Thoughts before bed - written earlier this year

I have been spinning around in circles in this life.

Where is the drive and passion that I once had?

Did I send it away or did someone steal it from me?

I know I am the one that has control of my mind and my dreams.

Why can't I find a place to begin and a way to find the end of the slow draining of my soul?

I do not need answers, I know where I have gone wrong.

I have the power and the will and I need to believe in myself.

I must not rely on others to give me the direction.

The force that drives my life is within me and all the things I know I can achieve.

I need to be able to show my children that even though life has many obstacles that you should always believe in your inner voice and know that you can stay strong and positive.

Our lives are what we make of them.

I do not want to die knowing that I did not reach my goals or at least give them my best effort.

My mother has not always said things the right way or act in a positive manner, but she has always stood her ground and stayed strong when I truly needed her.

For that I love her very much.

God, please protect my children and watch over my oldest son through this difficult time he is having.  I want him to live as much of a normal life as he can and for him to be alright.

I wrote this earlier this year before going to bed one night.  My oldest son is developmentally delayed and has been going through some pretty intense therapy.