!!! hahahaha They never imagined that *I* would be the daughter who would push them over the edge.
You should write a story about it.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 24, 2006, 1:51pm EDT
I plan on thrning the whole thing into a best selling novel, possibly a soap-opera, and if there's time, a country-western song. hahaha
Do both - it's sure to be a hit.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 25, 2006, 4:51pm EDT
I plan to do it all. I bet I could make a whole load of money that way. You want some? ;-)
I won't say no, Leah. You best reconsider.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 26, 2006, 3:34pm EDT
Well once you put all of these into an awsome book, you can make money of your own. I wish you'd publish these into a book.
Leah, I can't afford to publish them myself - I have very little money as it is. But one can dream, I guess.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 27, 2006, 5:51pm EDT
http://www.lulu.com You don't NEED money! Go there! ;-)
Okay, Leah, I'll go and have a look - thanks.

Magi
Leah, I had a quick look. When I have some spare time I'll take my time browsing through the site.

Magi
Leah Christensen Jul 28, 2006, 3:35pm EDT
Thanks Magi. I can't wait for your opinion!!! ;-) You'll love it. What did you think of the stuff you found when you took a quick look?
Leah, I was puzzled as to how the site makes money from the publishing - hence I'm going to take my time seeking out various answers to questions I have.

Magi
Pamela G. Aug 11, 2006, 7:46am EDT
You do have a wonderful way with words.
Thank you, Pamela. And I'm a tad wacky.

Magi
I have decided to read this series from start to finish. I love your writing and it was interesting to read the comments. I wonder if there is any of the wine left.
Hello, Renda ... I do hope you enjoy this Fireside series. Thank you very much for the lovely compliment. Now, have a goblet of wine. LOL
elizabeth e. Sep 6, 2008, 10:30am EDT
Renda, I wouldn't wait around for the wine...obviously, magi isn't about to share the cache he got when Giovanni took his leave.

Mag, I've never seen this series. I think Renda is on to something! I'll follow her bread crumbs.
Bob, there are three Fireside series. I hope they make you smile.
elizabeth e. Sep 7, 2008, 4:43am EDT
I'm looking for this series...following Renda around.
Bob, you will find all the hyperlinks for the three series, here: 000 Prose: Humour - Table of Contents

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Make New Friends | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Health | Moms | Money | News | Politics | Spirituality | Sports | Travel | Writing
Version 16961, "Pacino"; Copyright © 2009 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.