Wear Your Life Well

Years ago I was having lunch with my good friend Jim Brooks, the brilliant  three-time Oscar and  nineteen-time Emmy Award–winning director and writer. We get together a few times a year, ever since our old Taxi days, and he is one of my favorite people, not only because he is brilliant and funny, but also because he is genuinely interested in everything, especially the inner workings of the human mind. (You gotta love a guy like that!) So  here we were sitting and having a great old time when we both happened to notice a woman a few tables away. She was beautiful, t, and well dressed and could have been a model from a magazine article on "having it all." Except for one thing.

Everything about her mood said, "I hate my life."

I'm sure she was just having a bad day (and certainly I've had my share of days when I  could've looked the same to nosy restaurant pa­trons), but the sight of her gave the two of us plenty of food for thought and discussion. "Why do you think she's unhappy?" Jim asked, ever the inquisitor. "I have no idea, but it looks like life is wearing her down. Her life is wearing her, rather than the other way around.  We've all been there. But it's not enough just to wear your life; you have to wear your life well!"

Jim and I talked a lot that day about what "wear your life well" means, and over the years I've thought about that phrase many times, especially when I see someone worn down by life or feel that way myself. What I've come to realize is that the key to wearing your life well is to fully understand what you have and, equally important, know what you want. You have to take a profound look at your dreams, goals, and aspirations, followed by a good, hard look at your assets, re­sources, liabilities, and talents. And then, you have to gure out a way to bridge the gap between the  two—while learning to enjoy the adven­ture!

We all know people who seem to have it all—great job, home, family, and so  on—but every time you talk to them, they sound mis­erable. A lot of this negativity radiates from how someone was raised and what he or she was taught to expect from life. Those who grew up thinking the world owes them something, or that life should not be a struggle, tend to struggle their  whole lives. On the other hand, there are many people who don't seem to have very much, or are loaded down with many responsibilities, but it doesn't matter. They love life! Every time you see them, they're smiling. They're always optimistic, and they have great faith in their resources and relation­ships. They can see the bigger picture, and it looks damn good. Strug­gling  doesn't matter to them, because they are wearing their life well. They know how to make things work for them, and you get the feel­ing that they wouldn't change places with anyone else, because they genuinely love what life has to offer!

The question "How much do you love your life?" is perhaps the best indicator of how well you are wearing yours.

Are you happy? Are you living the life you want? If not, for whom are you doing it all? Are you living for other people? Are you guided by your own plan or by the design of others? Do you see your life as a daily grind, or are you eager to face each day and every new chal­lenge? Do you get along well with your family, friends, relatives, and coworkers, or do you harbor anger, resentment, or guilt? Are you working toward a dream, or are you daydreaming about not working? Are you "working the coat," or burying yourself within it? In essence, do you wear your life well?

If you are wearing your life as if it came off the rack, how much are you willing to change that? You have to honestly ask yourself what is and isn't working. You have to analyze your life from every angle and be willing to make some hard choices, even if it means shaking up someone  else's life in the process. Chances are, whatever is not work­ing for you is not working for them either, but neither of you has been willing to risk the change. You  can't be afraid to be honest with your­self and others. This book may force you to be more truthful than ever before, but I promise it will be worth it!

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