October 10, 2006 03:59 PM EDT
(Updated: October 10, 2006 11:46 PM EDT)
Technology vs Etiquette
These days when so many people carry pagers, phones, laptops, earphones, miniature tv sets, etc. etc. (even portable fax machines!) everywhere they go, consideration for the convenience and comfort of those around you needs to be addressed.
Meal times should be an oasis of enjoyment as well as nourishment in most everyone's hectic schedules.
It is very rude when your phone keeps ringing and your conversation is so loud that it infringes on the space and privacy of people occupying tables around you.
Or when you are sending or receiving faxes at your table...!!(shudder) - and I have been a witness of this attrocious behaviour!
It is acceptable (when you are eating alone) to read a newspaper or book at the table, but it is very rude to accept phone calls and carry on a conversation.
If you must receive phone calls while trying to enjoy a meal...it is much more acceptable to get up from the table and go to a private, inconspicuous place to continue your conversation.
Laptops, portable tv's and fax machines are a definite no-no!
If you are so busy or important that you can't be away from all your communication toys for 45 minutes, you should have your meal brought to your office and let the rest of the world enjoy their meals in peace!
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Comments: 27
Yes.
Selene,
"If someone dining with me and had to take a phone call, I wouldn't mind at all."
Do that to me and you'll end up dining alone. Why? Because you've decided someone on the phone is more important than I am. That may be true, but you only get to rub my nose in it once. Next time, eat with your phone buddy.
It's so annoying to have someone using a phone right in front of you and acting like you're invisible...not only am I not interested in their sex lives, boy friends or perfume selections but I truly don't like having my personal "hearing" space invaded like that. I can't imagine having someone receive a fax at a restaurant...for shame. Why pay to go out and do that?
Selene, I would mind someone taking a call when they are with me unless its an emergency
Honestfarm, I don't know what happened, I can read it right above on my screen and apparently others were also able to read it :-( - I'm sorry!
(One of my other pet peeves is people's misspelling of the phrase!)
Selene, you do that to me once and you will never have the chance to do it again. If you come to my house and do not turn off your cell phone (or just leave it at home), you will never be invited again. Ever. I unplug the traditional phone from the wall during dinner or visits with guests. Never mind a d#@% cell phone!
If you need to eat with your electronics, then you are too much a philistine to appreciate good food. We might as well give you a bowl of dog food to stuff down while you tend to your toys. You don[t care any more than that, and it is insulting to the cook--even if the cook is a short-order one.
Maybe I might have to re-publish it............?
Maybe that has something to do with it, but I do that with all my original newspaper articles too and no one has had troubles reading those........
No idea why....I'm sorry!
As for this article's content, I agree with what you said along with the accompanying comments. However, instead of being annoyed and angered over a situation, I would tend to "write off" the offender as being way too absorbed in themselves and their electronic devices to be able to extend even the simplest courtesies to anyone who happens to be nearby.
In any case, I think you're right about cell phones. They just drive me nuts. If you can't stop text messaging or talking to someone on the phone long enough to have a meal, you might have a problem.
I do wonder why the negativity on lap tops, though. Or did I read that wrong? I can see not having them when you're at a restaurant with someone else but isn't it just like a magazine or a book? Unless of course they've got sound on it. As long as they turn the sound down while doing whatever they're doing, I don't mind laptops. The phone is a problem because if I can hear your side of the conversation it's very annoying. Especially when it's a personal call. I don't want to know who's sleeping with you or who in your family is nuts. I especially don't want to know what the doctor told you about that rash on your genitals. Seriously heard a conversation like that while waiting in line at the post office. Blech!!!!
Marsha, I did lump all communication toys together, but this article was originally a column written in 1999, a bit before laptops were commonly seen everywhere..... although I would excuse a laptop in some places (cafes or very informal diners, etc) I would not object to seeing someone - unless he/she is my dining companion - engrosed in one at a fancier restaurant, but do have to wonder why this person cannot enjoy their meal without the entertainment of a laptop. A book or newspaper you can read by just placing by you and no hands are needed except to turn a page..........for a laptop, you have to continually put your fork down to manouver the 'thingy' or even to type. I don't think that is conducive to enjoying a meal.
Thanks for commenting!
Sonia - Here's a question, Dear Abby style: I agree with you completely but being one of the only people around with a car I feel the need to leave me phone on all of the time in case someone needs an emergency ride (to the hospital, airport, whatev). So I keep my phone on vibrate and simply don't answer it in classes, theatres, restaurants, libraries or meetings, preferring to check the status of the message when I get a moment. However, the vibration does make noise. Not a loud noise, or a noticable one for most people, but occasionally I fear a professor detects it. Would it be better to turn the phone off completely and risk missing vital calls or risk insulting my company even though it's obvious I've made an attempt to silence my phone? This has been bothering me and I'd appreciate any advice you could give.
hehehehehe - today most public phones are all in the open and placed jammed up to each other where you can't help but hear everyone on each side of you!
Cat
Interesting question. I set mine to vibrate or turn it off completely when I'm in the movies, theater performance, church, or a restaurant, etc. - mine has a way I can set the vibrate to loud or just low enough to feel it.
I just met a friend for lunch today and turned mine off. She left hers on and of course, it would ring in the middle of our meal, but she excused herself and went outside. I turn mine back on as soon as I leave the restaurant, theater, movie, church, whatever....and check for messages.
Not many people have my cell phone number. Actually, just family and one close friend, so I know if it rings it is important and not just calling to talk. They know that I have that phone just for emergencies and for conversation they call me on the home phone.