Past Writing Project - The Loss of Patches

I wrote this in August 2006 as part of a writing class I was taking at the time. The writing had to start with the words "It was a small box but," Here is what I wrote.

It was a small box but, Patches was inside. Not the Patches we loved for the past 9 years, but what remained.

The vet gave us two choices, either they could dispose of his body, or they could cremate him and return the ashes to us. We choose the cremation. We wanted to have our chance to say good-bye to our Big Fat Cow of a cat.

My husband Tim made the move to Texas before Jackie, our daughter & myself. We stayed behind in Minnesota to wait until school was out for the year. We were hoping for as little disruption as possible to Jackie.

Tim was there in Texas for about 2 months before we were able to head down there & join him. Maybe two weeks before our departure he said that he thought Patches was sick, he didn't seem to be eating very well & looked "like a bag of bones". Since Patches has always been a big boy, weighing in at about 20 pounds, being bony was cause for concern.

"Take him to the vet, please do whatever you have to, to make him get better" I barked into the phone "I don't care if it costs $1,000, I want him to be healthy, I don't want you to call me saying he has to be put down."

I know I was talking like this because I was scared that we were going to loose our big boy, with Jackie & I being thousands of miles away. Patches was the first pet our family had, and loosing him was really unthinkable. Hiding behind a rough voice, giving orders was much easier to do.

The next morning Tim brought Patches to the vet, dropping him off before heading to work. Patches was in the kennel, but the Dr. took a look at him before Tim headed out, mentioning that Patches had really white gums, a sign of Anemia, which is a side effect of feline leukemia.

I talked to Tim, and he gave me the number to the vet and told me I could call whenever I had a chance, otherwise they would call him when they had some results.

I called the vet right away; I had just a bad feeling and was concerned for his health. I spoke with an assistant, she assured me that he was comfortable, but they were still waiting on blood tests, could I call back in about an hour? Of course, I will check back then.

I called & told them I was checking on Patches. She placed me on hold & the Vet came on the line. "I'm sorry, Patches is severely anemic and has advanced Feline Leukemia...blah,blah,blah." I started to tune him out, I had received the main information & I was already starting to shut down, not wanting to hear those dreaded words that I asked Tim to not mention to me.

"So are you saying we should put him down?"

"Yes Ma'am, that is what needs to be done for Patches, there is no way for him to recovery from this, he will not get better."

Sniffling "Ok, I'll have my husband call you"

So I quickly found Tim's company phone number on the web, grabbed it, my cell phone & my car keys & went out to the car. Once connected to Tim I just started bawling "They said we have to put him down, that there is no way he can get better, he has feline leukemia. I can't believe we are going to loose our Patchey, I love him so much."

"I know Honey, I know, I can't believe this either. I better get off the phone before I start crying myself & I have to stay here and work."

"But Jackie & I won't get to say good-bye." I wailed into the phone. "You'll go and see him once more before they do this, won't you?

"Honey, I don't think I could do that. I kind of already said good-bye to Patches when I left. They didn't sound very positive about him before I even left there. I can't go and see him, knowing that he is not coming home with me."

"Oh honey, he is going to die all alone, our poor Patchey. I miss him already." The tears already coming - it didn't matter that I was at work.....

The next day Tim picked up his ashes and dropped Mittens off to be tested for the fatal Feline Leukemia. Mittens was spared, he did not have the disease. We still don't understand how Patches got Leukemia; it is passed from one animal to another. The only other cat he was ever around was Mittens and he tested negative.