Consider Changing Your Mind

Please feel free to observe that I am as comfortable with my point of view as any "You", and so who am I to advocate openmindedness (with the full audacity of suggesting it start with You).  Also, given this almost universal adoration we all have for our familiar truths, might this title be designed to get the attention of just about anyone and everyone? Maybe so, but I've tried titles like "Hail Margaret".  No one knew what I was talking about.  It didn't get read.  Accurate, descriptive titles aren't just okay, they're pretty essential.

 
I could easily force myself to use a vague title, as my way of staking out some performance-artist status in my writing.  After all, commercial ventures come up many effective titles, like American Idol®, or Everybody Loves Raymond® * - and I wouldn't want to come across as a sellout, would I?  I have two responses to that attitude, which I have heard many times from the Yous in my world as well as the Mes within.  First, in order to sell out, I would need to have skills that someone would want to buy, and by constantly frustrating any chance of my getting noticed, I could avoid challenge, hard work and failure.  Second, doing things well is not just a hallmark of commercialism; it is a key to being competent.

So, do you shun success because it's wrong of Them® to be successful?  Do you continue to be lonely year after year because Evil People® find happiness with a partner of their own sex?  Do you refuse to buy a small car because that's what Liberals® drive?  Do you -like me - dislike Bruce Springsteen®, even though all you've heard are his miserable pop hits, thus denying yourself the beauty that might - and in my intransigence I do mean to say might - exist deeper down in the more obscure cuts of his music?

 I've come to believe that denying others the right to be who they are, or enjoy what they enjoy - I believe this is a blunder of a very basic sort.

I was once flipping though a book by the spiritual writer Neale Donald Walsch, and while it wasn't my kind of book - after all Religious People® read about spirituality, not me - I did stumble upon a remarkable statement.  This is not a quote, but he said something to the effect that when you try to deny others the right to do what it is they want to do, odds are you are not only going to fail.  They will most likely continue to do it.  What you are really succeeding in is denying yourself the opportunity to see if you might want to be that kind of person, or engage in that sort of activity.

 
Oh, lightning bolt of illumination!  I mean Holy ____, what else might I find in this book if I could bring myself to sit through an entire book about Religion®.

So, let's recap. 

Successful People® are evil because "I say so" and as long as I hold fast to that position, I will probably insulate myself from success.

Ho-mo-sek-shoe-uls® are evil, because there is a large amount of literature and propaganda and sophistry out there that will help me understand that "fact", and thus as long as I think it is wrong to be with a man, I may continue to try to make it work with a woman (even though it never does).  Note I'm saying "I" here, because I don't want to alarm you too much with the suggestion you just might be gay as a pile of brightly colored feathers.  If so, good for you, should you accept the assignment.

Liberals® deny themselves their inalienable right to drive a big car, pack a gun and live 65 miles from work, so I'm going to go into the poorhouse and go crazy with other drivers, and one of these days when they piss me off . . .

People Who Listen to Springsteen® are missing what music is really about, and thus I don't listen to Springsteen, because Heaven® forbid I should find any enjoyment by listening to an artist who has had a little Success®.

Religious People® box themselves into a world of limited possibilities, so I'm going to leave my options perpetually open, so that someday - when the time is right - I'll be able to decide what it is I want to believe.

In the above, I've used "I", and "You" and "Them" in a let's-suppose sort of way.  I don't know who "They" are, so I can't speak authoritatively about their likes or dislikes.  The same goes for "You" because this is not a personal communication.  Likewise, I said "I" above mostly so I wouldn't offend "You" or "Them" (though not always).

In reality, I am not a Hockey Fan®, or Church-Goer®, or Guy Who Would Rather Go Out With the Boys Than Have the Company of Women®, or a Suburbanite®, or a Republican® (anymore), or a Workaholic®, or a Person Who Kisses His Dog®, or a Jew® (even though technically, I am).

Any one of these above could have been ruled out by me because I've told myself people who I have hung that label on are Bad People®.  This is not the case with some of them, totally the case with some of them, and there's a little bit of that at work in each and every thing I tell myself it is not okay to be.

Think of some things you don't think people ought to do.

Now, look at each one and ask yourself whether you really ought to be excluding that from the possibilities that are open to you.

Do you think you might want to change your mind about some things, or soften your views on some things? 

 Heaven forbid you would become one of those people who is Soft On® _________.

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* I think a little truth in advertising is called for in the title "Everybody Loves Raymond".  I mean, I don't love Raymond (even though I've never let myself watch the show).  No, I watch Frazier, and that somehow makes me smarter that people who watch That Other Show®.