Dad said it is important to have beliefs and to share them with others, but he was willing to accept new information that might change his previous beliefs. For example, when he found out my two sisters were gay, he thought it was unnatural and an experimental phase of life that they would eventually outgrow. He fought hard to convince them of his way of thinking. But he also listened carefully to both of them and researched the topic deeply, and then concluded that his earlier assumptions were flawed. He now believes and accepts that they have a biological disposition that makes them attracted to women instead of men. I never thought my Dad, who seemed to me at an early age so fixed in his convictions, could make such a dramatic shift in his core beliefs about human sexuality. I respect him greatly for this ability to morph. By the way, both my sisters have been happily married to their respective partners for over a decade.
Dad always knew what he believed in. He thought he was right, but was always willing to be persuaded that he wasn't. But that meant I had to have a solid counter argument to convince him that his way of thinking was not correct. It wore me out verbally sparring with him, but I knew he was open to change his mind if I could come up with strong enough arguments, and that kept me going. I admired Dad for his convictions and commitment to standing up for his beliefs. He advised me that it is more important to take a stand and change it often than to take no stand at all. He said, "Don't be wishy-washy, the world never moved forward with people sitting on the fence."
At 73 years old, Dad is a progressive politically-active Methodist minister who still lives for the polemic. He is working now to impeach President Bush, thinks multinational corporations are destroying the earth, and challenges intelligent design in public forums in Texas. He is willing to do homework on all the major issues in his life, and form solid opinions that he can express cogently to others. I may not agree with Dad on every subject, but at least I know he has a stand and can defend it.
David Marshall
co-author of THE BOOK OF MYSELF
Marshall Books
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