The 7 Year Itch - Out of the Closet and Finally Proud of It.

In life, we cross many paths and have many adventures.  It seems that each experience makes us grow, or change in some way.  Everyone has unique experiences as well, and that is what transforms them into the person that they ultimately become.  I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that the biggest changes in my life, the most diverse experiences, have come from coming out when I was 18.  Sitting here at 25 years old, I have done some reflection over the past 7 years, and have realized a lot about myself, and the journey I have been on since I came out.

The most major change that I have noticed is tolerance.  When I was younger, call it youth or inexperience, I had a lot of preconceived notions about life, and different people.  7 years later, I realize that everyone is an individual, and that their strengths make us the unique nation that we are today.  Everyone truly is equal, and should have the same rights, and therefore, contribute to our society in everyway possible.  I am more tolerant of people not understanding a problem, because of the fact that they have never been exposed to the circumstances before.  I am more tolerant of change, because that is what life is all about, the changing from one season, one mind-set, to another.  And I am more tolerant of hard work, because without it, our society would have never made the advancements that it has, without the dedication, hard work, and determination of a few visionary leaders and some of the greatest minds of our time.  If they had not worked so hard, we would not even been on this website.

When I was 18, I did not like gay people at all.  I was scared of them, because I saw the courage they had to be who they were, and I did not feel that I was strong enough.  I was raised a Jehovah's Witness, and was taught that being gay was wrong, and only through God, would I ever hope to become "normal", aka heterosexual, again.  I was taught to pray, and not to stray, to keep my faith, marry a girl, and settle down.  At the time, I felt that being gay was a horrible secret, and that I could not let anyone know, because I would then become an outcast to everyone.  Now, in reflection, I realize that mindset was ignorance.  I did not actually know any gay people at all, at least, not any that were open.  The few who claimed they were straight, but still fooled around with guys, were not a good example for me; they taught me to hide who I was because it must be wrong if they are having to hide it.  I took the step, came out, and honestly, I am much happier now.

One of my dreams growing up was to get married, have a great career, and just be happy.  I looked back at all of my journals recently from when I was 18-20, and noticed so much misery and emptiness, and honestly, hopelessness that I felt because I was gay.  I started to believe at that time, that since I was gay, I must be being punished, and therefore, will not be able to have a healthy relationship.  Although I did not give up, I noticed a trend with most of the guys that I dated, they would do drugs, or cheat, or just plainly treat me like dirt.  7 years later, I have a wonderful fiancé, who I love more than anything, and am finally happy.  I am working towards my profession of Corporate Law, and life is coming together.  

All in all, what I am getting at is that it is very hard to come out, especially when you are young.  You are not sure what the world has in store for you, and everything is a discovery.  Our young gay and lesbians out there need our support.  Trust me, you never know it at the beginning, but what a difference 7 years can make.